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Description
Regrets

No one really knew why he left. They just believed that the thought of Terra was getting to be too much to handle for the green teen, so, they didn't question anything when he told them he was leaving.

But that wasn't the reason.

Raven knew the reason, and she regrets every hour of her life when she thinks back to it.

Beastboy had pulled her aside in the hall one morning while she was heading to the kitchen. He looked nervous but courageous at the same time like he was finally going to get something off his chest. Raven just looked straight at him with her deadpan eyes.

"Raven, I have to tell you something that's been eating me alive lately," He looked to the ground, "And if I can't tell you, or you don't agree, I don't think I can keep on living in this town."

Raven didn't say anything, she didn't leave. She just waited for what he had to say because it had spiked her curiosity.

He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes again, "Raven I… I love you."

Raven sucked in her breath quickly, 'Where had that come from?' He was looking at her with hope that she might return those three words, that they would live a happily ever after like in fairy tales.

But she didn't say anything because she didn't love him.

After about 30 seconds of silence Raven pulled her hood up over her head and turned, "I can't love." Three words, and they weren't the ones Beastboy wanted to hear.

She walked away not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.

That same afternoon Beastboy announced he was leaving. They were sad but didn't ask for the reason because they thought they knew. But they couldn't have been more off.

Starfire had squeezed the breath out of him with tears glistening in her eyes. Robin shook his hand. Cyborg gave a wish of good luck and a pat on the back.

This whole time he hadn't met Raven's eyes but she didn't mind. Quiet frankly they already said good bye in the hall. They watched him from the window as he flew off into the sun never to return.

That was a year ago on this day exactly. Raven wondered down the halls aimlessly feeling regret just thinking about it again. She thought that if she played the day over and over, it would eventually go away.

But it didn't.

It stayed and each day it would hurt more than the first. Every night she cried herself to sleep at thoughts of Beastboy. All the memories they shared together that they spent with no one else. Raven would hit herself every time she thought of that one day though. If she hadn't been so heartless, so cold, he would still be here to cheer her up.

She stopped in front of a door and turned to see where she was. Of all places she just had to stop in front of the door marked BEASTBOY. No one had gone in there since he left for two reasons really. One reason, it was a hazard, you didn't know if something would fall on you if you bumped into something. And reason number two is that no one wanted to really remember. They didn't want to be reminded that they lost a comrade, a teammate, a friend who was still out there some where.

Raven felt herself moving towards it as it opened for her, inviting her in with that same sort of childish manner that Beastboy used to greet everyone with. She walked into the musty green room compelled. It was as if he never left. Dirty laundry strewn about, comics on the floor and even bits of really moldy food.

Even though it was such a mess Raven breathed in the aroma most people would barf at. But she loved this smell because it was the smell Beastboy wore everyday. This smell was home for her and she forgot how much she had missed this smell. She opened her eyes and saw the monkey with cymbals that they had seen after watching Wicked Scary.

She walked over to it and laughed half heartily, "You never did get rid of this." She clutched the monkey to her chest and realized she had been crying. She swallowed at the growing lump in her throat and collapsed to the ground gazing at the foolish toy.

She sat on the floor for an hour before finally getting up to leave with the monkey still in her hand. She went back in her room and placed the monkey near her alarm clock, "I'm sorry Beastboy." She said to herself.

There was a bunch of annoying pounding on her door. But it wasn't Beastboy's. "Friend Raven, you must come quick. It is quiet urgent."

Raven wiped her eyes and opened the door as Starfire flew at her taking hold of her arm, Starfire then careened quickly down the halls into the Ops room.

Cyborg looked over his shoulder from the couch grinning, "Well, it looks like our little grass stain has made it in the big wide world."

Raven stared quizzically at him before flicking her eyes to the TV. She just about fainted. Beastboy was on the screen in some SCFI movie.

"Is this not most glorious?!" Starfire squealed, "He has found a most glorious job!"

Raven didn't answer, she just continued watching him, savoring the new, deeper, sound of his voice. He did look dorky but that's what made him seem so much like his old self. She choked on a new sob as she watched him at his station yelling over his shoulder as the ship flashed red.

Robin grinned from where he was at, "Well, at least we know he's all right."

