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Description
She has been wandering about the Lotus Woods for so long she didn't think she would get out, but as the dawn finally comes she suddenly finds herself along a solid path that will hopefully lead her out of these words. She can make out a windmill in the horizon ahead, she must be getting somewhere.

Morning has come at last, and wouldn't you know it the first thing Alice comes across this day is a massive long table covered with tea pots, tea cups and other such dishes and utensils. Some have servings of fruit and sweets. At one end there are two very strange characters sleeping in their chairs. One is a lanky looking fellow in a weird untidy suit with un-kepted hair and a rather distinguishable pointy nose, a rather freakish looking top hat covers his eyes as he snores away. Next to him in another chair, Alice cannot make this person out for sure mostly cause of the giant tea pot covering this person's head, a furry looking person at that who is without clothes save for a suit jacket, no doubt an animal of sorts.

Alice;
"Curious-er and curious-er."

She approaches the table most curiously, then as she reaches the table there is a small little bell on the table with the words "party time" engraved on it. Alice is not sure what to make of it but decides to pick it up and give it a ring. She never expected that little bell to suddenly have that lanky fellow leaping right out of his deep sleep, she is rather nervous at the way he takes notice of her and looks at her from afar like a deer who's on alert.

Mad Hatter;
"Oh my!"

He then launches himself out of his chair and onto the table, quickly trodding across the table in a most hectic manner. He reaches the other end of the table and now hovers over Alice, looking down right at her with curious eyes of his own. Then he has a happy grin on his face.

Mad Hatter;
"What be this now? A guest to our tea party? How most delightful! Hey Usagi!"

He calls out to the other individual that had been sleeping next to him. But that individual would not respond.

Mad Hatter;
"Hey Usagi! Wake up!"

He grabs a saucer and flings it right into the tea pot atop that furry person's head, it hits right on target but does nothing.

Mad Hatter;
"Get your hairy arse up you mangy Hare you! We have a guest!"

Alice;
"That person is a Hare?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh nevermind her for now. Might I ask who you are? It is customary to introduce yourself at each gathering^-^."

Alice;
"Oh, right. My name is Alice Kingsleigh. Please to meet you."

Mad Hatter;
"What a lovely name. I have a lovely name myself but sadely everyone just call me the Hatter. You may as well I suppose."

Alice;
"Why, because you wear that mad looking hat?"

Mad Hatter;
"Most everyone wears a hat my dear. Actually because I make hats, a rather slow trade but a trade none the less."

Alice;
"Well I guess that leaves that Hare, who is she?"

And just like that, the Hatter is suddenly kicked out of the way by the hairy person, she is suddenly wide awake and now wearing that giant tea pot like a hat. She then does a silly little pose like some sort of heroic figure twirling a big spoon like a baton.

March Hare;
"They call me Usagi the March! Pretty Soldier of Love and Happiness!"

Alice;
"Okay..."

Mad Hatter;
"You mangy little...I knew you were faking it!"

Alice;
"Usagi the March? What a curious name."

March Hare;
"It's Japanese (or is it Chinese?) Oh nevermind, it is another more adorable word for 'Bunny Rabbit' which is what I am, a cute adorable fuzzy wuzzy little Bunny Rabbit^-^."

Alice;
"But, you're not a Rabbit, you're a Hare."

The Hare looks rather shocked to hear that, she then starts to get teary eyed and pouty until she then shoves the tea pot down over her head and proceeds to stomp around on the table in a small circle just outright raving like a lunatic.

March Hare;
"BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY!!! I AM A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!!! I know I am, I must be! Why would I have a cute little cotton tail and adorably long ears if I wasn'tT-T?! BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY!!!"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh now you've gone and done it."

Alice;
"What did I do?!"

Mad Hatter;
"She may be a Hare but in all honesty she hates being one, she always dreamed of being a Rabbit so much it has made her delusional. You better apologize quick, she's going to break the table in two if this keeps up."

Alice;
"I'm......I'm sorry Ms. Usagi, I didn't mean to upset you."

Mad Hatter;
("Say she's such a lovely bunny rabbit, it'll shut her up for sure.")

Alice;
"And I think you're such a lovely bunny rabbit, honest!"

The Hare then stopped with it's temper tantrum, taking off the tea pot and tossing it aside. She then gives Alice a hug.

March Hare;
"Apology accepted, you're only human^-^."

Alice;
"Right-_-."

