Comments: 51
thebalefulprimal In reply to ??? [2018-01-08 01:27:19 +0000 UTC]
I am honoured, thank you very much <3
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
magneticecho [2017-10-03 18:49:55 +0000 UTC]
Ahhhh I'm in love~
(I apologize for the tangent below, lol; there are many ways to look at this poem, many ways to interpret it, and I can agree with multiple wildly different interpretations, but I decided to look at it from a new side since I haven't seen anyone else in the comments present this perspective.)
I see something very peaceful in this. The first two lines paint a quiet picture for the rest of the poem to take place in, and it calms the chaos that the whole concept possesses. Yes, here we have the dismantling of nearly-ancient theological notions which used to bring comfort to many; here we have the harsh realization of the isolated singularity of the human condition; here we have a vision of how small and insignificant the timeline of humanity is, a blink of an eye, pitiful mortality; and here we have questions which bend the perimeters of truth & reality, just how immutably "present" we are or are not. Philosopher after philosopher after philosopher has paraded these ideas around with prideful severity, as if acknowledging what we are from a depressive angle somehow enlightens us.
But here, in these lovely 119 words, I don't sense mourning or self-congratulation for discovering & submitting to a darkness we all seem to be enveloped in. Instead, it feels like a transcendence of that darkness. To so boldly state that heaven & hell (and all that come with them, presumably) are constructs of mankind isn't new -- but you have made it seem new through this context, in the face of destruction, either by apocalypse or collective suicide, metaphorical or literal; and instead of being a defeat, it is an incredibly rational and wise step in the right direction. It's intellectual and spiritual progress. The idea of fate is destroyed by the self-responsibility adopted in the attitude of this poem, from my perspective. The fact (or... suggestion) that what we believe about the afterlife is false opens the door to the creation of a new afterlife. And what follows is the crumbling of a domino empire. The house of cards that god lives in flutters to the ground like leaves from tree limbs in the cold of November. And what will be build in its place? In other words, we have been boxed in by two opposite ideals -- the entrapments of religion, and the entrapments of opposition to it. By invalidating both extremes, the box opens, and we're no longer in the aforementioned darkness. Light spills in.
It's not a revolution or a rebellion because once we are free from ourselves, there are no more chains to break. It is a "train ticket to home" because we belong in the realm of open minds, with countless questions and no answers because that is where we flourish, unhindered, truly free. Home is where we are allowed to take those "small steps" and be a child, to dance in the openness and wonderment, filling in the blanks of universal incompleteness with our own thoughts and individuality, not needing a definition that everyone believes in, satisfied to see it our own way, which I think the sentence "Are you real? If you are, then I am" encapsulates. Home is where we need only our experience and perception of the world to define it, where we no longer doubt ourselves. Where heaven & hell being a construct of man is not frightening, but liberating; where we don't seek enlightenment, because we know that we don't need to be enlightened. "The screaming finally ceases," and now that we are no longer filling space with mindless sound, what are we going to construct in that blank-slate silence?
Anyway, that is just one way to see it. I'm tired of people being scared of the implications of nihilism. To say that everything is empty & meaningless and label that is a bad thing which is incompatible with human nature is putting us in a box just the same way as religion does. People tend to vacillate between different forms of intellectual self-imprisonment, and this poem -- to me -- is a magnificent way to combat that. Open-ends are beautifully optimistic, in my opinion. If nothing matters, then the fact that nothing matters also does not matter, and we shouldn't care -- there is nothing stopping us from letting things matter to us regardless.
I think this is genuinely one of the most beautiful poems I have ever read, and that's not an exaggeration. It's honestly remarkable. Very gracefully written, with an elegant yet piercing impact that won't be easily forgotten. The DD was very well-deserved. ♥
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thebalefulprimal In reply to magneticecho [2017-10-03 21:48:31 +0000 UTC]
Can I frame this somewhere, for real? This is probably one of the
most amazing pieces of feedback/analysis I have ever received in my
entire life. Are there DD awards for comments? Because this would take the cake.
I cannot put into coherent words how much this meant to me, for real. That you took
the time to write all that down is worth more than a king's ransom. Thank you so very
much for this. It opened my eyes to something new.
I'm not crying, you're crying.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
magneticecho In reply to thebalefulprimal [2017-10-04 23:47:12 +0000 UTC]
Omg I thought it was too much ahah. I'm glad it was an interesting contribution. But seriously, your poem is so beautiful, it deserves a lot of attention. It has so much intellectual value. My interpretation really doesn't do it justice compared to all the thoughts / philosophizing it prompts!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Ch-Ch-Cherry [2017-10-03 01:20:47 +0000 UTC]
magneticecho come look at this glorious poem and try to articulate your thoughts better than me, you're very good at analysis. Whereas I, in my easily-flabberbasted way, will just say yes. The other commenters have often quoted the final stanza, but I adore the fourth one: "Are you real? if you are, then I am." You have essentially summed up 85% of all human philosophy in two lines, and less than ten words. There is not an emoji fast enough for how I want to clap.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
magneticecho In reply to Ch-Ch-Cherry [2017-10-03 18:51:52 +0000 UTC]
This is probably one of my favorite poems now tbh
and look what u made me do lmao what a ramble
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
akrasiel [2017-10-02 23:25:04 +0000 UTC]
One of my favourites in your gallery too, funnily enough! You're very welcome!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
ZenMagus [2017-10-02 20:11:31 +0000 UTC]
you must first accept that heaven and hell
are not constructs of the world
but of mankind <--- couldn't agree more
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LovelyLiliss [2017-10-02 19:17:11 +0000 UTC]
congrats on the dd, it's well deserved!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
muzeam13 [2017-10-02 07:45:40 +0000 UTC]
We didn't create this shit ..it created us and we have to react....right. The white flag is peace and family. Us lost God's have to create it together...no one can be left straggling. Or we die by our own hand.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
TheWarOfTheRing [2017-10-02 00:39:51 +0000 UTC]
to conquer one's demons,
you must first accept that heaven and hell
are not constructs of the world
but of mankind.
This is brilliant and perfect and true.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ghettod887 [2017-10-01 18:25:45 +0000 UTC]
Sick. Deep and dark...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
LostGryphin [2017-10-01 13:36:07 +0000 UTC]
Amazing! I love your word choices - they are wisely chosen and descriptive. Congrats on the DD.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
EricVonSchweetz [2017-10-01 12:28:17 +0000 UTC]
Congratulations on the DD!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
RJBG [2017-10-01 11:55:40 +0000 UTC]
Excellent work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Amanda-Kulp [2017-10-01 11:28:36 +0000 UTC]
Wow, Seren! Congrats on the DD!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Freee-way [2017-08-25 04:55:23 +0000 UTC]
This is so cool! It feels like the words are being whispered into my ear ominously! Really powerful sound!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleyf [2017-07-31 10:01:33 +0000 UTC]
Thanks so much for sharing, and keep up the fantastic work.
From the admin of
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Sleyf [2017-07-21 13:44:55 +0000 UTC]
Very well writen, and the ending is actually extremely powerful. What a great poem!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
thebalefulprimal In reply to Sleyf [2017-07-21 16:05:08 +0000 UTC]
Thank you so much! I'm so pleased you enjoyed it ~
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
BATTLEFAIRIES [2017-07-18 16:17:40 +0000 UTC]
Ah, but this tickles my fancy! Well done, dear - well done
👍: 0 ⏩: 1