Raven wanted to shake her head at Robin though. She knew he looked like a great actor and he was doing fine but something in his eyes told her otherwise. He was not happy. "Robin," Raven began, talking for the first time in minutes, "where is he at."

"Well, Hollywood, if he's movie star."

Raven knew what she had to do, all she had to do was wait till night where her friends would be asleep.

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Raven got up around 12 a.m. and went to her closet to put on a pair of skinny jeans, black converse, and a black t-shirt. She then brushed her hair and grabbed the monkey holding it to her heart. She sat in the middle of her floor cross legged imagining Hollywood in her head. Seeing it, hearing the sounds, tasting the air. She had the picture and she held onto it with all her will.

She chanted her mantra and opened her eyes finding herself standing in the middle of a sidewalk while people stared at her. She looked up and saw the thing Hollywood was famous for.

She looked around at the people gathered around her like she was some freak show. "Please do any of you know where the actor Beas- Garfield Logan is?"

They talked amongst themselves as one young man stepped forward, "He doesn't tell anyone where he lives."

'Crap,' Raven thought to herself. 'This might take longer than I thought.' She thanked the guy and shot up into the air flying above all those surprised people, but she didn't care about them. She just needed to find him. To get him back, to tell him how she felt.

She cleared her mind to try and locate him through all the crowds of this place. After hours of searching she let out a sigh and floated back to the ground with no luck on finding him. She was tired but she refused to give up her search. She walked down the streets looking to the ground feeling like a failure.

"What if he's moved?" She asked herself. She then bumped into someone wearing a long black coat, "Uh, sorry."

Raven walked around the guy and continued on her way, "Raven?"

She froze. That new voice of his was unmistakable. She turned back around to look at who exactly she bumped into. It was, in fact, Beastboy. She put her hand to her mouth unable to speak as tears welled up in her eyes.

He walked to her a good 6 inches taller than her now, "What are you doing here?"

Raven searched his face as if the person in front of her wasn't actually Beastboy. She couldn't help herself, she jumped at him wrapping her arms around him breaking down in tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"

Beastboy jumped but hugged her back. She listened to his heart and wanted to never let go of him and to stay in this moment forever.

"You don't know how much I hate myself for letting you go."

Beastboy stared at her, "Its fine Raven, don't beat yourself up. I found a job so it wasn't a total loss. Plus, I'm sure you guys are fine without me."

Raven shook her head in his shirt, "No, its not. I saw your movie Beastboy. I… You need to come back. PLEASE! It's not the same, it never was when you left. We can't take down the criminals as easily without you, walking by your room kills me. No one cheers me up like you used to, coming home doesn't feel like home because your not there."

Beastboy sagged a little, "I can't. And I told you that, it killed me living there." Raven looked up at him and he touched her hair that came just past her shoulders now, "I love what you did with your hair though." He then let go, "Nice seeing you." He turned around walking away as it started to rain.

Raven just stared at him and grew furious as the rain pelted her, "So that's just it?!"

Beastboy stopped not turning around, "What do you mean?"

"I come here to apologize and you still won't come back?" Raven looked at her hand and realized she was holding that stupid monkey. She clutched it tighter.

He faced her, "Raven, I didn't want an apology. I never did. The reason why I left was because I was a stupid kid. You helped me realize that. So I created a new life for myself and grew up."

Raven blinked back fresh tears, "Beastboy I never wanted that. When you left I realized so many things." She stepped to him, "One of things is that your childish humor was what helped me get up in the mornings. Helped me look forward to the day."

Beastboy looked off into the distance as he listened to her.

"Another thing is something I should've told you a year ago." She grabbed his face with her free hand, "And that is, is that I love you Beastboy."

He searched her face as if she was joking and then grinned that grin she knew so well. He reached for her face tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch looking up at him in a daze. Beastboy then leaned down to her connect their lips together.

She kissed him back as this new feeling opened up in her and the feeling of electricity flowed between them. He broke the kiss only to lean down and do it again. Raven dropped the monkey and wrung her hands in his green hair.

They stopped and Beastboy placed his lips next to her ear, "Let's go home."

She smiled at him and, picking up the monkey, she teleported them back to the tower were they would have to face their friends. But she didn't care just as long as she had him near she would be happy and content.