Mad Hatter;
"Well nevermind that, let's get on with the tea."

March Hare;
"Yay! Tea time!"

Mad Hatter;
"Come sit with us Alice, you look like you could use a moment of rest."

Alice;
"Well I have been walking for quite a good while, trying to catch up to the White Rabbit."

March Hare;
"Huh? You're looking for the White Rabbit?"

Alice;
"You know him?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh yes, most definetely. He's always coming and going on that contraption of his, always keeping up with his schedule. A very punctual fellow he is."

March Hare;
"What business have you with him anyway?"

Alice;
"I met him a day ago and he invited me to follow him, I'm curious as to where he is going."

Mad Hatter;
"I see. I've never known the White Rabbit to invite others to follow him. He moves so swiftly no one can seem to keep up."

March Hare;
"Especially since he got that stupid wheel of his! Not even I am able to keep up with him! Stupid overrated steampunky hunk of junk>_
Mad Hatter;
"Alice would you like some sugar in your tea?"

Alice;
"Why yes please."

March Hare;
"Are you sure? Because sugar costs a kiss^-^."

The Hare just said that so playfully and so coy.

Alice;
"Is that true?"

Mad Hatter;
"Just a harmless little kiss, you can have all the sugar you want^-^."

Alice;
"Well, okay."

He was expecting just a simple peck on the cheak, completely harmless. But before he knew it, Alice had placed her hands on both sides of his face and placing her own lips against his. Bewildered and utterly confused was he as she gave him a kiss almost like they were lovers. And the she stopped, backing away leaving him with his confusion. She did not look like she enjoyed doing that at all which only confounded Hatter even more.

Alice;
"Ummm, was that okay?"

Mad Hatter;
"Uhhh, well, uhhh...yes but...why so enthusiastic?"

Alice;
"Well I've been told that when a man asks for a kiss from a lady that a lady should kiss them like a lover would."

He did not like the sound of that at all, who would tell a young girl like Alice to be so forward like that when a man asks for a kiss? It disturbed him so, like maybe there was something seriously wrong with her, some psychological screw loose in that head of hers. It's no wonder she's even in this place among mad people. He just gives her some sugar and then turns to March Hare who was just as taken back by that disturbing moment...

Mad Hatter;
"Usagi I have an excellent idea! Let's change the subject!"

March Hare;
"Uh, yeah! A most excellent idea indeed! I got just the thing!"

She reaches out towards a most peculiar teapot on the table. With a small taping with a spoon on the pot, a mouse pops out from within the teapot. A most peculiar creature indeed, it didn't look like a mouse so much as a humourous charicature of one. As with many creatures in this world it too was dressed up, a top hat and cane to go with its suit.

March Hare;
"Hello little Dormouse^-^!"

Dormouse;
"Moneh? Moneh?"

March Hare;
"Do you have a little song for us today?"

Dormouse;
"Moneh-Moneh!"

It then hops down from atop the tea pot, it now stands on the table ready to do a dance of sorts. And then, it sings.

Dormouse;
"Excalibuuuuuuur,
Excalibuuuuuur,
From the United Kingdom,
I'm looking for Heaven,
I'm going to Californiaaaaa,
Excalibuuuuuur,
Excalibuuuuuur,
EXCALI-BUR!"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh bother not that annoying thing-_-."

March Hare;
"Hey I like that song^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"What was wrong with 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat'? That one is more appropriate for a tea party."

Dormouse;
"Moneh-Moneh, Moneh-Moneh!"

Mad Hatter;
"What? What do you mean it's a stupid old man's song?"

Alice did not seem to be responding at all to the silliness. They thought for sure she'd at least crack a smile but from her very aura they felt something was wrong with her indeed.

Mad Hatter;
"Say Alice my dear, I got a riddle for you."

Alice;
"A riddle? I like riddles."

March Hare;
"Oooh then you'll love this one^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"Yes indeed. *ahem* Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?"

Alice did not know what he was talking about, it almost seemed like a riddle with no answer just so he can pull her leg. But then she gave it a moment's reflection, she then came up with a rather gloomy answer.

Alice;
“Both lead to the writing of depressing thoughts,”

Mad Hatter;
“Pardon me?”

March Hare;
“Ummm, I don’t get it.”

Alice;
“The Raven by itself inspires depressing thoughts, a Writing Desk is where you write down your thoughts, depressing or otherwise. So both lead to writing down depressing thoughts.”

