Comments: 37
TryingTheBest [2018-02-06 23:09:03 +0000 UTC]
I miss this...
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tehwatcher [2018-02-06 06:16:08 +0000 UTC]
qst oh gems run!
2nd you can do ti
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deadaccount5678 [2018-02-06 00:58:57 +0000 UTC]
Congrats on yet another successful page, Greta! From the first page, you've really improved in the sense that
I can see that you are pushing yourself to do better. The line quality is more solid, and the words better fit together
within the panels and you are taking in more wider, more tricky shots. The colors seem to have been toned well to
Β fit the mood, and the aura of mystery among the darkness is very very apparent here! The anatomy seems to be
Β fantastically done - with the exception of Cream Pearl's right arm, it looks a bit wonkily connected at the shoulder
Β and off from the rest of the body. Otherwise, it seems to have been done really well! The expressions have also
been really stunningly done, and everything seems to be fluid and in place and it's apparent that you've thought alot
Β about how this page is going to be composed! I also forgot to mention before that the line is more expressive this time,
which I noticed and I liked very much as it thickens and thins out, a really nice little detail I also happened to notice! The
poses seem relaxed for the two entertainer which was a nice contrast to Heliodor's and Desert Rose's tense, action poses.
Now, for some light criticism here, you may want to be careful as I got confused by who is talking. You used certain
colors for Heliodor's text but I noticed that the colors changed between last page's and this page's panels. I couldn't
tell who exactly was speaking in the last panel, and as a suggestion try using a line or translucent bubble to connect
the voice to the chatacter if it's not already obvious! This usually needs to be done only once/twice before the readers
understand. I also could not find where the light source from the first two panels came from, as they never
reappeared within the rest of the comic and aren't seen on the panel where the entertainers are overlooking the stage.
I would've thought it was a flashlight, but then there were no light sources from Heliodor and Desert Rose either.
It's a small thing, and easy to fix/clarify.
Be also wary, as a fellow comic maker, of having too little sustenance! There are inbetween panels-as I like to call them-which
aren't necessarily filled with text but inbetween reactions, ex. someones face before getting punched. You did say in the discord
chat, though that you plan for the page to be double the length, so I think you should be fine.
Overall, fantastic job on the pages so far! You've been doing really well, and I wish you luck! Knowing you as such a talented artist,
you'll be able to get through this just fine, and the end product will surely be fantastic! After all, this is Red Roses Oasis~!
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undercoverghost In reply to deadaccount5678 [2018-02-06 20:11:19 +0000 UTC]
aw man im crying thank you so much for the long comment
I'm really trying to make these as quickly as I can while keeping the quality to my average and while it has been difficult, I'm glad it's paying off! Thank you for the input on the anatomy and light source - I'll try to keep a closer eye to it in the next pages.
As for the text, I have to say I have no experience in placing it within the panels as I struggle translating storyboard to comic, but I will keep an eye out for making it clearer. Unfortunately, it is a comic with a lot of gems sharing similar palettes, so color-coding does look awkward sometimes lmao. I'll resort to the bubbles when things get confusing, thanks for the input!
As for the light, it is the same source from page 1: the windows of guard HQ. The bush Cream Pearl is leaving behind them is part of the ones they were previously hiding behind, only a different angle, but I understand why it was not clear!
As for sustenance, I hope I got it right in the next pages! This comic is meant to be quite past-paced, but I did add in some reaction based panels in the next ones, seeing as they are more action-based, to balance it out. I hope I did well!
And really, thank you so much for the kind words it really means the world to me!
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sorrythisissage [2018-02-06 00:49:51 +0000 UTC]
OH SHIT MY EMO BABY
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Very-Small-Diamond [2018-02-05 23:56:44 +0000 UTC]
*Le gasp*
Holy crap why did I take so long to get back on here lol. This is amazing!
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Sam-the-spam [2018-02-05 23:52:55 +0000 UTC]
gasp
the suspenseΒ
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Yetember [2018-02-05 23:14:16 +0000 UTC]
oh god
it begins
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Cal-zone [2018-02-05 22:57:56 +0000 UTC]
Brilliant as always greta! Keep up the good work β’uβ’
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VeryYamYam [2018-02-05 22:49:57 +0000 UTC]
owo it is getting interesting
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CasCasanova [2018-02-05 22:23:58 +0000 UTC]
tbh just gonna day this looks really great. I admire your art a lot and I love how you draw backgrounds and characters in general, and I think that this piece looks great. youβre doing a great job and you should keep up the great work <3
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Blixxing [2018-02-05 22:08:18 +0000 UTC]
Β RUN!
i really like the shadows on this one!
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TrustyArts [2018-02-05 22:01:28 +0000 UTC]
OOOH WHAT'S GOING ON OMG
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KnightlyMoon [2018-02-05 21:43:29 +0000 UTC]
Guards: CSTCH THOSE REBELS
Phantom: Y E E T
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