Description
Regrets

No one really knew why he left. They just believed that the thought of Terra was getting to be too much to handle for the green teen, so, they didn't question anything when he told them he was leaving.

But that wasn't the reason.

Raven knew the reason, and she regrets every hour of her life when she thinks back to it.

Beastboy had pulled her aside in the hall one morning while she was heading to the kitchen. He looked nervous but courageous at the same time like he was finally going to get something off his chest. Raven just looked straight at him with her deadpan eyes.

"Raven, I have to tell you something that's been eating me alive lately," He looked to the ground, "And if I can't tell you, or you don't agree, I don't think I can keep on living in this town."

Raven didn't say anything, she didn't leave. She just waited for what he had to say because it had spiked her curiosity.

He took a deep breath and looked her in the eyes again, "Raven I… I love you."

Raven sucked in her breath quickly, 'Where had that come from?' He was looking at her with hope that she might return those three words, that they would live a happily ever after like in fairy tales.

But she didn't say anything because she didn't love him.

After about 30 seconds of silence Raven pulled her hood up over her head and turned, "I can't love." Three words, and they weren't the ones Beastboy wanted to hear.

She walked away not wanting to see the hurt in his eyes.

That same afternoon Beastboy announced he was leaving. They were sad but didn't ask for the reason because they thought they knew. But they couldn't have been more off.

Starfire had squeezed the breath out of him with tears glistening in her eyes. Robin shook his hand. Cyborg gave a wish of good luck and a pat on the back.

This whole time he hadn't met Raven's eyes but she didn't mind. Quiet frankly they already said good bye in the hall. They watched him from the window as he flew off into the sun never to return.

That was a year ago on this day exactly. Raven wondered down the halls aimlessly feeling regret just thinking about it again. She thought that if she played the day over and over, it would eventually go away.

But it didn't.

It stayed and each day it would hurt more than the first. Every night she cried herself to sleep at thoughts of Beastboy. All the memories they shared together that they spent with no one else. Raven would hit herself every time she thought of that one day though. If she hadn't been so heartless, so cold, he would still be here to cheer her up.

She stopped in front of a door and turned to see where she was. Of all places she just had to stop in front of the door marked BEASTBOY. No one had gone in there since he left for two reasons really. One reason, it was a hazard, you didn't know if something would fall on you if you bumped into something. And reason number two is that no one wanted to really remember. They didn't want to be reminded that they lost a comrade, a teammate, a friend who was still out there some where.

Raven felt herself moving towards it as it opened for her, inviting her in with that same sort of childish manner that Beastboy used to greet everyone with. She walked into the musty green room compelled. It was as if he never left. Dirty laundry strewn about, comics on the floor and even bits of really moldy food.

Even though it was such a mess Raven breathed in the aroma most people would barf at. But she loved this smell because it was the smell Beastboy wore everyday. This smell was home for her and she forgot how much she had missed this smell. She opened her eyes and saw the monkey with cymbals that they had seen after watching Wicked Scary.

She walked over to it and laughed half heartily, "You never did get rid of this." She clutched the monkey to her chest and realized she had been crying. She swallowed at the growing lump in her throat and collapsed to the ground gazing at the foolish toy.

She sat on the floor for an hour before finally getting up to leave with the monkey still in her hand. She went back in her room and placed the monkey near her alarm clock, "I'm sorry Beastboy." She said to herself.

There was a bunch of annoying pounding on her door. But it wasn't Beastboy's. "Friend Raven, you must come quick. It is quiet urgent."

Raven wiped her eyes and opened the door as Starfire flew at her taking hold of her arm, Starfire then careened quickly down the halls into the Ops room.

Cyborg looked over his shoulder from the couch grinning, "Well, it looks like our little grass stain has made it in the big wide world."

Raven stared quizzically at him before flicking her eyes to the TV. She just about fainted. Beastboy was on the screen in some SCFI movie.

"Is this not most glorious?!" Starfire squealed, "He has found a most glorious job!"

Raven didn't answer, she just continued watching him, savoring the new, deeper, sound of his voice. He did look dorky but that's what made him seem so much like his old self. She choked on a new sob as she watched him at his station yelling over his shoulder as the ship flashed red.

Robin grinned from where he was at, "Well, at least we know he's all right."

