HOME | DD

Description
Welcome to Tara's daily life at home. She doesn't need to do chores, since Professor Watts has a robot butler. Nope! She just has to test her dad's products before he sells them to the public. Yes, these tests are safe. Although her dad likes to screw around with her at times like this. And YES, this is his idea of father-daughter bonding time.

Being Tara is suffering sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean often.

--------------

(NOTE: All preliminary tests are carried out on a remote-controlled, non-sentient android. That helps iron out all of the safety issues before these products even touch human hands. And THEN, to test for marketability to the everyday average consumer, all consequent tests are carried out with the help of my lovable daughter, Tara Watts! She's adorable, yet mentally and physically normal in such a way that will ensure that if the product is sufficiently user-friendly and safe for her, most people should have no problem using it!

Without further ado, let us begin!)

Long Fall Boot

Function: These boots (that I plundered from a long-dead science corporation's labs, and improved) will protect the user from almost any kind of fall, short of burning up in reentry. Seriously. You could jump off the Empire State Building, jump off a plane, or skydive with no parachute, and guess what? The fall won't kill you! You will land on your feet literally every single time, unable to so much as break a bone in your body.

Test: Simple! I asked Tara to jump off a 1100m high platform, and attempt to land on her head. You know, try and split her noggin WIIIIIIDE open like a melon. The androids got through it without a scratch, so time to have it hold a human subject!

Result: After some encouragement (i.e. spring-loaded launch platform), she went soaring through the air, screaming all the way down! And, just like I told her, the boots totally saved her from the fall. I was gonna do a second test run, except she went to the bathroom to puke.

Muscle Memory Enhancement Machine

Function: This machine allows you to acquire new skills that would take years to learn, by way of simply allowing the machine to automatically cycle through a Regiment Sheet. Said Regiment Sheet is kind of like a musical sheet on a self-playing piano, telling the machine to manipulate your neurons in such a way that makes you perform a skill with expertise. When repeated, it allows the skill to be burned into the brain and muscle memory in little over a week! (WARNING: Electrodes tangle on clothes! Use the machine in your skivvies instead!)

Test: Tara's task this time was to plug the electrodes onto her skin, and not do ANYTHING. Don't think, don't lift her arms up, don't even look at the keyboard she's playing. Just let the machine puppeteer her, and repeat it a couple of times.

Result: After a few times of playing Axel F (NOT THE CRAZY FROG VERSION), she was asked to play it again with her eyes closed. Although the difference this time is that I removed the electrodes while she wasn't looking. And so, it turns out she's still able to play it by muscle memory! And then for the SECOND test...I had her dance to "Little Wooden Head" from Pinocchio. Comedy silver! Couldn't miss a chance like that, or I'd feel guilty about it later. Old habits die hard!

Grow-Your-Own Spongesaur

Function: This children's toy/pet hybrid is based off a sponge, placed with a rudimentary nanotech "nervous system". It can walk and move on its own! It can grow or shrink by absorbing or losing water! It doesn't need to subsist on anything other than water! There are no sharp ends on it, as they are entirely squishy and spongy! They can obey orders, but are so low-maintenance and low-functioning they're barely more intelligent or dangerous than a dish sponge! AND...they can spray a super-soaking jet of water as a fun little trick.

Test: All Tara has to do is observe the Spongesaur's behavior. She just has to play around with it for a bit, and issue spoken commands to it. And duly note if it tries to attack her in any way.

Result: It soaked up part of a large pool of water, yet it was still as docile as ever! When Tara commanded it to walk, it dragged its bloated, spongy mass across the floor like an elephant seal, trailing puddles of water wherever it went. Soaked up more water on the way, causing its face to start drooping, as it started to make bubbling noises. Next, had Tara squish one of its folds in her hands, causing her to get soaked in the process. And FINALLY...I had it spray Tara for funsies. Heheheh. The Spongesaur finally got dried off, while Tara got drenched, and needed a towel to dry off and change in the test-chamber's locker room.

Portable Holographic Interface

Function: This holographic interface is contained within the cylinder-shaped console. Simply tap the button on the side, and you have holograms which you can freely move around at your leisure! Up, down, left, right, behind you! It has performance capacities exceeding a regular laptop, and the adhesive pad on the surface below allows it to be placed onto virtually any solid surface. What's more, it's easy to learn for beginners, by simply tapping the question mark button, and allowing a tutorial to ensue.

Test: Eeeeeeeeh, this ain't nothing too special. She just has to browse the Internet for a bit, while I get the next test ready. And click on the question mark button to do the tutorial, or whatever.

Test Result: Whatever, it's a computer, it's user-friendly, it's marketable, let's move on now.

