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ursulav — St. Ungo the Well-Endowed
Published: 2008-06-07 23:42:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 37762; Favourites: 802; Downloads: 1475
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St. Ungo the Well-Endowed is possibly unique in the history of hagiography, in that he was beatified based on the testimony of eighty-six different women,* who all claimed that yes, definitely, miraculous, hoo boy, you have NO idea, seriously, without ever saying exactly what the miracle in question had been.This has baffled researchers for centuries.
Today St. Ungo is the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst.
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*cough* Could NOT resist. (Hey, just 'cos they're saints doesn't mean I can't have a little fun with 'em...) St. Ungo here is based on the Cape Ground Squirrel, a species with...um...endowments that can reach up to 42% of their total body length. (Say it with me, people! "Daaaaamn....")
6 x 9ish, original is for sale, prints available for $10 plus shipping. All four saints--Ungo, Mellivora, Wombus, and Barnaby--are available as a set for $28 plus shipping. Send a note or visit [link] for details!
*Ranging in age from eighteen to sixty-three, and including two nuns and a duchess. St. Ungo apparently believed in a wide-ranging ministry.
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Comments: 246
BAHAHAHA! Love it!
A question: if I bought the prints, would the commentary be included? Or would I have to make up little plates for each one?
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Yeah, I'm saying it with you: "DAAAAAAAMNN!"
I have lol-ed so hard, I think I've filled my quota of laughter for the next two weeks
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HAH! cryptic and arbitrary. hahah!
such clever wording, i really enjoyed this image and the read.
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Do I really have to be the one to point out that, in order to be beatified, the miracles have to occur after the saint's death? >_<;
I mean, come on! I'm Protestant, for pete's sake!
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Isn't it the miracles happen when they're still alive, they are just dubbed saints after their death?
I mean, how do miracles happen when they're dead?
Unless you wacky Protestants have zombie saints?
(I kid at the last one, I kid!)
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In order to be beatified, the church (supposedly) needs proof that the person in question went straight to heaven without stopping at purgatory, meaning he was deemed without sin. The only way to prove that is for said spirit to appear to someone and perform a holy miracle. I believe the requirement is 2 attested miracles.
In practice, the standards are pretty loose and it functions as a sort of posthumous Nobel Peace Prize.
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Ok, this made me laugh, but what about us wolves? We need a saint and preferably a funny one cause wolves have a bad habit of taking themselves too seriously,
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"I served the lord and I was BLESSED. If you join me in 'confession', you can be 'blessed' too!"
That is such a televangelist grin if I ever seen one!
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Heh, heh... is this an innuendo? 
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*snort* Man, I almost sprayed my monitor with Pepsi. Hehehe.
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There is something about his cheesy smile, round belly, and obvious arrow that makes me have a giggle fit when i see him x3
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That's not a belly, he's got to put things somewhere. 0
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Ever heard of the Argentine Lake Duck? Their... um... is 42.5cm long. Yeah.
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Argentinian ducks have endowments that can be thrice their body length. Aaah nature!
Love this.
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He looks a bit too cheerful to be a saint- oh, wait, eighty-six women... yeah, he's got reason enough to be cheerful.
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This has so much win in it I don't even know where to begin...
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My concience would not let me put this in the saints group, but I just had to have it, so into the humor only section! I ought to know better having had a personal conversation with Padre Peter Straub yesterday...
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Hahaha, the character makes me think of Juan Ruiz, author of the medieval "The Book of Good Love." Written in the 1300s, there's a whole chapter on the archbishop's many affairs.
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I would SO turn religious just so i could belong to 'The Church of St. Ungo the Well-Endowed'. Because thats really funny.
Also. BRATWURST! ROFL!
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"the patron of single women and, apparently demonstrating the cryptic and arbitrary nature of sainthood, bratwurst."
Bratwurst? BRATWURST?!?
THIS is why I read your art diary, Ursula. I need to laugh this hard at least once a week. Thank you. *dies laughing*
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Best. Saint. Ever.
Also, I said daaaammn before reading the parenthesis. Then I played the twilight zone theme music in my head.
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so that's what this monk is covering under his long robes....
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It's gonna be a bright, bright, briiight, Sunshiny day!
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*lol* Speaking of well endowed creatures...do you perhaps know of Tanuki? Both the real animal and the creature of Japanese mythology. Apparently there's an animated movie about a tanuki clan. They have magical balls that they can transform into various things....like bridges! 
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I just noticed the arrow on his little robe pointing down and I started laughing hysterically.
I also love his expression.
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I can't remember her name but there was a woman sainted simply because she was born with three breasts.
Obviously she's been removed from the official saints roster, or whatever it is they're calling it these days, but she was officially a saint at one point.
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There was also a woman sainted because her breasts were cut off. She was the saint of bells (or something related) because in depictions of her, she is seen carrying her disembodied breasts on a platter, and people thought they looked like bells.
Sainthood is nasty, isn't it?
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