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UnholyHippo — The Machine
Published: 2005-04-24 13:51:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 66; Favourites: 0; Downloads: 0
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Description The gears turn and the machine runs
All of its little pieces in perfect harmony
Oblivious to their role in the machine
Oblivious to their role outside the machine

Why has our society become this machine?
And why have we become these gears?
We cannot continue on without individuality
Yet we cannot live without the machine.
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Comments: 4

isilme-uroloke [2005-04-25 01:56:00 +0000 UTC]

How paradoxical! I like the ideas and the repition in lines 4 and 5.

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UnholyHippo In reply to isilme-uroloke [2005-04-25 20:30:48 +0000 UTC]

Thank you! I'm deciding whether to expand on it or not.

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Kiie [2005-04-24 13:55:27 +0000 UTC]

My only offence is about the ending line; I feel it should be "yet" or "but" instead of "and", because the second stanza seems to be talking about the paradoxes, so the viewpoint should be expressing surprise rather then acceptence.

However, this is only my take so feel free to ignore me
It's a chilled poem.

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UnholyHippo In reply to Kiie [2005-04-24 15:50:31 +0000 UTC]

Good point, thank you for reading and fixing.

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