Comments: 9
JuniXz [2011-04-18 22:13:02 +0000 UTC]
I really like it, but it kind of seems rushed... however it's just the introduction so. lD I don't even really know if I should critique this.
Are you going to be posting a chapter?
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twilight-traveler In reply to JuniXz [2011-04-18 22:20:01 +0000 UTC]
Yeah, it's just someone telling a story right now, just to set the mood. You can point out whatever you see wrong. I'd love some criticism.
Yeah, maybe today.
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MarvelPoison [2011-04-18 22:10:15 +0000 UTC]
Oooh, I am intrigued~ *strokes invisible beard*
Though I'm going to be a bitch and give some advice my hated English teacher gave me - don't write like you talk.
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twilight-traveler In reply to MarvelPoison [2011-04-18 22:20:36 +0000 UTC]
I'm glad. ^-^
Don't worry, I love advice, and this actually is someone telling a story, so it's kinda justified.
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