They were just stunned by how blatantly depressing her answer was, it was a right answer sure but still it was just gloomy.

Mad Hatter;
“Ummm, well…that’s a good answer young Alice. Very good answer indeed <_<, >_>.”

March Hare;
“Alice if you don’t mind I would like to have a minute with Hatter here^-^.”

Alice;
“That’s alright.”

Both the Hatter and Hare head around to one end for a little pow wow, strategizing on what they should do next.

March Hare;
(“This isn’t working! She’s still quite gloomy!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“I can clearly see that Usagi.”)

March Hare;
(“I can’t believe that stupid riddle didn’t work!")

Mad Hatter;
("I can't believe the Dormouse didn't work!")

March Hare;
("She's more gloomy than a Jubjub Bird! What the bloomin’ hell are we going to do?!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“Unbirthday.”)

March Hare;
(“Unbirthday? Come on she isn’t gonna go for that nonsense!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“You got any better ideas?”)

March Hare;
(“…...no…...”)

Mad Hatter;
(“I’ll go first.”)

March Hare;
(“Please do.”)

They break apart and head back around Alice, their plan put into action.

Mad Hatter;
“Y’know something, I just remembered, it's Usagi's unbirthday today!"

March Hare;
"REALLY?! IT'S IT'S MY UNBIRTHDAY TODAY?! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! CALLOOH CALLAY! MY UNBIRTHDAY IS TODAY! CALLOOH CALLAY! HORRAY HORRAY^-^!"

Mad Hatter;
("Over acting much-_-?")

March Hare;
("Shut up>_<.")

He then reaches into his hat and pulls out a humble cake with frosting on it. The March Hare just brightened up when she saw it.

Mad Hatter;
"And a very merry unbirthday to you my dear!"

March Hare;
"Oh my goodness! Is that sweet carrot cake?!"

Mad Hatter;
"Indeed it is, only the tastiest of carrot cakes for you my love^-^."

March Hare;
"Oh callooh callay! This really is the best unbirthday ever!"

Alice;
"Excuse me but what in the world are you two going on about exactly? What do you mean by unbirthday?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh? I take it you have never heard of unbirthdays?"

Alice;
"No not at all."

The Hare has already finished her cake, it was not exactly a big one but for her to finish it so quickly is quite astonishing, it was a rather rich cake afterall.

March Hare;
"I think we need to fill her in Hatter, can't just leave her out on a loop afterall^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"No we most certainly cannot, so let us inlighten our guest on the concept^-^."

They both sit down before Alice and proceed to tell her what's what.

Mad Hatter;
"Now then, statistics prove, the day you were born entitles you one birthday."

March Hare;
"Imagine, just one measely birthday every year."

Mad Hatter;
"Ah, but because of that then logically there are three hundred and sixty four UNbirthdays!"

March Hare;
"Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer!"

Alice;
"But then that means it's my unbirthday too!"

She just brightened up, such a warm smile on that wonderful face of hers. The two tea loving coots had finally breached that wall of gloom and brought Alice out of her slump, finally they could share with her their moment of silliness and happiness. They continue along pretending they did not expect Alice to open up to them.

March Hare;
"It is? You don't say^-^?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh my what a small world this is indeed^-^."

March Hare;
"In that case....A very merry unbirthday!"

Alice;
"To me?"

Mad Hatter;
"To you^-^!"

Mad Hatter and March Hare;
"A very merry unbirthday!"

Alice:
"For me?"

March Hare:
"For you^-^!"

Mad Hatter:
"Now blow the candle out my dear
And make your wish come true^-^!"

Alice was quite surprised when the Hatter pulled out a cake from his hat, it makes her feel even more at ease and joyful. She blows out the candles, but when she does it suddenly takes off into the sky and turns into a spiralling fireball of flashing colors like some sort of firecracker.

Mad Hatter & March Hare;
"A merry merry unbirthday to you!"

It collides with the ground close by, from the cracking explosion ther suddenly was a giant snail, on top was a toad in a suit.

Mr. Toad;
"What in the name of Jiminy Crickets our Lord and Savior just happened?!"

Mad Hatter;
"Why hello my old friend Toad! How are you this fine day^-^?"

Mr. Toad;
"Oh, it's you Hatter. That explains this giant cake falling from the sky and hitting me like an anvil......for the umphtineth time I might add-_-."

Hat Hatter;
"Sorry about that but I am need of a favour."

Mr. Toad;
"What do you want this time?"

