Comments: 17
MysticFay [2011-02-12 22:49:28 +0000 UTC]
Lovely free work.
My favorite lines: i said, sing me something: each note was long as a holiday week.
i drank that song. down like
eggno
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
neonsquiggle [2011-02-02 07:17:29 +0000 UTC]
Gorgeous~
(:
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
AmarettoMixtape [2011-01-29 18:04:20 +0000 UTC]
this is beautiful. the imagery is fresh. and i love how this flows.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rusaiji [2011-01-29 02:52:37 +0000 UTC]
I like it, and find your commentary on it rather baffling and an interesting way of putting it.
I take issue with "that was a good day" only because I hear that phrase too much, and I think you could reword that in a more interesting and unusual way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Rusaiji In reply to sliverofciel [2011-01-30 02:59:47 +0000 UTC]
Oh I think you should keep the meaning of the line the same, just change the wording a little bit so people stop and think "well what an interesting way to put that." I just feel like poetry's at it's best (although I'm far from understanding it in the least) when you can rewrite a simple phrase and make someone reevaluate everything they thought they previously understood about it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BeatNickBarney [2011-01-29 00:35:18 +0000 UTC]
This is beautiful, I adore it. And you are a skilled writer.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
churchmouth [2011-01-28 21:22:25 +0000 UTC]
oh my, this is absolutely beautiful.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1