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The-Triforce-Kid β€” Corruption chapter.2 part.2 [NSFW]
Published: 2012-06-04 19:36:14 +0000 UTC; Views: 256; Favourites: 2; Downloads: 0
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Description Chapter 2, Part 2: River Wood Nightmare


When Roy and Zack woke up, they groaned in pain seeing it was dark. "Where did the light go?" Zack questioned while pulling out his lighter, looking around with the dim light. They looked around. "I'll go see if John's alright," Roy implied going off upstairs while Zack went to the living room.


When upstairs, Roy knocked on the door. "Mr Leopard?" he asked trying to get in the room. The door was jammed and he could hear a growling on the other side of the door. Roy got his cz75 handgun out. "Mr Leopard, I'm coming in," Roy said pulling out a bobby pin and beginning to pick the lock on the door. The second he heard a click he opened the door to the dark room. Entering inside with his cz75 drawn, he kept hearing the growling.


Roy flicked the light switch and nothing happened but a flicker. The flicker of the light revealed a horrific sight. It was a weird monster with red vine like hands, gouged out eyes and a ton of muscles showing from its body, like its flesh had been ripped off. It was on the bed growling, looking like it had a chain around its neck in place of where the ventilator was. Roy recognized it was John.


"What the… John?! What happened?!" Roy asked in shock, aiming his handgun at him. The flickering light made it hard to keep a sight on the monster that was John. The monster snarled, breaking the chains and charging at him. Roy looked in horror at the monster in the flickering light as he fired a bullet before it slammed him into the wall, knocking his cz75 from his hand. He groaned as the monster held him down and roared, about to kill Roy.


He closed his eyes and gulped, but then heard a sudden loud gunshot noise. He saw the monster's corpse lying on top of him. Roy groaned shoving it off, seeing it had a clean gunshot in the head. "You're lucky as hell to have me here," Zack replied as he helped him up. "What's going on here?" Roy asked terrified. "I don't know. All I know is the nurse was in just as bad a condition as John was," Zack responded.


They started to hear a loud siren coming from nearby. "What is that?" Roy questioned. "An alarm… usually it means to get to the safest area," Zack responded. They looked out the window, seeing tons of people rushing towards the huge church in the center of town. "Guess we're heading there" Roy said. Zack, however, noticed something. The house floorboard was turning to metal and everything was getting darker, the lights on the streets going out.


"Come on, we better double time it," Zack said rushing off with Roy following, while they ran for it. They could hear more groaning. They saw people on the streets being eaten by the monsters in the dark the ground behind them was turning to metal. "Come on, run, Adam!" Zack said, chuckling to Roy as he growled. "God damn it, you know I hate my last name!" Roy responded while they ran. They bolted into the church, the huge doors closing behind them.


End of Chapter 2, Part 2
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Comments: 29

horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-08 19:31:33 +0000 UTC]

Favorite part: The description of the John-monster.

I'm so sorry I didn't read your story chapters straightaway! I'm going to try and read them when I see them next time, not leaving them in the deviations part of my inbox unread!!!

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-08 19:35:56 +0000 UTC]

i actually got all of chapter 4 up today to so yeah haha many tanks

glad ya liked it

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horsewhisperer24 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-08 19:41:28 +0000 UTC]

Oh, okay~ I'll read them all!

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-08 19:46:03 +0000 UTC]

hope ya dont forget to comment haha tanks

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horsewhisperer24 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-08 20:19:57 +0000 UTC]

I'm sure I won't~

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-11 18:46:31 +0000 UTC]

ive gotten quite a few more chapters up now

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horsewhisperer24 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-24 01:23:13 +0000 UTC]

I noticed.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-24 01:35:48 +0000 UTC]

to be hoenst the whole stories finished an i got my next one started

youve missed a lot

lol

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horsewhisperer24 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-24 03:30:06 +0000 UTC]

*sigh* And I just went away for two weeks. ;^;

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to horsewhisperer24 [2012-06-24 03:33:55 +0000 UTC]

lol well have fun sorry for the disturbance

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horsewhisperer24 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-24 04:36:25 +0000 UTC]

No problem. I would read the rest anyway.

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ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-06 03:50:17 +0000 UTC]

Run Roy! Run Zack!

