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UnholyHippo — Lentus Pecco
Published: 2005-04-25 20:59:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 79; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 2
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Description
And he was carried through the streetsOn the shoulders of admirers and competitors alike
Surveying his people with a thoughtful yet listless eye
He was their God this day
Children and women called his name
Men saluted him with dignity and pride
Even the vanquished stood tall as he rode past
He was their king this day
But these triumphs made him soft
He grew lethargic and cynical with time
Children laughed at him as he fell, slow and old as rock
He was nothing more this day
And that one fateful day he passed on
But it was not in combat that this brave warrior fell
Nor even to disease or nature
Today, he never was.
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Comments: 2
Interesting pattern. I really like it, but I think it lacks a certain emotional punch that a lot of your other poems seem to have about them. It left me thinking, but not really feeling, if you know what I mean. And in line 2, I think that's admirers. I'm not sure of my spelling, but I think you need more than one.
But keep it up. It's fun to check the account and see someone's put stuff up. |>
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Thanks for the catch on admireRs!
Its not a really emotional work, no. Like you said, just made to make you think.
It was off a concept I recalled from some British poet.
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