Mat Hatter;
"I need you to escort this young lady to the White Rabbit's house."

Alice;
"What?"

Mr. Toad;
"Huh? That's it? And here I thought you wanted me to join you on another crazy scheme of yours."

Alice;
"The White Rabbit's house?"

Mad Hatter;
"He won't be home for at least until this afternoon but if you wait for him there he will show up indeed."

Alice;
"You mean you're helping me catch up to the White Rabbit?"

Mad Hatter;
"As if I or Usagi could just stand by when a young lass like yourself is in need of some kindness^-^."

Alice did not know how to react, such kindness from a random stranger. Now she was getting a little teary eyed but this time with tears of joy. She just gave him a warm hug, wanting to savour this kind moment as long as she can.

Alice;
"I...I want to stay for some tea."

Mad Hatter;
"Are you sure?"

Alice;
"You said he wouldn't be home for hours."

Mr. Toad;
"Did somebody mention tea? I dare say I could do for some myself."

March Hare;
"Well then park that snail of yours and come on over, there's plenty for everybody^-^!"

And so it was, after a few less than pleasant encounters, Alice finally has a most wonderful moment in this strang world. This joyist moment might not last for long but at least it has happened, perhaps this world isn't so misserable after all.

She can only hope...
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

My deepest apologies to everyone, I......I just couldn't resist [link] (I am quite fond of Megumi33's take on it, the girl can fucking sing^-^). Special thanks to for making the song lyrics complete here^-^. Interestingly enough this song fits quite well in the context of Alice in Wonderland and the bit with the Dormouse was a perfect spot for it. Besides, who wants to hear that crappy "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat" rhyme anyway XD?

As for the hatter, well, I based my rendition both on Willy Wonka (the animated character from those Wonka Candy commercials) and this fun piece [link] by , without a doubt my absolute favorite depliction of the character^-^.

I know this is a rather sappy entry but I for one like it, especially considering the Disney version which has both the Hatter and Hare as total douchebags, and then there's the American McGee version where the Hatter is just straight up evil.

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FIRST ENTRY: [link]

Description
She has been wandering about the Lotus Woods for so long she didn't think she would get out, but as the dawn finally comes she suddenly finds herself along a solid path that will hopefully lead her out of these words. She can make out a windmill in the horizon ahead, she must be getting somewhere.

Morning has come at last, and wouldn't you know it the first thing Alice comes across this day is a massive long table covered with tea pots, tea cups and other such dishes and utensils. Some have servings of fruit and sweets. At one end there are two very strange characters sleeping in their chairs. One is a lanky looking fellow in a weird untidy suit with un-kepted hair and a rather distinguishable pointy nose, a rather freakish looking top hat covers his eyes as he snores away. Next to him in another chair, Alice cannot make this person out for sure mostly cause of the giant tea pot covering this person's head, a furry looking person at that who is without clothes save for a suit jacket, no doubt an animal of sorts.

Alice;
"Curious-er and curious-er."

She approaches the table most curiously, then as she reaches the table there is a small little bell on the table with the words "party time" engraved on it. Alice is not sure what to make of it but decides to pick it up and give it a ring. She never expected that little bell to suddenly have that lanky fellow leaping right out of his deep sleep, she is rather nervous at the way he takes notice of her and looks at her from afar like a deer who's on alert.

Mad Hatter;
"Oh my!"

He then launches himself out of his chair and onto the table, quickly trodding across the table in a most hectic manner. He reaches the other end of the table and now hovers over Alice, looking down right at her with curious eyes of his own. Then he has a happy grin on his face.

Mad Hatter;
"What be this now? A guest to our tea party? How most delightful! Hey Usagi!"

He calls out to the other individual that had been sleeping next to him. But that individual would not respond.

Mad Hatter;
"Hey Usagi! Wake up!"

He grabs a saucer and flings it right into the tea pot atop that furry person's head, it hits right on target but does nothing.

Mad Hatter;
"Get your hairy arse up you mangy Hare you! We have a guest!"

Alice;
"That person is a Hare?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh nevermind her for now. Might I ask who you are? It is customary to introduce yourself at each gathering^-^."

Alice;
"Oh, right. My name is Alice Kingsleigh. Please to meet you."

Mad Hatter;
"What a lovely name. I have a lovely name myself but sadely everyone just call me the Hatter. You may as well I suppose."

Alice;
"Why, because you wear that mad looking hat?"

