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synchrochick007 β€” discreet flames by-nd
Published: 2007-09-11 22:49:15 +0000 UTC; Views: 231; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 6
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Description a slum upon forsaken ground
drifting among things lost and found
uncertainty rooted in the heart
wondering aimlessly toward the dark

along the docile path is shown,
ramifications of problems overgrown
ignorance itself is spite
while continuing methodically into the night

at last, the turn of fates end
looming ahead just past the bend
gripping the final chance to turn
caught in between the heat of truth’s burn
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Comments: 14

Sloppisloth [2007-10-19 00:12:15 +0000 UTC]

Critique wise, maybe make sure some of the syllables are all super perfect for ideal poetic flow...But it looks really good! I don't understand it though. I read your explanation but I don't understand 8(. Stopid head is teh shloppi.

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synchrochick007 In reply to Sloppisloth [2007-10-19 00:25:39 +0000 UTC]

thank you for the suggestion. I don't know how to explain it if you didn't understand my explanation. I guess what really matters is what you get out of it.

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angelzodica013 [2007-09-25 23:49:39 +0000 UTC]

this poem can relate to many things like lost love. and others that i dont remember. the poem could help a lot of people and the way its worded is magnificence.

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Colossus999 [2007-09-24 22:12:26 +0000 UTC]

I like it, but I can't really figure out what it's about. Could you help me?

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synchrochick007 In reply to Colossus999 [2007-09-24 22:27:16 +0000 UTC]

the first stanza gives off confused emotions and hints at being conflicted between two things. the second stanza is about walking continuing down a path that you know will lead to no good end, yet it makes you happy and is nicer than the other route. the last is about running out of time as to what path to choose and desperately hanging on to the last oppurtunity to change. overall the poem is about being conflicted with the way you're headed even though it's nice now, you know bad things will happen if you stay and if you go then things will only get harder. I'm not sure if I explained it very well, or if I just confused you. I guess if you didn't know what it was about I wasn't very clear.... sorry

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Colossus999 In reply to synchrochick007 [2007-09-24 22:30:51 +0000 UTC]

I get it now, thanks And I understand. Decisions can eb very hard. It is hard to turn from the things we know, even if it's better for us.

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synchrochick007 In reply to Colossus999 [2007-09-24 22:37:25 +0000 UTC]

thank you! I'm very glad you understand now!

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Destinymanifested [2007-09-12 05:38:07 +0000 UTC]

it's dreamy i love it!!!

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synchrochick007 In reply to Destinymanifested [2007-09-12 21:05:00 +0000 UTC]

thankyou! and Btw,
thanks for the fav!

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Destinymanifested In reply to synchrochick007 [2007-09-14 03:53:46 +0000 UTC]

you deserved it, this is a really great piece! the rhyming, the meter everything... i truly love the concept too...
it really took me on a trip! *gives two thumbs up*

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synchrochick007 In reply to Destinymanifested [2007-09-14 18:54:58 +0000 UTC]

yay for trips I love all your support!

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Destinymanifested In reply to synchrochick007 [2007-09-15 18:11:02 +0000 UTC]

anytime!
yay! hugs! i love hugs!

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synchrochick007 In reply to Destinymanifested [2007-09-15 19:18:29 +0000 UTC]

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Destinymanifested In reply to synchrochick007 [2007-09-15 23:54:15 +0000 UTC]

aaaw

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