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TorrynWoodsrunner — A.I.D.A. - Part I
Published: 2008-02-15 23:31:01 +0000 UTC; Views: 1828; Favourites: 20; Downloads: 54
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*bzzzzzt...bzzzzzt...bzzzzt...*C'mon, c'mon...I ain't got all day...
*bzzzzt...bzzz*CLICK!*
"Thank you for calling GLOBE Cybernetic Systems technical support. Your call will be answered in the order it was received, and may be monitored for quality control or training..."
Oh frak, I gotta hold??? This is freakin nuts...
"...estimated wait time is approximately three minutes. Please stay on the..."
Three minutes??? Geez, what, they go for coffee or sumthin?
"...for calling GCS tech support, my name is Rachel, may I have your contract number please?"
Huh? Wha...oh, finally a freakin person! My damn robot is broke!
"May I have your contract number please?"
Can I get this freakin robot fixed?
"I need your contract number, please, sir."
What the hell for?
"To pull up your information, and better assist you, sir."
Oh, what the freak ever...hang on...I got it here somewhere...
"If you like, you can call back.."
DON'T you hang up this phone! I'm not callin' back, I'm not sittin on freakin hold again...you just freakin wait!
"Of course sir...take your time."
Stupid freakin tech support...stupid freakin paperwork...(papers shuffling)...repo notices...roto-rooter...ah, here, robots...I got it.
"Go ahead then, sir."
Like I told ya, my freakin robot is broke, and I need a tech out here to fix the freakin thing...how many times I gotta freakin tell ya this?
"No...sir, the contract number....please."
Oh fer freaks sake, are you people useful at all? Freakin waste of time...contract number...you ready?
"Yes, sir. I'm right here."
General Warehouse & Dock Services, contract GCS-02-07734...there...ya freakin got that?
"Yes sir, pulling it up now...and your name sir?"
Mickey Finnigan, dock foreman...like you freakin need ta know that.
"Ok, Mr. Finnigan, I have your information here now...what seems to be the problem?"
What have I already freakin told you three times? My...robot...is...broke. Are you deaf, or just freakin stupid?
"I'm sorry, sir. Could you be a little more specific as to the nature of the problem?"
Oh freakin A already...the stupid bot ain't moving. It just freakin sittin there.
"Ok...let's back up. What was the last thing your unit was doing before this malfunction?"
*sigh* Unloadin a freakin truck. Like the twelve others I gotta get unloaded, that I can't, because she's freakin broke!
"I'm sorry...this is an IT-A-02 model, correct?"
I don't freakin know! She's got a big freakin two on her head, and she's freakin broke...that's what I know.
"Mr. Finnigan, you're aware that the 02 Series is a general purpose android, and isn't designed for heavy load-lifting or extreme conditions. This is detailed in your user's manual. Using the 02 Series in a manner it isn't designed for can void your..."
You say 'void the freakin warranty' and I'll reach through the phone and choke you, you freakin hear me? She my freakin bot, I know how she freakin works. Only now she don't freakin work...she's sittin in the freakin yard, starin at a freakin bug. Now get a damn tech out here!
"I'm sorry, she's doing what?"
Staring...at...a freakin...BUG.
"So she's still online?"
Yeah, she's freakin online, she's just not doin anything! She's sittin there with a freakin bug in her hand!
"And have you tried the voice override, or the manual programming port located beneath her..."
Yeah yeah yeah, I did all that freakin stuff...it didn't freakin work. Now will you get a freakin tech out here or what?
"Alright sir, one moment...(keys clicking)...I have you scheduled, Mr. Finnigan, for first thing Monday morning."
MONDAY!?! It's freakin FRIDAY!
"Yes sir, and it's after 5pm. The earliest I can have a tech there is 6am Monday morning."
What am I supposed to do with these freakin trucks!?!
"Well sir, as the 02 Series isn't, as you know, used for such labor, I don't see where that should affect you. Is there anything else I can help you with today?"
But I...these freakin...twelve...I gotta?...No.
"Very good sir. Thank you for calling us, please don't hesitate to call back if there are any other problems."
Yeah, but what about...
"Have a good weekend." *CLICK*
Awww, freakin crap....ROCKY!!! Get off yer ass and find the damn forklifts...we gotta get these freakin trucks unloaded ourselves!
Whaddya mean dead batteries!?! Awwwwwwww CRAP!!!
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Comments: 5
It is interesting what you say about the spellchecker because when I have (politely!) pointed out other people's spelling mistakes, they say that dA does not have one!
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Actually, from what I've seen, dA doesn't have one. But I have a tendency to write these stories in Notepad (though I've changed over to Word lately), then I copy & paste here to avoid timing out...it's a habit I've picked up from my forum posting.
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Habits, habits... we all have them! Don't worry about your spellling of the odd word - when I was at school (over 30 years ago!) my English teacher gave our class this piece of advice: "If you can't spell a long word, think of a shorter equivalent. If you can't spell the shorter equivalent, think of an even shorter word.... And if you can't spell THAT, change the context"!
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Nice, but this is how you spell "received". In what year do you think this will be reality? I reckon about 30 years from now.
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Thanks, I knew I forgot to run this through the spellchecker...
30 years? That may be a little too close...but then, no one expected there to be a computer in almost every household by now either.
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