Mad Hatter;
"Most everyone wears a hat my dear. Actually because I make hats, a rather slow trade but a trade none the less."

Alice;
"Well I guess that leaves that Hare, who is she?"

And just like that, the Hatter is suddenly kicked out of the way by the hairy person, she is suddenly wide awake and now wearing that giant tea pot like a hat. She then does a silly little pose like some sort of heroic figure twirling a big spoon like a baton.

March Hare;
"They call me Usagi the March! Pretty Soldier of Love and Happiness!"

Alice;
"Okay..."

Mad Hatter;
"You mangy little...I knew you were faking it!"

Alice;
"Usagi the March? What a curious name."

March Hare;
"It's Japanese (or is it Chinese?) Oh nevermind, it is another more adorable word for 'Bunny Rabbit' which is what I am, a cute adorable fuzzy wuzzy little Bunny Rabbit^-^."

Alice;
"But, you're not a Rabbit, you're a Hare."

The Hare looks rather shocked to hear that, she then starts to get teary eyed and pouty until she then shoves the tea pot down over her head and proceeds to stomp around on the table in a small circle just outright raving like a lunatic.

March Hare;
"BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY!!! I AM A CUTE LITTLE BUNNY RABBIT!!! I know I am, I must be! Why would I have a cute little cotton tail and adorably long ears if I wasn'tT-T?! BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY-BUNNY!!!"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh now you've gone and done it."

Alice;
"What did I do?!"

Mad Hatter;
"She may be a Hare but in all honesty she hates being one, she always dreamed of being a Rabbit so much it has made her delusional. You better apologize quick, she's going to break the table in two if this keeps up."

Alice;
"I'm......I'm sorry Ms. Usagi, I didn't mean to upset you."

Mad Hatter;
("Say she's such a lovely bunny rabbit, it'll shut her up for sure.")

Alice;
"And I think you're such a lovely bunny rabbit, honest!"

The Hare then stopped with it's temper tantrum, taking off the tea pot and tossing it aside. She then gives Alice a hug.

March Hare;
"Apology accepted, you're only human^-^."

Alice;
"Right-_-."

Mad Hatter;
"Well nevermind that, let's get on with the tea."

March Hare;
"Yay! Tea time!"

Mad Hatter;
"Come sit with us Alice, you look like you could use a moment of rest."

Alice;
"Well I have been walking for quite a good while, trying to catch up to the White Rabbit."

March Hare;
"Huh? You're looking for the White Rabbit?"

Alice;
"You know him?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh yes, most definetely. He's always coming and going on that contraption of his, always keeping up with his schedule. A very punctual fellow he is."

March Hare;
"What business have you with him anyway?"

Alice;
"I met him a day ago and he invited me to follow him, I'm curious as to where he is going."

Mad Hatter;
"I see. I've never known the White Rabbit to invite others to follow him. He moves so swiftly no one can seem to keep up."

March Hare;
"Especially since he got that stupid wheel of his! Not even I am able to keep up with him! Stupid overrated steampunky hunk of junk>_
Mad Hatter;
"Alice would you like some sugar in your tea?"

Alice;
"Why yes please."

March Hare;
"Are you sure? Because sugar costs a kiss^-^."

The Hare just said that so playfully and so coy.

Alice;
"Is that true?"

Mad Hatter;
"Just a harmless little kiss, you can have all the sugar you want^-^."

Alice;
"Well, okay."

He was expecting just a simple peck on the cheak, completely harmless. But before he knew it, Alice had placed her hands on both sides of his face and placing her own lips against his. Bewildered and utterly confused was he as she gave him a kiss almost like they were lovers. And the she stopped, backing away leaving him with his confusion. She did not look like she enjoyed doing that at all which only confounded Hatter even more.

Alice;
"Ummm, was that okay?"

Mad Hatter;
"Uhhh, well, uhhh...yes but...why so enthusiastic?"

Alice;
"Well I've been told that when a man asks for a kiss from a lady that a lady should kiss them like a lover would."

He did not like the sound of that at all, who would tell a young girl like Alice to be so forward like that when a man asks for a kiss? It disturbed him so, like maybe there was something seriously wrong with her, some psychological screw loose in that head of hers. It's no wonder she's even in this place among mad people. He just gives her some sugar and then turns to March Hare who was just as taken back by that disturbing moment...

Mad Hatter;
"Usagi I have an excellent idea! Let's change the subject!"

