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Description
During worship this morning in Sunday morning service, I had closed my eyes and imagined myself with Jesus (as I was instructed to do by Pastor Bill). As I stood there, we were asked to talk to Jesus about our worries and anxieties in areas of our lives. Immediately two things came to my mind: my inner struggle with romance and my joblessness. The one that hurts me the most is my romantic side.

All of my life, since I was in preschool, I've been vulnerable in this area. As a child and into adulthood I have developed several odd behaviors and believed several lies about romance in general-such as sex and gender.

A thing that has brought me so much shame has brought me so much joy but also fear. I want to be loved. I want to be able to receive the man God has promised for me. But it is so hard. So incredibly hard to keep my mind out of gutters and so hard for me to think of my deepest most inner hurt in this area, and believe that all God tells me is true. That He promises to redeem this area of my life. That it won't be perfect, but it will be GOOD and it will be from HIM and it will be blessed.

As I stood before the Lord, I became a small child again, dressed in a princess outfit with a tiara upon my head with gems and jewels. I had a sceptar of sorts, showing that I was powerful and that I was of royalty. Jesus knelt down to me and opened his hand, motioning for me to give him something.

In my right hand I had a small bead. It was pink, and was tainted by sin and corruption. But no shame was in my little girl's eyes. No fear...No anxiety. I just pulled it out and looked at it. In reality, this issue of romance is disproportionately hard for me to cope with. But in this vision, it was so miniscule. So tiny. So insignificant to me and the Lord's eyes.

He took the small, pink bead from my hands, and smiled. As he touched the bead, the bead turned solid Gold, and it shimmered and glowed. He handed it back to me, and said,

"You are a Treasure."

I began to cry out loud as people around me began to pat me on the back during church. He told me that I was a treasure. That even this area of my life-this crooked, and tainted area is beautiful to him in his eyes. And he sees it as a small little bead...When I see this thing in my life as my biggest struggle. This thing that makes me feel like the most nasty woman on the planet. The thing that makes me feel unclean and dirty...He told me it was a treasure. He said it was beautiful. He said it was not tainted...It was going to be redeemed. It would be transformed into Beauty. It would become Gold-though it is not there yet.

This is why we serve a Good God. Because His grace is enough for us. He loves us with a non-condemning, non-shaming, unconditional love and He loves to take things of weakness and transform them into glory stories. He takes our dirty laundry and changes them into outfits of Gold and jewels. He takes our beads....and makes them shine like the sun for the world to see.

Lord, my Daddy. Lord, My Savior. Lord, The Spirit.

If any of you have something in your life that you feel is too "dirty" for God to deal with...If anyone feels like they've done something unforgivable....If anyone feels ashamed, embarrassed, feels like God doesn't have time for your "nonsense," There Jesus stands with you. He stands with you, not with eyes of disappointment. Not with eyes of scorn...He even smiles at you.

Close your eyes. Go to a place that is safe. The Lord of Lords is standing before you, and he asks you to take out your shame, your "dirty laundry," Your worries and fears. Your past hurts, your sins...your embarrassments... And he shows you how small he sees it in the eclipse of his grace. He shows you that he looks past it and sees you as a beautiful daughter or a strong son. He takes the bead from your hand..And he kisses it. Changing it into solid Gold, or maybe even something greater. He lets it shine, and he calls it His. He cures your shame and your own self-hatred. He puts it back into your hand-this time, shining with great and holy splendor...And he tells you to take care of it. For He delights in you-even in your weaknesses. He redeems the things you think are hopeless and he cleans even the worst of stains. Because that's just how good our God is. He adores us.

Description
During worship this morning in Sunday morning service, I had closed my eyes and imagined myself with Jesus (as I was instructed to do by Pastor Bill). As I stood there, we were asked to talk to Jesus about our worries and anxieties in areas of our lives. Immediately two things came to my mind: my inner struggle with romance and my joblessness. The one that hurts me the most is my romantic side.

All of my life, since I was in preschool, I've been vulnerable in this area. As a child and into adulthood I have developed several odd behaviors and believed several lies about romance in general-such as sex and gender.

A thing that has brought me so much shame has brought me so much joy but also fear. I want to be loved. I want to be able to receive the man God has promised for me. But it is so hard. So incredibly hard to keep my mind out of gutters and so hard for me to think of my deepest most inner hurt in this area, and believe that all God tells me is true. That He promises to redeem this area of my life. That it won't be perfect, but it will be GOOD and it will be from HIM and it will be blessed.

As I stood before the Lord, I became a small child again, dressed in a princess outfit with a tiara upon my head with gems and jewels. I had a sceptar of sorts, showing that I was powerful and that I was of royalty. Jesus knelt down to me and opened his hand, motioning for me to give him something.

In my right hand I had a small bead. It was pink, and was tainted by sin and corruption. But no shame was in my little girl's eyes. No fear...No anxiety. I just pulled it out and looked at it. In reality, this issue of romance is disproportionately hard for me to cope with. But in this vision, it was so miniscule. So tiny. So insignificant to me and the Lord's eyes.

He took the small, pink bead from my hands, and smiled. As he touched the bead, the bead turned solid Gold, and it shimmered and glowed. He handed it back to me, and said,

"You are a Treasure."

I began to cry out loud as people around me began to pat me on the back during church. He told me that I was a treasure. That even this area of my life-this crooked, and tainted area is beautiful to him in his eyes. And he sees it as a small little bead...When I see this thing in my life as my biggest struggle. This thing that makes me feel like the most nasty woman on the planet. The thing that makes me feel unclean and dirty...He told me it was a treasure. He said it was beautiful. He said it was not tainted...It was going to be redeemed. It would be transformed into Beauty. It would become Gold-though it is not there yet.

This is why we serve a Good God. Because His grace is enough for us. He loves us with a non-condemning, non-shaming, unconditional love and He loves to take things of weakness and transform them into glory stories. He takes our dirty laundry and changes them into outfits of Gold and jewels. He takes our beads....and makes them shine like the sun for the world to see.

Lord, my Daddy. Lord, My Savior. Lord, The Spirit.

If any of you have something in your life that you feel is too "dirty" for God to deal with...If anyone feels like they've done something unforgivable....If anyone feels ashamed, embarrassed, feels like God doesn't have time for your "nonsense," There Jesus stands with you. He stands with you, not with eyes of disappointment. Not with eyes of scorn...He even smiles at you.

Close your eyes. Go to a place that is safe. The Lord of Lords is standing before you, and he asks you to take out your shame, your "dirty laundry," Your worries and fears. Your past hurts, your sins...your embarrassments... And he shows you how small he sees it in the eclipse of his grace. He shows you that he looks past it and sees you as a beautiful daughter or a strong son. He takes the bead from your hand..And he kisses it. Changing it into solid Gold, or maybe even something greater. He lets it shine, and he calls it His. He cures your shame and your own self-hatred. He puts it back into your hand-this time, shining with great and holy splendor...And he tells you to take care of it. For He delights in you-even in your weaknesses. He redeems the things you think are hopeless and he cleans even the worst of stains. Because that's just how good our God is. He adores us.