Raven wanted to shake her head at Robin though. She knew he looked like a great actor and he was doing fine but something in his eyes told her otherwise. He was not happy. "Robin," Raven began, talking for the first time in minutes, "where is he at."

"Well, Hollywood, if he's movie star."

Raven knew what she had to do, all she had to do was wait till night where her friends would be asleep.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Raven got up around 12 a.m. and went to her closet to put on a pair of skinny jeans, black converse, and a black t-shirt. She then brushed her hair and grabbed the monkey holding it to her heart. She sat in the middle of her floor cross legged imagining Hollywood in her head. Seeing it, hearing the sounds, tasting the air. She had the picture and she held onto it with all her will.

She chanted her mantra and opened her eyes finding herself standing in the middle of a sidewalk while people stared at her. She looked up and saw the thing Hollywood was famous for.

She looked around at the people gathered around her like she was some freak show. "Please do any of you know where the actor Beas- Garfield Logan is?"

They talked amongst themselves as one young man stepped forward, "He doesn't tell anyone where he lives."

'Crap,' Raven thought to herself. 'This might take longer than I thought.' She thanked the guy and shot up into the air flying above all those surprised people, but she didn't care about them. She just needed to find him. To get him back, to tell him how she felt.

She cleared her mind to try and locate him through all the crowds of this place. After hours of searching she let out a sigh and floated back to the ground with no luck on finding him. She was tired but she refused to give up her search. She walked down the streets looking to the ground feeling like a failure.

"What if he's moved?" She asked herself. She then bumped into someone wearing a long black coat, "Uh, sorry."

Raven walked around the guy and continued on her way, "Raven?"

She froze. That new voice of his was unmistakable. She turned back around to look at who exactly she bumped into. It was, in fact, Beastboy. She put her hand to her mouth unable to speak as tears welled up in her eyes.

He walked to her a good 6 inches taller than her now, "What are you doing here?"

Raven searched his face as if the person in front of her wasn't actually Beastboy. She couldn't help herself, she jumped at him wrapping her arms around him breaking down in tears. "I'm sorry. I'm so, so sorry!"

Beastboy jumped but hugged her back. She listened to his heart and wanted to never let go of him and to stay in this moment forever.

"You don't know how much I hate myself for letting you go."

Beastboy stared at her, "Its fine Raven, don't beat yourself up. I found a job so it wasn't a total loss. Plus, I'm sure you guys are fine without me."

Raven shook her head in his shirt, "No, its not. I saw your movie Beastboy. I… You need to come back. PLEASE! It's not the same, it never was when you left. We can't take down the criminals as easily without you, walking by your room kills me. No one cheers me up like you used to, coming home doesn't feel like home because your not there."

Beastboy sagged a little, "I can't. And I told you that, it killed me living there." Raven looked up at him and he touched her hair that came just past her shoulders now, "I love what you did with your hair though." He then let go, "Nice seeing you." He turned around walking away as it started to rain.

Raven just stared at him and grew furious as the rain pelted her, "So that's just it?!"

Beastboy stopped not turning around, "What do you mean?"

"I come here to apologize and you still won't come back?" Raven looked at her hand and realized she was holding that stupid monkey. She clutched it tighter.

He faced her, "Raven, I didn't want an apology. I never did. The reason why I left was because I was a stupid kid. You helped me realize that. So I created a new life for myself and grew up."

Raven blinked back fresh tears, "Beastboy I never wanted that. When you left I realized so many things." She stepped to him, "One of things is that your childish humor was what helped me get up in the mornings. Helped me look forward to the day."

Beastboy looked off into the distance as he listened to her.

"Another thing is something I should've told you a year ago." She grabbed his face with her free hand, "And that is, is that I love you Beastboy."

He searched her face as if she was joking and then grinned that grin she knew so well. He reached for her face tucking a strand of hair behind her ear. She leaned into his touch looking up at him in a daze. Beastboy then leaned down to her connect their lips together.

She kissed him back as this new feeling opened up in her and the feeling of electricity flowed between them. He broke the kiss only to lean down and do it again. Raven dropped the monkey and wrung her hands in his green hair.

They stopped and Beastboy placed his lips next to her ear, "Let's go home."

She smiled at him and, picking up the monkey, she teleported them back to the tower were they would have to face their friends. But she didn't care just as long as she had him near she would be happy and content.