March Hare;
"Uh, yeah! A most excellent idea indeed! I got just the thing!"

She reaches out towards a most peculiar teapot on the table. With a small taping with a spoon on the pot, a mouse pops out from within the teapot. A most peculiar creature indeed, it didn't look like a mouse so much as a humourous charicature of one. As with many creatures in this world it too was dressed up, a top hat and cane to go with its suit.

March Hare;
"Hello little Dormouse^-^!"

Dormouse;
"Moneh? Moneh?"

March Hare;
"Do you have a little song for us today?"

Dormouse;
"Moneh-Moneh!"

It then hops down from atop the tea pot, it now stands on the table ready to do a dance of sorts. And then, it sings.

Dormouse;
"Excalibuuuuuuur,
Excalibuuuuuur,
From the United Kingdom,
I'm looking for Heaven,
I'm going to Californiaaaaa,
Excalibuuuuuur,
Excalibuuuuuur,
EXCALI-BUR!"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh bother not that annoying thing-_-."

March Hare;
"Hey I like that song^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"What was wrong with 'Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat'? That one is more appropriate for a tea party."

Dormouse;
"Moneh-Moneh, Moneh-Moneh!"

Mad Hatter;
"What? What do you mean it's a stupid old man's song?"

Alice did not seem to be responding at all to the silliness. They thought for sure she'd at least crack a smile but from her very aura they felt something was wrong with her indeed.

Mad Hatter;
"Say Alice my dear, I got a riddle for you."

Alice;
"A riddle? I like riddles."

March Hare;
"Oooh then you'll love this one^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"Yes indeed. *ahem* Why is a Raven like a Writing Desk?"

Alice did not know what he was talking about, it almost seemed like a riddle with no answer just so he can pull her leg. But then she gave it a moment's reflection, she then came up with a rather gloomy answer.

Alice;
“Both lead to the writing of depressing thoughts,”

Mad Hatter;
“Pardon me?”

March Hare;
“Ummm, I don’t get it.”

Alice;
“The Raven by itself inspires depressing thoughts, a Writing Desk is where you write down your thoughts, depressing or otherwise. So both lead to writing down depressing thoughts.”

They were just stunned by how blatantly depressing her answer was, it was a right answer sure but still it was just gloomy.

Mad Hatter;
“Ummm, well…that’s a good answer young Alice. Very good answer indeed <_<, >_>.”

March Hare;
“Alice if you don’t mind I would like to have a minute with Hatter here^-^.”

Alice;
“That’s alright.”

Both the Hatter and Hare head around to one end for a little pow wow, strategizing on what they should do next.

March Hare;
(“This isn’t working! She’s still quite gloomy!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“I can clearly see that Usagi.”)

March Hare;
(“I can’t believe that stupid riddle didn’t work!")

Mad Hatter;
("I can't believe the Dormouse didn't work!")

March Hare;
("She's more gloomy than a Jubjub Bird! What the bloomin’ hell are we going to do?!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“Unbirthday.”)

March Hare;
(“Unbirthday? Come on she isn’t gonna go for that nonsense!”)

Mad Hatter;
(“You got any better ideas?”)

March Hare;
(“…...no…...”)

Mad Hatter;
(“I’ll go first.”)

March Hare;
(“Please do.”)

They break apart and head back around Alice, their plan put into action.

Mad Hatter;
“Y’know something, I just remembered, it's Usagi's unbirthday today!"

March Hare;
"REALLY?! IT'S IT'S MY UNBIRTHDAY TODAY?! OH MY GOODNESS GRACIOUS IT MOST CERTAINLY IS! CALLOOH CALLAY! MY UNBIRTHDAY IS TODAY! CALLOOH CALLAY! HORRAY HORRAY^-^!"

Mad Hatter;
("Over acting much-_-?")

March Hare;
("Shut up>_<.")

He then reaches into his hat and pulls out a humble cake with frosting on it. The March Hare just brightened up when she saw it.

Mad Hatter;
"And a very merry unbirthday to you my dear!"

March Hare;
"Oh my goodness! Is that sweet carrot cake?!"

Mad Hatter;
"Indeed it is, only the tastiest of carrot cakes for you my love^-^."

March Hare;
"Oh callooh callay! This really is the best unbirthday ever!"

Alice;
"Excuse me but what in the world are you two going on about exactly? What do you mean by unbirthday?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh? I take it you have never heard of unbirthdays?"

Alice;
"No not at all."

