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Uke-Mochi — IRL...
Published: 2008-12-02 06:17:13 +0000 UTC; Views: 1629; Favourites: 18; Downloads: 165
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*snorts* So, this occurred to me last night sometime while I was more or less planning out how to rewrite "twilight" (which doesn't get capitalized due to the sheer amount of suck--refer to my latest journal for full details). I think that bella (see previous) would punch edward (...) in the face once she realized that he's stalking her if she wasn't so sue-tastic. That's what I'm gonna have my Bella (who gets capitalized 'cause she's not a sue) do... All my anti-twilight drive for the day was used up in the aforementioned latest journal and this so... *shrugs*
In case you can't read my horrid handwriting, here's what it all says:
1 - How Twilight Would Happen IRL: Where ever bella comes from
Bella: I don't want to move
Charlie Daddy
2 - Forks, WA Meyerpirevil
Bella: I miss my friends.
edward Sparkles: *is stalking* *sparklesparkle*
--that's a leaf and twig btw
3 - bella's room
Bella: *sleeping*
edwardSparkles: *staaaaare*
4 - school-ey place
Bella: *makes friends*
edwardSparkles (in a trash can): !
Sideways - ~insert more of eddikins stalking bella here~
lots of white space o____o
5 - That forest place that's in all the movie previews
Bella: Wtf are you doing?
Sparkles (from behind rock): watching you... *sparklesparkle*
Bella: ... You're creepy.
Sparkles: You smell good. *sparklesparkle*
Rock: TT^TT
Trees: *are trees*
6 - Still the forest place (No trees this time I'm lazy >_>; )
Bella: *is going home*
Sparkles (still behind rock): ÒAÓ*sparklesparkle*
7 - ... (no trees here either <3)
Bella: *far away*
Sparkles: I DONT LIKE THAT YOU TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE!! *sparklesparkle*
8 - Bella's house
Bella: Daddy, there's this creep stalking me.
charlie Daddy: *getting shotgun*
9 -
Sparkles: *insert angry throb mark*
Paper: Restraining Order Stay away from Bella, freak
10 -
Sparkles: I love you bella have my demon mutant babies cause Im pretty and a vampire and you cant resist my sparkles but really you should stay away or I'll eat you! *sparklesparkle*
11 - Loony Bin (literally.. it's a bin.. of loonies <3)
smeyer: <3
Sparkles: *angrysparklesparkle*
12 - END
See, isn't that more like it?
Aahahahaha, I love how sparkles' expression, like, never changes. It's always Ò^Ó *angrystaaaaaresparkle*
Smeyer is also the only one wearing actual clothes... naked chibis ftw <3
Both and have permission to post this if they so wish <3
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Comments: 43
That's so funny. I should call him sparkles from now on XD
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Lol, that's what I always call him myself.. it's a much more fitting name for a fairy such as him.
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[link]
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even though im a fan i'll still adding this to favorets you've got the same thought that went thought my mind when i first read it
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im a twilight fan but if got to say if i found out a guys been watching me will i sleep i wouldn't just go ok like in the book but sill i love the twilight sage but you've got a great point.
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That was COMPLETELY win!! I will feature this in my Anti-Twilight dA journal!~ 8D
Edwards face the whole time was AWESOME.
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Lol, thanks. I couldn't help but snicker the entire time I drew this 'cause Edward's Sparkle's face was so fun do do.
And yes, feature <33 thankies.
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I love you!
Bella: ... You're creepy.
Sparkles: You smell good. *sparklesparkle*
Rock: TT^TT
Trees: *are trees*
I died with laughter 
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Woot <33 laughter is the whole point of the thing <3
That poor rock though.
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Yuh, I know.. RUN ROCK RUN! Oh right... you be a rock -.-'
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i have no idea how to react to that *laughs at the looney bin* (just wish smeyer had put more detail into the sex scenes! XD)
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Lol, I will send you a nice version of mine, with all the juicy details >3
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oh my... that reminds me, I'm gonna be posting another part to my story, so that means that you better have read the first one! *shakes fist*
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I just posted it so you better!!! Rawr!
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*noms* =w= when I fix my computer *is on computer upstairs*
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But it's not that long!!!!!!! *totally whining* only two pages... *snif*
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>>; It's kinda weird to be reading that sort of thing while in the same room as one's 'rents..
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... ... ... *sweatrop* good point........................
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lololololololol i now want to watch twilight.....but your version...XDDDD
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My version will kick some ass <33
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Well, it's true! I mean, seriously, what kind of girl would swoon over some pretty boy when they're stalking her? All the girls I know woulda punched 'im in the face and then filed a restraining order. Just don't understand it...
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I would have done both of those things, if I didn't mace him blind first.
I don't understand either. ; ;
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*sigh* Really, how many people want to be with someone who is abusive and controlling, never mind how pretty they are? *grumblegrumble*
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Some people are so desperate to find 'The One' they forget to take their time and look for actual qualities rather than watered down subtle emotional abuse. Edward is fucking controlling, and a real creeper. I fail to see what fangirls, or Bella (but their all fairly dumb), sees in him.
Thinking of it, this is really only just a book. OH GOD IT'S LEAKING INTO OUT LITERATURE. ; ;
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Even our literature isn't safe anymore... *tear*
And hence why I'm gonna have my Bella firmly introduce Edward's face to her fist. Although, in all fairness, it can be kinda hard to spot the abuse if you haven't seen/experienced it first hand so... *shrugs*
Relationships are over rated in my opinion. True love isn't found on the first try either...
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That...was awesome. IRL Meyerpireville is fecking win.
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<33 And I believe Bella belongs in the loony bin, too...
Oh wait, that's just my sadist side showing. >.>;;
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Ih.. the one from the actual books, yeah, maybe, but the Bella that I have in mind is you know, less of a pussy. She has a spine.. and a fist, and she knows how to use it.
*is gonna have to get the book in order to start rewriting it*
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I'll see if my mother will allow me to send my copies to Nai's...then I'll ask her to give them to you when she can. >>;
I have to mail her Christmas present, anyway. *shrug*
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Naw, I'll just jack my mum's copy.. I'll just have to refrain from doodling inappropriate and very non-mormon friendly things in there *nodnod*
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Oh how hard that will be. *nodnod*
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Indeed *nodnod* I'm planning, though to write up the first chapter or so, put it all side by side with the original in one large jpeg, and post it... then once I'm finished, give the entire thing to my mum, proving that meyer's version is shit. Complete and utter shit.
Then maybe I get to burn them 8D
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Do eet!
And...
Yay for burning things~! 8D *pyro side, it is showing!*
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8D I spent like, an hour last night just makin' fire balls and lighting stuff on fire <33 It's a real wonder my 'rents don't search my room for lighters.
But yeah. I am definitely gonna be rewriting "twilight" so it's better. And then, I'm gonna go through, change the names and the descriptions, and see if, I donno.. I can get it published. What a smack in the face that would be, ne?
... Don't worry, though, 'cause although I'll be using the same basic plot, there will be quite a few changes. Big changes. There will be no sparkling vampires, no pedo-wolfs, and no Super Sues. And eddikins is getting bitchslapped. Or sucker punched. Haven't decided. One of the two, at least... maybe both <3
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<3 That...is full of win right there.
DO EET~! *wants to see/read eddikins being bitchslapped and/or sucker punched*
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<33 I will be, don't worry, and you, m'dear, will be one of the first to read it <33
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