Omni-Car

Function: This vehicle allows for an incredibly wide range of travel across the Earth! It adjust its internal pressure automatically, so it can soar above the clouds, or even dive to the bottom of the sea! It can also drive across solid ground, faster than regular cars! It is equipped with magnetic benders, which repel other cars to prevent accidents, transparent metal windows to withstand extremes, AND an internal computer interface and tutor to allow first-time drivers to quickly get the hang of driving their new vehicle.

Test: Now THIS is fun! Now, Tara must drive the car and complete the obstacle course with it! First, she'll dive the car underwater and weave to avoid the sea mines I planted! THEN, she'll drive it up the ramp, out of the water, and weave forward again to avoid the leaping lightning rods that could shock the highly conductible water! THEN, she'll floor it, and jump through twenty hoops on fire! AND THEN--

Test Result: Bleeeeeeeeehh...my wife came in here and made me give her a regular driving test with no explosives. Thaaaaaaaaat ain't no fun at all. But neither is a night on the couch. SO, crossing that off my to-do list, and just doing the next test.

Gender-Bending Hormone

Function: This injectible hormone, based off of clownfish and wrasse DNA, allows a human body to change its biological sex within minutes. The transformation may be a tad painful, as your physical characteristics and gonads change according to how much of the hormone you pump into yourself. For example, a muscle-bound bodybuilder can turn into a busty, bleach-blond bombshell if he injects himself with enough hormone. After some time in cold water to get the pain off, you're a whole new person.

Test: Just lie on the operating table while I administer the hormone. Then, bathe herself in some ice to get rid of the ouchies, and then stand in the line while I run a scan to check off her physical changes.

Result: First of all, the shot itself didn't hurt. My anesthesia works wonders in that regard. However, what DID hurt was her entire body suddenly changing to become more mannish. Before long, she looked just like Ron Weasley. That is, like prime bully bait. No offense to her. Kinda gave me the impression that she probably needs to work out more, OR I should make an invention for that!

Exo-Self Printer

Function: This 3-D printer is modded to print synanotechnological clones of oneself. Each Exo-Self functions exactly like the original, but is autonomous, and can function on its own. However, through either telepathic connection or spoken word, it can follow commands from the original. And when you're done using them for the day, the Exo-Selves simply download their memories into you, while their body's matter is recycled by the machine for later use. With this, you can literally be in many places at once, and work multiple jobs with ease!

Test: Print herself out a couple of copies, and attempt to solve a teamwork puzzles. Specifically, splitting up into two groups of pairs, that each travel an obstacle course and push the buttons at the end to allow them to proceed.

Result: Success! Because the original was on the right track, the subsequent Exo-Selves all follow the same drive to pass the test. Because of this, they were able to cooperate easily with each other, even in instances where they were apart. Afterwards, the Exo-Selves downloaded their memories into the original Tara, allowing her to gain all memories of the test. Even the parts she wasn't there for.

Household Holodeck

Function: This digital console appears to be little more than a black box fixed to the wall in an empty room. Yet, when activated, it transforms the room into a black-and-yellow grid. A person needs merely to either use the black box to change the setting, or buy an officially produced disc from your local Techno-Watts store, and voila! As you move about in a stationary Explorer Circle, you can walk, run, jump, and explore while the environment around you is simulated to feel real to the core. As if Star Trek gets to have all the fun.

Test: I had her set the box to display planet Zorg. All the default settings were already on, so she just needed to record everything she sensed. She was also asked to equip her Long Fall Boots for this.

Result: She found herself much floatier because of the reduced gravity. She felt the desolate wind against her face, smelled the strangely sulfuric clouds, and ran across its craggy surface. It was almost exactly like being on another planet! She even jumped off a cliff to run alongside the river below. And eventually came out of the simulation upon happening across a lone Winged Zokk feading on the corpse of a Bloatoid. By that time, she claims it felt TOO real.

Nano-Salon Chair

Function: This chair and digital interface allows a person to fashion themselves in wildly different ways. They merely need to sit on the chair, and place the helmet-looking things on themselves, while having a digital pad in hand. With this pad, you can manipulate the machine to change your hair! You can make your hair grow longer, cut it shorter, change its color, and style it to your liking. And while you're at it, you can change the color of your very skin, into all sorts of colorful patterns! It costs a quarter of its original price when bought by barbers!

Test: Just sit in the chair, and lemme work my magic.

Result: Shadowy Black! Rainbow Sherbet! Checker Pattern! Hot Pink! Glowing Green! Gold! And uh...RAINBOW GRADIENT! And so testing was concluded for that day! ...and I sent her to school while still rainbow-colored. Heheh. Bet by some alien's standards, she's cussing like a sailor.

