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Shell04 — Sleep
Published: 2008-12-19 04:44:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 91; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description Soft, warm blankets
Warm, caressing pillows
Caressing, gentle dreams
Gentle, peaceful sleep.

Smile upon lips,
Dreary droning snoring on
Hanging off the bed, lazy leering fingertips
Snoozing until dawn.

Hair matted on the pillow
Tangled through and through
Waiting till the morrow
Till I can be with you.
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Comments: 8

Catalysta [2008-12-19 14:35:43 +0000 UTC]

awww! you so cute, lol
merry x-mas
sorryi wasnt in class on thursday

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Shell04 In reply to Catalysta [2008-12-21 20:26:31 +0000 UTC]

It's alright. You missed a vocab test though xD
And I have to get you your present somehow, lol. I was thinking of sending it with my mom to her work, so she could pass it on, and eventually it would reach you.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Catalysta In reply to Shell04 [2008-12-22 01:51:43 +0000 UTC]

lol we could hang out tuseday if your free
im swamped all break except for tuesday and the weekend before we go back
i know, im a busy body

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Shell04 In reply to Catalysta [2008-12-23 00:04:20 +0000 UTC]

I can't do anything Tuesday Just found out that me and Liz are going on some last-minute shopping.

Maybe during that weekend before we go back we can do something -- I figure that I had better schedule something with you, before someone else wants to hang out with you then~

I've said it before - you're popular xD So busy.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Catalysta In reply to Shell04 [2008-12-23 00:16:43 +0000 UTC]

lol, ok,
have fun shopping
ill call you when i get home

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

UntoldHistories [2008-12-19 04:51:00 +0000 UTC]

"Waiting till the morrow
Till I can be with you."

Very nice pair. I like the way it flows, and you seem to have a good rhythm. You use the words "Till" right after one another, and that seems slightly redundant. ALWAYS be careful with your words, as they mean everything as a poet. Very nice work.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

UntoldHistories In reply to UntoldHistories [2008-12-19 04:52:37 +0000 UTC]

I almost forgot! I wanted to add another way to put that line. instead of "Waiting till the morrow" you could consider "Waiting for the morning"

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

Shell04 In reply to UntoldHistories [2008-12-21 20:24:24 +0000 UTC]

I like using "morrow" because, like "pillow" used before it, the word ends with an "-ow" sound.

I'll try to consider my word choice (i.e. the use of the word "till" right after each other) but sometimes I can't help it. It just sounds so . . . RIGHT to me. I'm not sure if another word would have the same effect in my mind.

Thanks for the wonderfully insightful comment <3 x3

👍: 0 ⏩: 0