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Description
I decided to draw Edath because she is my "safe" OC when I don't know what to do. Also because she's the closest to me.

I have realized the reason I haven't felt as inspired as before comes from the fact that I am too rigorous. I love routines and hate changes, even though I know they are necessary and sometimes very welcome. I fear the unknown and the unpredictable.

These previous months where I haven't felt inspired coincide with a lot of change in my life, not only professionally but also emotionally. I put so much pressure on myself, trying to control everything and I'm so used to things being "exactly as they are supposed to" because otherwise consequences won't be nice. I could put the blame on working in research for so long and on my PhD which forces me to be 100% rigorous and right about everything. This definitely made me be less flexible and more upset when I had to deal with carefree people.

But in the end, I think this is part of me and my perfectionism.

I've been trying really hard to change, to be kind to myself, to embrace things that break the routine and allow things to go with the flow outside of my work (and my control). But it's not easy. I end up being to expectant of people and cling to what they were before. This is why I feel sort of "sad", for instance, when a friend of mine gets a new job and suddenly as less time and dedicates it to other things (ofc I'm happy for my friend, fyi).

It's like Keane's "Everybody's changing" song. I feel everyone and everything around me is changing and I feel confused of how I should feel... because I feel happy about it but I don't know where I stand anymore. I wish I was carefree, but I end up too attached to the past and to the good things that once existed and how things should be always the way they were supposed to. I know this isn't right, and I am a bit jealous of people that don't mind changing and being open to every new thing like a positive challenge.

Funny enough, I drew this with only two pens, so I couldn't "change" anything.

- COMMISSIONS INFO -

- OPEN ADOPTS -

PLAY MY GAME

Online Store
www.zazzle.com/store/kikkakiba…

If you like my work, consider buying me a Ko-fi
Or become a Patreon for only 2€ monthly

Follow me on other social media!

: www.facebook.com/kikkakibaz/

: www.instagram.com/kikkakibaz/ and www.instagram.com/arte_restart…

: www.youtube.com/channel/UCxspN…

Booksie: www.booksie.com/518768-l.-i.-e… (L.I.E.); www.booksie.com/612736-eler (ELER)

!! Disclaimer !!
I do not allow my art to be reposted anywhere unless I give permission for that!
I do not allow my art to be used in AI.
I do not sell my art as NFT's

Sharing my art in posts/journals is allowed as long as you credit me.

Description
I decided to draw Edath because she is my "safe" OC when I don't know what to do. Also because she's the closest to me.

I have realized the reason I haven't felt as inspired as before comes from the fact that I am too rigorous. I love routines and hate changes, even though I know they are necessary and sometimes very welcome. I fear the unknown and the unpredictable.

These previous months where I haven't felt inspired coincide with a lot of change in my life, not only professionally but also emotionally. I put so much pressure on myself, trying to control everything and I'm so used to things being "exactly as they are supposed to" because otherwise consequences won't be nice. I could put the blame on working in research for so long and on my PhD which forces me to be 100% rigorous and right about everything. This definitely made me be less flexible and more upset when I had to deal with carefree people.

But in the end, I think this is part of me and my perfectionism.

I've been trying really hard to change, to be kind to myself, to embrace things that break the routine and allow things to go with the flow outside of my work (and my control). But it's not easy. I end up being to expectant of people and cling to what they were before. This is why I feel sort of "sad", for instance, when a friend of mine gets a new job and suddenly as less time and dedicates it to other things (ofc I'm happy for my friend, fyi).

It's like Keane's "Everybody's changing" song. I feel everyone and everything around me is changing and I feel confused of how I should feel... because I feel happy about it but I don't know where I stand anymore. I wish I was carefree, but I end up too attached to the past and to the good things that once existed and how things should be always the way they were supposed to. I know this isn't right, and I am a bit jealous of people that don't mind changing and being open to every new thing like a positive challenge.

Funny enough, I drew this with only two pens, so I couldn't "change" anything.

- COMMISSIONS INFO -

- OPEN ADOPTS -

PLAY MY GAME

Online Store
www.zazzle.com/store/kikkakiba…

If you like my work, consider buying me a Ko-fi
Or become a Patreon for only 2€ monthly

Follow me on other social media!

: www.facebook.com/kikkakibaz/

: www.instagram.com/kikkakibaz/ and www.instagram.com/arte_restart…

: www.youtube.com/channel/UCxspN…

Booksie: www.booksie.com/518768-l.-i.-e… (L.I.E.); www.booksie.com/612736-eler (ELER)

!! Disclaimer !!
I do not allow my art to be reposted anywhere unless I give permission for that!
I do not allow my art to be used in AI.
I do not sell my art as NFT's

Sharing my art in posts/journals is allowed as long as you credit me.