Comments: 4
jade161588 [2008-07-07 01:23:28 +0000 UTC]
Bravo! This one was quite beautiful! I'm glad that I was able to read yet again one of your poems. I have grown much as a person since you last critiqued my writing and all your poems have much higher meaning to me now.
The only bit on this poem that interrupted my mind reading it with flow was that some parts didn't follow a set rhythm as the other verses did. Some stanzas seem to follow a rigid rule and then some seem to be almost free form. Though all stanzas are beautiful, because you started off with an initial pattern, it almost stands out too much from the rest of the poem when a stanza doesn't follow that pattern.
The imagery and rhymes on this made for a good hearty reading. It was also a longer poem than those I'm used to (not just by you but by other writers I read).
I can see that this poem took much though. Or if it didn't, you're just skillful at writing either way.
I await more poems. But let your muse take its time.
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silentskream In reply to jade161588 [2008-07-07 18:02:26 +0000 UTC]
Jade....Is this your comment? I can see this same comment made by some Kristabel-316 in mymessage box. See here, same comment. DA is acting weird, or I dont know how this works.
[link]
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jade161588 In reply to silentskream [2008-07-08 02:28:43 +0000 UTC]
D: Yes. This is indeed my comment. I have no idea how this happened o.O
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silentskream In reply to jade161588 [2008-07-08 14:54:57 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the comment, Indeed after reading your comment, I realized a few places where there was an impediment to the flow. So I changed a few things.
Thank you again.Feels good
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