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TobiasRoetsch — Occidens
Published: 2013-03-23 16:19:17 +0000 UTC; Views: 24680; Favourites: 823; Downloads: 1628
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New little dual screen wallpaper for your personal screens. Different sizes can be downloaded here: gtgraphics.dewww.gtgraphics.de
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Comments: 54
Firstly, I am glad to see another piece from you Tobias. Now to begin a critique, I should like to emphasise my broad message about the piece. Simplicity is always a good ideal, but I feel like this piece does not reach your potential. Not to say that it needs to be more complicated. Rather, I think it could be further crafted with your abilities. There are some clever ideas in this piece in any case, though. You may be aware of all this, but as you have critiques enabled, I take it you won't be unhappy with some (hopefully) helpful feedback. I shall address the following in sequence: (1) vision, (2) originality, (3) technique. Impact in my mind is a product of all of the aforementioned issues (vision, originality, technique).
Concerning vision, which I'll interpret to be how you've given compositional form to an idea, there are positives and negatives. The variation on the 'red, green and blue' colour scheme is alright, but not totally convincing. I can see that the blue flare mimics the planetary blue atmosphere and the far off nebula, while the green and red-orange seem to indicate the 'dark-sides' of the planet and moon respectively. Other than eye-appeal, I find only the blue compositionally interesting since it moves from foreground to background (from the flare to the nebulae). The other colours feel disconnected with any greater compositional form. Maybe if the green replaced the red-orange or vice-versa, there would be greater unity in idea? That is, a single colour would then be representing back-lighting of the moon and planet. Additionally, you could add a third instance of this colour. We have three instances of the blue colour: nebulae, planetary atmosphere, flare. So, for example, you could have orange-red aurorae, orange-red back-lighting to the moon, and perhaps a lava flow. That would be far more compositionally interesting. Then again the orange-red is already used to highlight cities in this piece, it could be argued. So we could have the lava-flow and the city-lights to balance the piece: 3 instances of blue, 2 of orange-red and 1 of green. That might work, but I feel like the green colour would be too lonely, being a mere place-holder choice. So I'd lean towards the former suggestion of 3 blue and 3 green or orange-red coloured components of the composition. Now concerning a different part of the visionary composition, we have two planets and a moon, or a planet and two moons. It seems to me that the moon (foreground) and some planet is fine here, but the other planet (whichever one doesn't seem to matter) doesn't do much in the composition. In other words, it seems like a stock-standard space art choice to throw in another planet. Doing something interesting with the extra planet/moon, or dropping it completely, would seem wiser, then. On the topic of excess objects, I am not seeing the point of the gate on the foreground moon. Again it seems like mere instant eye-appeal. I can see a suggestion of perhaps, an entrance into the city-worlds of the planet. But that idea isn't emphasised enough I think. Maybe some other feature could enhance that idea if you wanted that. For example, a massive city centre just behind that gate. Problem would be whether this unbalances the piece or not. Another criticism is to be made about the star-field: it seems haplessly distributed. More selective use, perhaps at the expense of 'realism', could make for a stronger art-work.
In terms of originality, quite a few pieces have a foreground moon, an astronaut, flares, aurorae, planets (indeed the one-too-many planet). I don't readily recall this orientation of foreground moon arching towards the viewer with a gate, so that's a plus. Otherwise I don't see anything original here. Actually, working on the vision as suggested before, would boost the originality already.
