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aliensphynx [2017-04-15 16:34:25 +0000 UTC]

"SAMARIA, STOP!" a booming voice yelled from the room next door. "sorry!!!!!!!!!!!!!" i shouted, assuming it was my brother. with a mighty BOOM, knocking bits of wood everywhere, a figure burst into my room. i looked up from my computer, hands still positioned over the keyboard. among the dust and broken wood, there stood jesus. "STOP COMMENTING SHIT ON ELLE'S POSTS. SHES MINE!" he yelled, taking a step forwards. his long, shiny hair swayed in anger. i had to resist the overwhelming urge to ask what shampoo he used. "NO!" i said back, then crossing my arms. "I LOVE ELL AND I CANNOT EXPRESS MY LOVE THROUGH NORMAL COMMENTS. FUCK OFF! SHES NOT YOURS, SHES MINE. I LOVE MY GIRL"
this seemed to anger the heavenly being- for a moment, i was terrified. what had i done?
jesus proceeded to pick up a broken piece of my doorframe, snapping it in two and handing me half. the second it touched my hand, it turned into a glistening light, soon becoming what appeared to be some kind of sword. "im more familiar with guns, ya know." i mentioned, but he didnt seem to care. 
his piece of the frame also turned into a sword, similar to mine, but covered in flame decals and fancy letters reading out "jesus is our lord". unfair, i admit, but i didnt want to bring it up. he motioned for me to stand, and i did so. 
the ground fell away in an instant. everything span and when i blinked, we were standing atop one of the easter island heads. "fitting, right?" jesus said with a smirk, tucking his hair behind his ears. his face changed, and before i knew it, he was the epitome of anger. he hadnt got over the fact that elle was mine. swiftly, i jutted my sword towards him, but he dodged. "fucking WEAK!" he shouted. at this point, i was angry. for sure, im not all too good with swords. havent used one before. but i was very sure i wasnt "fucking weak"
gathering all my strength, i closed my eyes and swung the blade. a thump followed, and i dared to open my eyes. jesus's head was falling down the mightly face of the moai we were standing upon. blood pooled around his now lifeless corpse, emanating from the giant wound in his neck. with a crack, the head hit the ground. lucky he was dead- otherwise hed be alive with a very broken skull. seems like i did him a favor. 
looking at the body again, i had to deny my urges. ell wouldnt be proud of me, even if i did have a blood kink, i had to resist. im sure she'd make it up to me later- after all, id just killed jesus in her honor. 
with a mighty flash of light, i was back in my room. i threw the sword that i was still, for some reason, holding onto my bed, and it disappeared- along with the blood. "no trace at all. she'll never believe me" i muttered to myself, shaking the mouse of my computer to turn it back on, deciding to detail my adventures in a comment on elles latest beautiful artwork. 

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aliensphynx [2017-04-15 16:16:17 +0000 UTC]

ell.......what the fuck

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