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Description
PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.
I wished things could have turned out differently then.  There was a lot I didn’t like about my life or myself.  My father had died before I could understand what it really meant.  My mother could hardly afford to keep the house.  The two of us lived in an apartment in the middle of a bad neighborhood.  I was always afraid to go outside alone; teenage boys like me were a target for random shootings.  With all the troubles I suffered from in life, I frequently resorted to self-mutilation.

It was autumn when I fist saw you.  I was with my friends and you were with yours.  You asked if I had the time while we waited in line to go to the concert.  You had eyes so brightly blue; I couldn’t help but fall in them.  We ended up talking awkwardly through the show.  You told me your name.  I told you mine.  My friends found it odd for me to hang around an unfamiliar boy.  We didn’t care.  After the show, we traded numbers and parted for the night.

Once I got home that night I blinked, unsure if it was a dream.  I didn’t believe that concert was real, that you were real.  I end up doing and I always did as I grabbed my razor blade from my bathroom cabinet.  All I could think of was your face; real or not, I wanted you.  I just couldn’t believe that someone as perfect as you came into my life.  I was lying on my stomach scribbling in my journal, when I heard a violent rumble to my right and saw my phone buzzing.  I didn’t move for a moment.
“H-hello?” I said softly, choosing to ignore the collar id that read Mikey and convincing myself that it was not really you.
“Alex?  Hey,” you said cautiously, just as nervous as I was.

We talked on the phone for hours upon hours.  You told me about your fears and doubts.  You told me about being picked on.  You told me all about the group of guys at your school who always and bullied you around for being gay and how you wish you could change just to avoid them.  I told you there wasn’t a need to change.  I told you that no one’s perfect.  For a while, a silence fell over us, each of us too afraid to let anything slip.
We met up at the mall.  You approached me with your tight jeans and your bright eyes.  I couldn’t help but smile.  We watched a movie together, just the two of us.  I leaned in a little towards you, still unsure about what you felt for me.  The movie was out and it was night again and we stood uncomfortably in the cold, our eyes straying from one another.  I didn’t want to leave quite yet.  You smiled and told me it was getting late.  You walked up close and hugged me tightly.  I blinked and hugged you back, but you moved your head up level with mine and pressed your lips against mine.  Your kiss was so perfect.  You toyed with my lip ring with your tongue.  We breathed each other’s breath as we stood there in the middle of the mall, the stars shinning in our favor.
I crawled into my bed that night, happy for the first time in too long.  I still had the taste of you on my lips.  I didn’t cut that night.  You made me too cheerful to even consider it.  I couldn’t wait to see you again.

We dated for several months after that.  We saw each other every chance we could, even if it counted on us sneaking out of our houses.  But wherever we walked, whether it was on the streets, the mall, a concert, or a rave, we had rude comments pass us by.  The group of guys who teased you was often making fun of the two of us together.  They would throw rocks at us and chase us down the streets brandishing broken beer bottles and wood planks.  We did our best to ignore their jeers as well as the danger they brought to us.
Eventually sneaking out and hiding our feelings for one another from our families became difficult.  The two of us joined a local band.  It was one that was insignificant but big enough to convince our relatives we were leaving the house for practices.  You had to teach yourself how to play the bass to get in.  I played the guitar.  The two other guys in the band didn’t mind our relationship.  Our group was called “Winter Fascination.”  We played at Soma one night.  I looked over and watched you strum your bass.  You gazed up at me and smiled.  I returned the grin, admiring how cute you looked playing on stage.

That was our second show.  The two of us left after the show and waved good-bye to the rest of the band.  I told you my mother was going to be out of the house all night and wouldn’t come back until noon the next day.  We were in my room.  I was on the mattress devoted to be my bed when you followed me in.  Without wasting a moment, you got up onto me and kissed me.  I felt the metal stud you had in your tongue.  You moved your fingers to a fold in my shirt and steadily undressed the both of us.  I let you this time.  Before anything else happened, you lowered your head to my ear and whispered, “I love you.”

