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Shioji-san — Race
Published: 2011-04-21 10:25:48 +0000 UTC; Views: 6219; Favourites: 189; Downloads: 34
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Description
Okay now to expplain just who these other two are that are racing *LyricaBelachium 's twins Ashbringer and Cliffstrider. Well this is my way of not only introducing new characters of mine, but as well as the two main characters in the digital game I am working Sonic and Haste. Sonic being the blue one and Haste being the purple on. For in the game you should be able to pic to be the femme or the mech. I know I sound like a hypocrite for saying this next part, though they be the children of Blurr. At first I didn't mean to make it like that, though you know how when you get an idea stuck in your head about a character and it's something you like and want to keep.
but anyways enjoy the pic
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Comments: 30
This the first time I had ever written a critique, so I'm pretty sure it contains many errors. Or something. I wouldn't mind if you disapprove and bombard this critique, but I hope that you'll give an explanation as to why you do it.
Now... I'll try to critique as fairly as possible with the DA FAQ as a guide.
Vision – Does the artwork present or reflect a point of view, theme or idea?
All I can say that the picture is very simple. It's basically a picture of 4 Transformers racing, nothing more, nothing less. The picture reflects the theme (racing) straightforwardly. There's nothing else for me to interpret, unless that this picture holds a very deep meaning or something that I missed out. (which I highly doubt)
Originality – Is the artwork fresh or new in its style, execution or approach? Is it something you haven’t seen before in its particular genre? Does it surprise you?
It isn't a whole lot original, to boot. I've seen many other pictures of Transformers racing. Their designs aren't all that original either, since they're all related to Blurr and exerts a reasonable amount of his IDW and TFA designs. And is that a Drift-helm I see there? However, I do appreciate that you didn't completely copied Blurr's design and added some of your own designs. The racetrack isn't very original too, it basically being a simple arena with no special features.
Technique – Was the artwork skillfully created? Does the artist exhibit advanced knowledge of the medium and/or bring special focus to the craft of the medium used.
Colouring:
The choice of colour is perfect, with all the light in the arena, the colours are unsaturated and fits in perfectly with the background.
The thing that irks me most about the picture is of the distinct lack of shading. (not highlights, this picture has enough of that) Examples are Cliffstrider's left leg and the back-flap at her bottom. The same goes to the lights/camera on top of the racetrack. However, I do understand that you had used some gradient to replace it but it still looked weird. There is also the lack of shadows too, from the contestants and the beams that supports the lights/camera. But then, I'm not familiar with the cell-shading style, so I might be too unfair in this case.
The highlights in the picture is bright and makes the details on the characters pop out, especially Sonic. I have no qualms about that. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/let… " width="15" height="15" alt="
I also love the motion blur effect you've added, it makes the picture dynamic~ <3
Impact – Does the artwork resonate with you or evoke strong emotions? Does it make you think? Does it blow your mind?
When I first saw this picture, I think it's very pacey and full of action. Though, it doesn't really 'evoke strong emotions' or 'blow my mind'. To sum it up, it doesn't make me go "SQUEE OMG" It's pretty simple to my eyes. Their expressions are easy to read too: Haste looks confident enough to overtake Cliffstrider, with the latter having an amused and competitive expression. Sonic looks very smug while Ashbringer's expression clearly warns him to watch out.
Sonic's pose looks perfect. However, I think the other poses are a wee bit stiff. Haste and Ashbringer should hunch more and Cliffstrider's back should bend a little bit. And I think Ashbringer's neck is too long. Her left thigh can be raised a little higher and her right leg pushed further to the back to indicate that she's giving it her all to beat Sonic.
Don't be afraid to apply the squashing technique to your pictures, heck, even the TFA animators used this technique to make the characters look more dynamic too! |'D These two guides may help you improve more on poses: [link] [link]
Deviousness – An average rating based on your selections within Vision, Originality, Technique, and Impact.
Overall, I think this piece is wonderfully executed, but it has a few errors that I think needs correcting. I hope you'll keep up the good work! :3
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Vision: Yeah there is no deep meaning behind this it was meant to be nothing more than a simple introduction of what these guys like to do
Originality: actually I was more inspired but Override's frame than I was Blurr's, was inspired to use that little spike part of his helm really not that much else. Only reason chest plates are similar are because well override's and blurr's are similar, and from what I've seen in the comics a lot of racers have similar chest. As for the drift thing I was thinking something arrow like and did that, later realizing that it was done on Deadlock
Technique: Like to say thanks again for point out her leg I didn't even notice it until you pointed it out *gonna have to force myself to fix that later*
Impact: *Makes not to work on better poses because mine suck* xD
thanks for the critic
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Override? Huh. You've got a point there. But then, you can still deviate from the Canon Racing Transformer's design and create your own.
I'm guessing you paired Override with Blurr amirite?
And yeah, I know the feeling of thinking up original junk. They make my head hurt.
Poses makes everything perfecto~
No problem. Though I apologize for writing such a omgwtfsohuge critique that probably made your eyes bleed. X.X
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Could have made my own yes, though that would be longer thought process, and like with the race track wasn't interested in thinking so much xD
and no actually I didn't I just saw her alt thought it was cool so wanted to give them something similar for an alt though their actual alt is different, but I was first inspired by hers
indeed I suck with them so much ><;
yes yes it did which was why it took so long to reply I not into long post xD though I do appreciated it
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Tried to check was there other TF OC that was named Flamer. I'm glad I did, these two looks AWESOME.
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Like? I think I love them :3
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So does this mean you're for cannon x OC relationships now or is this just for the fun of the game you're making? *a little confused *
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A random femme really, the party dude he was seen doing made him seem like he would go around and just sleep with random femmes, and they're a product of one he wasn't careful with
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COOL. Tho the color's seems a little too pale.. ^^ all in all it's okay.
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how did you do the blurr on the front two?
Also cool pic.
-Silnev
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Yes you r right I should've done =_=
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Yes My twins vs.s Ly's twins
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oh, you had twins? who are they?
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I just created them about a week ago, they be Sonic (blue) and Haste (purple)
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I'm guessing Haste is a girl (it looks like she/he has metal boobs) and Sonic (the hedgehog XD) is a guy?
you did very nice work with them 
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0,o I don't see how she has boobs
and I just liked the name sonic, I came up with many names but none were as good as sonic so I kept with it ^^
thanks =3
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well, i probably just forgot my glasses when i saw it, by i have 'em now.
...you're right.
your welcome :3
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