The Hare has already finished her cake, it was not exactly a big one but for her to finish it so quickly is quite astonishing, it was a rather rich cake afterall.

March Hare;
"I think we need to fill her in Hatter, can't just leave her out on a loop afterall^-^."

Mad Hatter;
"No we most certainly cannot, so let us inlighten our guest on the concept^-^."

They both sit down before Alice and proceed to tell her what's what.

Mad Hatter;
"Now then, statistics prove, the day you were born entitles you one birthday."

March Hare;
"Imagine, just one measely birthday every year."

Mad Hatter;
"Ah, but because of that then logically there are three hundred and sixty four UNbirthdays!"

March Hare;
"Precisely why we're gathered here to cheer!"

Alice;
"But then that means it's my unbirthday too!"

She just brightened up, such a warm smile on that wonderful face of hers. The two tea loving coots had finally breached that wall of gloom and brought Alice out of her slump, finally they could share with her their moment of silliness and happiness. They continue along pretending they did not expect Alice to open up to them.

March Hare;
"It is? You don't say^-^?"

Mad Hatter;
"Oh my what a small world this is indeed^-^."

March Hare;
"In that case....A very merry unbirthday!"

Alice;
"To me?"

Mad Hatter;
"To you^-^!"

Mad Hatter and March Hare;
"A very merry unbirthday!"

Alice:
"For me?"

March Hare:
"For you^-^!"

Mad Hatter:
"Now blow the candle out my dear
And make your wish come true^-^!"

Alice was quite surprised when the Hatter pulled out a cake from his hat, it makes her feel even more at ease and joyful. She blows out the candles, but when she does it suddenly takes off into the sky and turns into a spiralling fireball of flashing colors like some sort of firecracker.

Mad Hatter & March Hare;
"A merry merry unbirthday to you!"

It collides with the ground close by, from the cracking explosion ther suddenly was a giant snail, on top was a toad in a suit.

Mr. Toad;
"What in the name of Jiminy Crickets our Lord and Savior just happened?!"

Mad Hatter;
"Why hello my old friend Toad! How are you this fine day^-^?"

Mr. Toad;
"Oh, it's you Hatter. That explains this giant cake falling from the sky and hitting me like an anvil......for the umphtineth time I might add-_-."

Hat Hatter;
"Sorry about that but I am need of a favour."

Mr. Toad;
"What do you want this time?"

Mat Hatter;
"I need you to escort this young lady to the White Rabbit's house."

Alice;
"What?"

Mr. Toad;
"Huh? That's it? And here I thought you wanted me to join you on another crazy scheme of yours."

Alice;
"The White Rabbit's house?"

Mad Hatter;
"He won't be home for at least until this afternoon but if you wait for him there he will show up indeed."

Alice;
"You mean you're helping me catch up to the White Rabbit?"

Mad Hatter;
"As if I or Usagi could just stand by when a young lass like yourself is in need of some kindness^-^."

Alice did not know how to react, such kindness from a random stranger. Now she was getting a little teary eyed but this time with tears of joy. She just gave him a warm hug, wanting to savour this kind moment as long as she can.

Alice;
"I...I want to stay for some tea."

Mad Hatter;
"Are you sure?"

Alice;
"You said he wouldn't be home for hours."

Mr. Toad;
"Did somebody mention tea? I dare say I could do for some myself."

March Hare;
"Well then park that snail of yours and come on over, there's plenty for everybody^-^!"

And so it was, after a few less than pleasant encounters, Alice finally has a most wonderful moment in this strang world. This joyist moment might not last for long but at least it has happened, perhaps this world isn't so misserable after all.

She can only hope...
__________________________________________
__________________________________________

My deepest apologies to everyone, I......I just couldn't resist [link] (I am quite fond of Megumi33's take on it, the girl can fucking sing^-^). Special thanks to for making the song lyrics complete here^-^. Interestingly enough this song fits quite well in the context of Alice in Wonderland and the bit with the Dormouse was a perfect spot for it. Besides, who wants to hear that crappy "Twinkle Twinkle Little Bat" rhyme anyway XD?

As for the hatter, well, I based my rendition both on Willy Wonka (the animated character from those Wonka Candy commercials) and this fun piece [link] by , without a doubt my absolute favorite depliction of the character^-^.

I know this is a rather sappy entry but I for one like it, especially considering the Disney version which has both the Hatter and Hare as total douchebags, and then there's the American McGee version where the Hatter is just straight up evil.

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