I took a breath of fresh air, my thoughts trying to accept that phrase I had always yearned to hear.  I repeated the same words softly back to you.  I kissed you back again and you tore me apart.  You moved your mouth to my cheek, ear, neck, and chest, anything you could reach as you set my body on fire, while you had me against the bed.  You stretched hard.  I finally cried out once you hit that perfect spot.  We both closed our eyes, earning that moment of pleasure. I begged you to go harder and faster.  I had no thought in my mind at that point.  I was just too happy to be with you more now then ever, your soft words stroking the inside of my mind.  You locked your lips to mine, thieving the air from my mouth.  You playfully wrapped your tongue inside my mouth for a minute letting me catch some fresh air while I felt your warm body against my skin. You started riding me again.  I felt the pain inside me climb and my muscles contort but didn’t want you to stop.  I gasped in pain and you rubbed my erection.  I groaned in relief of the hurting for a while.  We finally pushed each other to our limits. You finally pulled out and rolled onto the matress beside me.
The two of us were panting in rhythm with one another a little harder then I had anticipated.  For several minutes neither of us moved, waiting for our hearts to began beating normally again.  I turned over onto my side and buried my face in your bare chest.  I pressed my cheek against your tepid skin and smiled, closing my eyes again.  You rolled onto your side as well and we fell asleep together under the covers.

I didn’t see you for the next two days because of late school hours but you called me every night and we talked on the phone all night long.  I felt like the luckiest boy in world to be blessed with perfect you.  I hadn’t cut in so long.  Last time I could remember, I cut because you got grounded and I didn’t see you for a week.  But we spent so much time together.  We had fun hanging around the rest of the band and spent days going to different places.  But I wanted something to symbolize our love and relationship.  So I drove to the mall once I saved up all the money I possibly could and bought a pair of gold rings for the two of us.  It cost all the extra money I had but I was happy for the both of us.

Your parents left for work that morning so I walked several miles to your house.  I had the rings in my pocket and was eager to show you.  You opened the door and we headed to the central mall by foot where I planned to take you to breakfast and give you the ring.  We were walking hand in hand when we heard the voices we grew to recognize all too familiarly.  The group of guys was standing across the street like always.  I squeezed your hand and told you to ignore them again.
The guys took off at us again, running across the street and dodging all the cars.  We ran down the sidewalk and turned into an ally.  The group caught up to the two of us and knocked us to the ground.  I heard sirens scream loudly and saw the faint blue and red light at the end of the street.  The biggest of the guys took out a gun from his back pocket.  You saw this before I did and you pushed me to the ground to protect me.  I heard the blast of the gun four times and the guys took off down the ally just as the sirens grew louder.  I was breathing hard as I looked up at your face; it was pale and your once bright blue eyes were now dull and hazy.  I felt the warm blood seeping into my jeans as I held you in my lap.  Your perfect skin you once held against my bare chest was tainted red and ruined.  You closed your eyes and mouthed the words, “I love you,” one last time then slumped in my arms.

I stood at the edge of your grave long after everyone had left and your funeral was over.  My make-up was running down my face as I stared at the headstone.  I didn’t want to think about you being gone.  I didn’t want to think about you, perfect in every way, being covered with dirt.
Right as the cops had come down that ally and you were already lifeless in my helpless arms, I had reached in my pocket and pulled out the two rings.  I had held out your once perfect hand, now bloodied and destroyed and slipped the gleaming ring onto your finger then had kissed your flawless lips, once so perfect and healthy.
As I stood there, tears rolling down my pale cheeks and thinking about how things could’ve gone so wrong, I looked at my hand, at the gold ring on my finger. There were so many memories of you spiraling in my mind. I reached in my jacket pocket.  I had made a promise to you that I wouldn’t be anywhere without you.  I pulled out a knife I had stolen from the kitchen of my apartment.  I cried silently and said that I would be with you once again.  Without hesitation, I dragged the knife down both my wrists deeper then ever before.  I watched myself bleed on your grave, the searing pain stretched across m arms and to m heart until I finally fell onto my stomach, my tears dripping onto the ground above your body. I smiled, seeing your bright eyes before me one last time.