Description
Welcome to Tara's daily life at home. She doesn't need to do chores, since Professor Watts has a robot butler. Nope! She just has to test her dad's products before he sells them to the public. Yes, these tests are safe. Although her dad likes to screw around with her at times like this. And YES, this is his idea of father-daughter bonding time.

Being Tara is suffering sometimes. And by sometimes, I mean often.

--------------

(NOTE: All preliminary tests are carried out on a remote-controlled, non-sentient android. That helps iron out all of the safety issues before these products even touch human hands. And THEN, to test for marketability to the everyday average consumer, all consequent tests are carried out with the help of my lovable daughter, Tara Watts! She's adorable, yet mentally and physically normal in such a way that will ensure that if the product is sufficiently user-friendly and safe for her, most people should have no problem using it!

Without further ado, let us begin!)

Long Fall Boot

Function: These boots (that I plundered from a long-dead science corporation's labs, and improved) will protect the user from almost any kind of fall, short of burning up in reentry. Seriously. You could jump off the Empire State Building, jump off a plane, or skydive with no parachute, and guess what? The fall won't kill you! You will land on your feet literally every single time, unable to so much as break a bone in your body.

Test: Simple! I asked Tara to jump off a 1100m high platform, and attempt to land on her head. You know, try and split her noggin WIIIIIIDE open like a melon. The androids got through it without a scratch, so time to have it hold a human subject!

Result: After some encouragement (i.e. spring-loaded launch platform), she went soaring through the air, screaming all the way down! And, just like I told her, the boots totally saved her from the fall. I was gonna do a second test run, except she went to the bathroom to puke.

Muscle Memory Enhancement Machine

Function: This machine allows you to acquire new skills that would take years to learn, by way of simply allowing the machine to automatically cycle through a Regiment Sheet. Said Regiment Sheet is kind of like a musical sheet on a self-playing piano, telling the machine to manipulate your neurons in such a way that makes you perform a skill with expertise. When repeated, it allows the skill to be burned into the brain and muscle memory in little over a week! (WARNING: Electrodes tangle on clothes! Use the machine in your skivvies instead!)

Test: Tara's task this time was to plug the electrodes onto her skin, and not do ANYTHING. Don't think, don't lift her arms up, don't even look at the keyboard she's playing. Just let the machine puppeteer her, and repeat it a couple of times.

Result: After a few times of playing Axel F (NOT THE CRAZY FROG VERSION), she was asked to play it again with her eyes closed. Although the difference this time is that I removed the electrodes while she wasn't looking. And so, it turns out she's still able to play it by muscle memory! And then for the SECOND test...I had her dance to "Little Wooden Head" from Pinocchio. Comedy silver! Couldn't miss a chance like that, or I'd feel guilty about it later. Old habits die hard!

Grow-Your-Own Spongesaur

Function: This children's toy/pet hybrid is based off a sponge, placed with a rudimentary nanotech "nervous system". It can walk and move on its own! It can grow or shrink by absorbing or losing water! It doesn't need to subsist on anything other than water! There are no sharp ends on it, as they are entirely squishy and spongy! They can obey orders, but are so low-maintenance and low-functioning they're barely more intelligent or dangerous than a dish sponge! AND...they can spray a super-soaking jet of water as a fun little trick.

Test: All Tara has to do is observe the Spongesaur's behavior. She just has to play around with it for a bit, and issue spoken commands to it. And duly note if it tries to attack her in any way.

Result: It soaked up part of a large pool of water, yet it was still as docile as ever! When Tara commanded it to walk, it dragged its bloated, spongy mass across the floor like an elephant seal, trailing puddles of water wherever it went. Soaked up more water on the way, causing its face to start drooping, as it started to make bubbling noises. Next, had Tara squish one of its folds in her hands, causing her to get soaked in the process. And FINALLY...I had it spray Tara for funsies. Heheheh. The Spongesaur finally got dried off, while Tara got drenched, and needed a towel to dry off and change in the test-chamber's locker room.

Portable Holographic Interface

Function: This holographic interface is contained within the cylinder-shaped console. Simply tap the button on the side, and you have holograms which you can freely move around at your leisure! Up, down, left, right, behind you! It has performance capacities exceeding a regular laptop, and the adhesive pad on the surface below allows it to be placed onto virtually any solid surface. What's more, it's easy to learn for beginners, by simply tapping the question mark button, and allowing a tutorial to ensue.

Test: Eeeeeeeeh, this ain't nothing too special. She just has to browse the Internet for a bit, while I get the next test ready. And click on the question mark button to do the tutorial, or whatever.

Test Result: Whatever, it's a computer, it's user-friendly, it's marketable, let's move on now.

