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Description
When you're in trouble, WHO DO YOU CALL? Certainly not the Squirts of Power, unless you want to make things worse.

Before "True Believers" there was Squirts of Power, a one-shot that ran on my site in 2003 and was about the type of children superheroes might have.

CHUCK SUMMERS: Son of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. As you might expect from such a self-destructive genetic combination, Chuck is prone to fits of total annihilation of the area around him. He's allergic to a lot of things, and whenever he sneezes he unleashes a giant explosion.

BEN, MAY, AND JEFF PARKER: Children of Peter Parker and Mary Jane. Unfortunately, but fully expectedly, Spider-Man's half-spider DNA resulted in some pretty hideous half-spider children. They each have some of his powers, and some he didn't manage to get: Ben is the first member of the family to finally be able to organically shoot webbing. Unfortunately it's out his butt.

BIFF CASTLE: Son of the Punisher. The bully of the gang, he constantly roughs up and harasses the other children with little remorse.

CHERILYN BANNER: Daughter of the Hulk, but the trait was recessive. She'll warn people that "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry," but whenever she does, something very anticlimactic happens, like she just gives the other person a lecture or a paddling on the behind.

KID FLASH: Lazy, gluttinous, plump, and willing to do anything to avoid work. About as unspeedy as it gets.

SILVIA: Daughter of Spawn and Brady Bunch actress Florence Henderson. It's best not to think about it.

WOLVERINE'S DAUGHTER (not pictured): Only seen for two panels, and not really given a proper name. It's revealed she has claws, and Chuck points out "how can she have those if Wolverine only has them because they were implanted in him, and his real power is instant healing?" Biff replies, "Shut up."

BABY THOR: Kinda self-explanatory. Talks with the deep voice of Brad Garrett.

SISTER MARY BETH TUNAFISH: The nun in charge of the secret daycare that takes care of super-offspring while their parents are off fighting crime. She can fly, by the way.

SUPERMAN'S SON: Never given a name either, Superman's kid was the antagonist of the story in Squirts of Power. He arrived mid-day as the latest member and immediately took over the daycare with his goody-goody principles and long-winded speeches, despite being only two years old. As long as he was there, none of the other children would be able to get away with anything, but every plan they tried to get rid of him backfired, as he was nigh-indestructible.

To find out how it's all resolved, you'll want to pick up "The Huge Book of Keiki," the fifth Platypus Comix book collection, on sale next week!

Description
When you're in trouble, WHO DO YOU CALL? Certainly not the Squirts of Power, unless you want to make things worse.

Before "True Believers" there was Squirts of Power, a one-shot that ran on my site in 2003 and was about the type of children superheroes might have.

CHUCK SUMMERS: Son of Scott Summers and Jean Grey. As you might expect from such a self-destructive genetic combination, Chuck is prone to fits of total annihilation of the area around him. He's allergic to a lot of things, and whenever he sneezes he unleashes a giant explosion.

BEN, MAY, AND JEFF PARKER: Children of Peter Parker and Mary Jane. Unfortunately, but fully expectedly, Spider-Man's half-spider DNA resulted in some pretty hideous half-spider children. They each have some of his powers, and some he didn't manage to get: Ben is the first member of the family to finally be able to organically shoot webbing. Unfortunately it's out his butt.

BIFF CASTLE: Son of the Punisher. The bully of the gang, he constantly roughs up and harasses the other children with little remorse.

CHERILYN BANNER: Daughter of the Hulk, but the trait was recessive. She'll warn people that "you wouldn't like me when I'm angry," but whenever she does, something very anticlimactic happens, like she just gives the other person a lecture or a paddling on the behind.

KID FLASH: Lazy, gluttinous, plump, and willing to do anything to avoid work. About as unspeedy as it gets.

SILVIA: Daughter of Spawn and Brady Bunch actress Florence Henderson. It's best not to think about it.

WOLVERINE'S DAUGHTER (not pictured): Only seen for two panels, and not really given a proper name. It's revealed she has claws, and Chuck points out "how can she have those if Wolverine only has them because they were implanted in him, and his real power is instant healing?" Biff replies, "Shut up."

BABY THOR: Kinda self-explanatory. Talks with the deep voice of Brad Garrett.

SISTER MARY BETH TUNAFISH: The nun in charge of the secret daycare that takes care of super-offspring while their parents are off fighting crime. She can fly, by the way.

SUPERMAN'S SON: Never given a name either, Superman's kid was the antagonist of the story in Squirts of Power. He arrived mid-day as the latest member and immediately took over the daycare with his goody-goody principles and long-winded speeches, despite being only two years old. As long as he was there, none of the other children would be able to get away with anything, but every plan they tried to get rid of him backfired, as he was nigh-indestructible.

To find out how it's all resolved, you'll want to pick up "The Huge Book of Keiki," the fifth Platypus Comix book collection, on sale next week!