Description
PERFECT IN EVERY WAY.
I wished things could have turned out differently then.  There was a lot I didn’t like about my life or myself.  My father had died before I could understand what it really meant.  My mother could hardly afford to keep the house.  The two of us lived in an apartment in the middle of a bad neighborhood.  I was always afraid to go outside alone; teenage boys like me were a target for random shootings.  With all the troubles I suffered from in life, I frequently resorted to self-mutilation.

It was autumn when I fist saw you.  I was with my friends and you were with yours.  You asked if I had the time while we waited in line to go to the concert.  You had eyes so brightly blue; I couldn’t help but fall in them.  We ended up talking awkwardly through the show.  You told me your name.  I told you mine.  My friends found it odd for me to hang around an unfamiliar boy.  We didn’t care.  After the show, we traded numbers and parted for the night.

Once I got home that night I blinked, unsure if it was a dream.  I didn’t believe that concert was real, that you were real.  I end up doing and I always did as I grabbed my razor blade from my bathroom cabinet.  All I could think of was your face; real or not, I wanted you.  I just couldn’t believe that someone as perfect as you came into my life.  I was lying on my stomach scribbling in my journal, when I heard a violent rumble to my right and saw my phone buzzing.  I didn’t move for a moment.
“H-hello?” I said softly, choosing to ignore the collar id that read Mikey and convincing myself that it was not really you.
“Alex?  Hey,” you said cautiously, just as nervous as I was.

We talked on the phone for hours upon hours.  You told me about your fears and doubts.  You told me about being picked on.  You told me all about the group of guys at your school who always and bullied you around for being gay and how you wish you could change just to avoid them.  I told you there wasn’t a need to change.  I told you that no one’s perfect.  For a while, a silence fell over us, each of us too afraid to let anything slip.
We met up at the mall.  You approached me with your tight jeans and your bright eyes.  I couldn’t help but smile.  We watched a movie together, just the two of us.  I leaned in a little towards you, still unsure about what you felt for me.  The movie was out and it was night again and we stood uncomfortably in the cold, our eyes straying from one another.  I didn’t want to leave quite yet.  You smiled and told me it was getting late.  You walked up close and hugged me tightly.  I blinked and hugged you back, but you moved your head up level with mine and pressed your lips against mine.  Your kiss was so perfect.  You toyed with my lip ring with your tongue.  We breathed each other’s breath as we stood there in the middle of the mall, the stars shinning in our favor.
I crawled into my bed that night, happy for the first time in too long.  I still had the taste of you on my lips.  I didn’t cut that night.  You made me too cheerful to even consider it.  I couldn’t wait to see you again.

We dated for several months after that.  We saw each other every chance we could, even if it counted on us sneaking out of our houses.  But wherever we walked, whether it was on the streets, the mall, a concert, or a rave, we had rude comments pass us by.  The group of guys who teased you was often making fun of the two of us together.  They would throw rocks at us and chase us down the streets brandishing broken beer bottles and wood planks.  We did our best to ignore their jeers as well as the danger they brought to us.
Eventually sneaking out and hiding our feelings for one another from our families became difficult.  The two of us joined a local band.  It was one that was insignificant but big enough to convince our relatives we were leaving the house for practices.  You had to teach yourself how to play the bass to get in.  I played the guitar.  The two other guys in the band didn’t mind our relationship.  Our group was called “Winter Fascination.”  We played at Soma one night.  I looked over and watched you strum your bass.  You gazed up at me and smiled.  I returned the grin, admiring how cute you looked playing on stage.

That was our second show.  The two of us left after the show and waved good-bye to the rest of the band.  I told you my mother was going to be out of the house all night and wouldn’t come back until noon the next day.  We were in my room.  I was on the mattress devoted to be my bed when you followed me in.  Without wasting a moment, you got up onto me and kissed me.  I felt the metal stud you had in your tongue.  You moved your fingers to a fold in my shirt and steadily undressed the both of us.  I let you this time.  Before anything else happened, you lowered your head to my ear and whispered, “I love you.”