Omni-Car

Function: This vehicle allows for an incredibly wide range of travel across the Earth! It adjust its internal pressure automatically, so it can soar above the clouds, or even dive to the bottom of the sea! It can also drive across solid ground, faster than regular cars! It is equipped with magnetic benders, which repel other cars to prevent accidents, transparent metal windows to withstand extremes, AND an internal computer interface and tutor to allow first-time drivers to quickly get the hang of driving their new vehicle.

Test: Now THIS is fun! Now, Tara must drive the car and complete the obstacle course with it! First, she'll dive the car underwater and weave to avoid the sea mines I planted! THEN, she'll drive it up the ramp, out of the water, and weave forward again to avoid the leaping lightning rods that could shock the highly conductible water! THEN, she'll floor it, and jump through twenty hoops on fire! AND THEN--

Test Result: Bleeeeeeeeehh...my wife came in here and made me give her a regular driving test with no explosives. Thaaaaaaaaat ain't no fun at all. But neither is a night on the couch. SO, crossing that off my to-do list, and just doing the next test.

Gender-Bending Hormone

Function: This injectible hormone, based off of clownfish and wrasse DNA, allows a human body to change its biological sex within minutes. The transformation may be a tad painful, as your physical characteristics and gonads change according to how much of the hormone you pump into yourself. For example, a muscle-bound bodybuilder can turn into a busty, bleach-blond bombshell if he injects himself with enough hormone. After some time in cold water to get the pain off, you're a whole new person.

Test: Just lie on the operating table while I administer the hormone. Then, bathe herself in some ice to get rid of the ouchies, and then stand in the line while I run a scan to check off her physical changes.

Result: First of all, the shot itself didn't hurt. My anesthesia works wonders in that regard. However, what DID hurt was her entire body suddenly changing to become more mannish. Before long, she looked just like Ron Weasley. That is, like prime bully bait. No offense to her. Kinda gave me the impression that she probably needs to work out more, OR I should make an invention for that!

Exo-Self Printer

Function: This 3-D printer is modded to print synanotechnological clones of oneself. Each Exo-Self functions exactly like the original, but is autonomous, and can function on its own. However, through either telepathic connection or spoken word, it can follow commands from the original. And when you're done using them for the day, the Exo-Selves simply download their memories into you, while their body's matter is recycled by the machine for later use. With this, you can literally be in many places at once, and work multiple jobs with ease!

Test: Print herself out a couple of copies, and attempt to solve a teamwork puzzles. Specifically, splitting up into two groups of pairs, that each travel an obstacle course and push the buttons at the end to allow them to proceed.

Result: Success! Because the original was on the right track, the subsequent Exo-Selves all follow the same drive to pass the test. Because of this, they were able to cooperate easily with each other, even in instances where they were apart. Afterwards, the Exo-Selves downloaded their memories into the original Tara, allowing her to gain all memories of the test. Even the parts she wasn't there for.

Household Holodeck

Function: This digital console appears to be little more than a black box fixed to the wall in an empty room. Yet, when activated, it transforms the room into a black-and-yellow grid. A person needs merely to either use the black box to change the setting, or buy an officially produced disc from your local Techno-Watts store, and voila! As you move about in a stationary Explorer Circle, you can walk, run, jump, and explore while the environment around you is simulated to feel real to the core. As if Star Trek gets to have all the fun.

Test: I had her set the box to display planet Zorg. All the default settings were already on, so she just needed to record everything she sensed. She was also asked to equip her Long Fall Boots for this.

Result: She found herself much floatier because of the reduced gravity. She felt the desolate wind against her face, smelled the strangely sulfuric clouds, and ran across its craggy surface. It was almost exactly like being on another planet! She even jumped off a cliff to run alongside the river below. And eventually came out of the simulation upon happening across a lone Winged Zokk feading on the corpse of a Bloatoid. By that time, she claims it felt TOO real.

Nano-Salon Chair

Function: This chair and digital interface allows a person to fashion themselves in wildly different ways. They merely need to sit on the chair, and place the helmet-looking things on themselves, while having a digital pad in hand. With this pad, you can manipulate the machine to change your hair! You can make your hair grow longer, cut it shorter, change its color, and style it to your liking. And while you're at it, you can change the color of your very skin, into all sorts of colorful patterns! It costs a quarter of its original price when bought by barbers!

Test: Just sit in the chair, and lemme work my magic.

Result: Shadowy Black! Rainbow Sherbet! Checker Pattern! Hot Pink! Glowing Green! Gold! And uh...RAINBOW GRADIENT! And so testing was concluded for that day! ...and I sent her to school while still rainbow-colored. Heheh. Bet by some alien's standards, she's cussing like a sailor.