As to the technique, I also think it has some clear issues, though it's not all bad. The moon terrain in general is convincing, though some parts seem rather sloppy. The gate for example, seems to have been erased with a hard edge, far too artificially. Especially unconvincing to the right. Likewise for the nebulae to the far left, there appears to be some harsh cut-off between the coloured zones. I think a little more nuance in these light-dark, green-blue cut-off areas of the nebulae would help it excel. The use of colour in this piece, on the other hand, is good. The reflection of the green aurorae on the two planets (so I will call them) is well done. The faint orange-red and blue reflected on the foreground moon is nice too, including its apparently different manner of reflecting due to its different material composition. Nicely done. The planetary texture are alright, though nothing stands out in particular (this criticism could partly be filed under vision). The star-field is fine though again with vision, I think it doesn't stand out; it's somewhat bland in how it is distributed. I am also unsure about the perspective of the astronaut, though the flare is fine, I wonder whether it could be more obviously affecting the scenery. Perhaps if it more clearly reflected on the surroundings, rather than giving off a faint glow, it would be more convincing. A final criticism on technique concerns the right part of the main planet's atmosphere-to-texture-map zone. There seems to be some jagged compression of some sort, which looks bad.
Wrapping up, I'm glad you've made another piece and look forward to more. On the other hand I would be delighted if, as I know you can, you crafted your future pieces more carefully. A bit more attention to technique, but more importantly to vision, is required. Originality will improve with better vision already, but I think vision comes first since a good piece is better than an original yet bad piece. Once you've got things on the right track, branching out into new approaches to scenes will bring about greater originality.
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What an epic view! 
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klasjugftoaihgtoishtolikawjflzskjrlkqj59823749823u498237598jsjtolsjfoij
(I'm a little fuzzy from passing out.)
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a lot of curves in the composition, and colors, great piece.
I really like the detail on the planet (both).
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Once again you are totally 'Out There' amongst the stars!
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Hey Hey mate, another brilliant work!
Love love love!
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It's like being on the moon with a fisheye lens.
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mit so knallharter Kritik hatte ich (glücklicherweise) noch nicht das Vergnügen. Aber allein von Lobdudelei wird man ja nicht besser.
Ich finde es wie immer sehr gelungen, schöne Farben und die Textur gefällt mir.
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danke dir 
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ach naja, über die Farben mach ich mir oft auch nicht wirklich viele Gedanken. Aber war definitiv mal interessant und wird mich vielleicht auch dazu anregen, mir in Zukunft einen tiefgründigeren Sinn zu überlegen.
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dat critique
.. solid work as always my space addicted friend, love your use of lighting and colors, you have such a natural flair for creating beautiful space scenes
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Great work.
I will contribute my critique tomorrow morning, kinda late now, but I'd rate this between a 3.5-4.25/5 as in Great.
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Mate, it's ALWAYS a pleasure to see another of your superb works, and this continues your high standards. Makes me wish I had dual screens... 
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Looking at this piece, I feel the sensation that you could jump from one planet and land on the other (with a splat mind you).
With planets in this close a proximity, do you think that gravity gets more warped? It's kind of a cool thing to think about (and somewhat terrifying). Very pretty.
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Is this guy writing a book or critique? xD Firstly, I think this piece holds its merits in many ways. Truthfully, am not going to seat here and tell you where you fail. Space is a very strange and wonderful place where conventional physics go out the window. Not to mention none of us have travel through it. Yeah. So in that same note that's why its called artistic representation of what might be instead of what truly is.
There are fantastic space artist here on DA that if you ever happen to glance through their gallery you will see that is merely representations of space.
By the way beautiful work. Thank you for the share.
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thanks for your thoughts
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Also ich finds richtig gut!
Es ist halt mal nichts zu besonderes, sieht aber total gut aus.
Grade auch die orangen muster auf dem planeten, mir fällt grade auf wie viel langweiliger das bild ohne sie wäre, und die felswand rechts.
Wo bekommst du denn solche bilder her?
Das einzige was mich etwas stört ist dieser signalpistolenschuss. Ich denke ohne den wärs besser.
Aber egal, ist auch nur ne kleinigkeit, mach weiter so!
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When i get my 2500x1080 monitor this will be my new wallpaper. Great work
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Amazing as always, love the perspective! I'm always amazed at the level of detail! How do you do it?!
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thank you
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Welcome :d, I still don't know how you get the textures for the planets and stuff. Do you paint them by hand? Because I always photo manipulate them, and they turn out crap xD. As for the nebula, do you paint that too?
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