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-06 03:51:15 +0000 UTC]

haha i know right

favorite part?

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ShadowEevee128 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-06 04:03:18 +0000 UTC]

When Zack saved Roy's life.

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to ShadowEevee128 [2012-06-06 04:04:06 +0000 UTC]

haha many tanks glad you nejoyed it

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TeddyLama [2012-06-05 15:53:53 +0000 UTC]

Good chapter. Good Chapter indeed. It was very exciting, a lot of things happened, and it seems like the creepy stuff has just started up, which I find utmost pleasant >3
I think the effect that Roy just had a lighter to lighten up his path in this chapter, really was a great effect to make suspense, as, at least I, got a really clear picture of the mood in this chapter.
Also, when you wrote that Roy got his handgun out, I thought he was going to shoot open the door, where I then got a surprise when he what he did X3
My favorite part of this chapter must be the little dialog between Roy and Zack at the end, where Zack uses Roy's last name. I think this lightened up the mood a bit, and it made it more interesting than it had been had they jkust been running
This chapters, as the previous chapters, is really well written, and I can't say anything else than that you're really getting much, much better along these chapters !
But, there's a little thing: You mentioned the name of the gun Roy used a lot of times, which isn't wrong at all, but I don't think it's necessary. The name of the gun can be mentioned to identify it the first time it's presented, and then just like; His gun or something similar. This is up to you, of course, just something I thought about

But, all in all, really a remarkable job with this chapter !

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to TeddyLama [2012-06-05 16:03:17 +0000 UTC]

tanks a ton haha im glad ya liked it

and i know i was trying to be more descriptive with guns instead of just typing "he pulled out his handgun" and such to let people know the power an efficenacy of the guns (if they know the wepon at least)

tanks a ton

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TeddyLama In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-05 19:49:43 +0000 UTC]



Yeah, I understand, and that's really good But you might try to introduce it, then use some synonyms for it, perhaps? But It's nothing major, and It's up to the author

And still no problem

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LilyLupine64 [2012-06-05 03:30:10 +0000 UTC]

Ah, this reminds me of "The Wind's Echo of Fear", what with that bizarre monster that happened to be John! I liked how you took a page out of your own book and added a little bit of nostalgia to the chapter. Overall, I liked the way you described the monster/John. It really helped me to get a good idea of what he looked like in your own mind's eye. The other thing I liked about this chapter was when the civilians and the protagonists were all running to the church for safety, while being chased by more gruesome monsters. However, more mysteries have arisen. I wonder why the ground/floor was changing to metal? 8o I can't wait for the next part! 8D

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to LilyLupine64 [2012-06-05 03:37:29 +0000 UTC]

actually i was trying to make it seem what the evil world would do to change some people and the enviorment or things attached to them like how johns ventilator turned into a chain

and tanks a ton i gotta think hard headache starting to get monsters right in my head

an yep nostalgia trip for sure

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LilyLupine64 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-05 03:44:44 +0000 UTC]

Oh, well yes, that too was evident in the chapter! I'm sorry, I'm a little tired and I can't think of anything good to say right now.

And it was my pleasure to read it, no thanks necessary! 8D

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to LilyLupine64 [2012-06-05 03:47:19 +0000 UTC]

well hope your on daily to read em lol

tanks again

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LilyLupine64 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-05 03:49:48 +0000 UTC]

I'll try my best! 83

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to LilyLupine64 [2012-06-11 18:48:19 +0000 UTC]

ive gotten quite a lot more chapters up

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The-Irish-Clover [2012-06-04 19:37:08 +0000 UTC]

The part with the corrupted John was interesting. x3

Awesome chapter!

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to The-Irish-Clover [2012-06-04 19:42:55 +0000 UTC]

haha many tanks

glad ya liked it

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Aelita15 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-05 01:34:05 +0000 UTC]

omg i like how he yells at zack for using his l,ast name lol cant wait to read more

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The-Triforce-Kid In reply to Aelita15 [2012-06-05 01:38:26 +0000 UTC]

haha tanks aelita

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Aelita15 In reply to The-Triforce-Kid [2012-06-05 01:45:19 +0000 UTC]

lol its pretty funny.....

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