I took a breath of fresh air, my thoughts trying to accept that phrase I had always yearned to hear.  I repeated the same words softly back to you.  I kissed you back again and you tore me apart.  You moved your mouth to my cheek, ear, neck, and chest, anything you could reach as you set my body on fire, while you had me against the bed.  You stretched hard.  I finally cried out once you hit that perfect spot.  We both closed our eyes, earning that moment of pleasure. I begged you to go harder and faster.  I had no thought in my mind at that point.  I was just too happy to be with you more now then ever, your soft words stroking the inside of my mind.  You locked your lips to mine, thieving the air from my mouth.  You playfully wrapped your tongue inside my mouth for a minute letting me catch some fresh air while I felt your warm body against my skin. You started riding me again.  I felt the pain inside me climb and my muscles contort but didn’t want you to stop.  I gasped in pain and you rubbed my erection.  I groaned in relief of the hurting for a while.  We finally pushed each other to our limits. You finally pulled out and rolled onto the matress beside me.
The two of us were panting in rhythm with one another a little harder then I had anticipated.  For several minutes neither of us moved, waiting for our hearts to began beating normally again.  I turned over onto my side and buried my face in your bare chest.  I pressed my cheek against your tepid skin and smiled, closing my eyes again.  You rolled onto your side as well and we fell asleep together under the covers.

I didn’t see you for the next two days because of late school hours but you called me every night and we talked on the phone all night long.  I felt like the luckiest boy in world to be blessed with perfect you.  I hadn’t cut in so long.  Last time I could remember, I cut because you got grounded and I didn’t see you for a week.  But we spent so much time together.  We had fun hanging around the rest of the band and spent days going to different places.  But I wanted something to symbolize our love and relationship.  So I drove to the mall once I saved up all the money I possibly could and bought a pair of gold rings for the two of us.  It cost all the extra money I had but I was happy for the both of us.

Your parents left for work that morning so I walked several miles to your house.  I had the rings in my pocket and was eager to show you.  You opened the door and we headed to the central mall by foot where I planned to take you to breakfast and give you the ring.  We were walking hand in hand when we heard the voices we grew to recognize all too familiarly.  The group of guys was standing across the street like always.  I squeezed your hand and told you to ignore them again.
The guys took off at us again, running across the street and dodging all the cars.  We ran down the sidewalk and turned into an ally.  The group caught up to the two of us and knocked us to the ground.  I heard sirens scream loudly and saw the faint blue and red light at the end of the street.  The biggest of the guys took out a gun from his back pocket.  You saw this before I did and you pushed me to the ground to protect me.  I heard the blast of the gun four times and the guys took off down the ally just as the sirens grew louder.  I was breathing hard as I looked up at your face; it was pale and your once bright blue eyes were now dull and hazy.  I felt the warm blood seeping into my jeans as I held you in my lap.  Your perfect skin you once held against my bare chest was tainted red and ruined.  You closed your eyes and mouthed the words, “I love you,” one last time then slumped in my arms.

I stood at the edge of your grave long after everyone had left and your funeral was over.  My make-up was running down my face as I stared at the headstone.  I didn’t want to think about you being gone.  I didn’t want to think about you, perfect in every way, being covered with dirt.
Right as the cops had come down that ally and you were already lifeless in my helpless arms, I had reached in my pocket and pulled out the two rings.  I had held out your once perfect hand, now bloodied and destroyed and slipped the gleaming ring onto your finger then had kissed your flawless lips, once so perfect and healthy.
As I stood there, tears rolling down my pale cheeks and thinking about how things could’ve gone so wrong, I looked at my hand, at the gold ring on my finger. There were so many memories of you spiraling in my mind. I reached in my jacket pocket.  I had made a promise to you that I wouldn’t be anywhere without you.  I pulled out a knife I had stolen from the kitchen of my apartment.  I cried silently and said that I would be with you once again.  Without hesitation, I dragged the knife down both my wrists deeper then ever before.  I watched myself bleed on your grave, the searing pain stretched across m arms and to m heart until I finally fell onto my stomach, my tears dripping onto the ground above your body. I smiled, seeing your bright eyes before me one last time.