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vaeltaja — A Fool in Love

Published: 2000-11-13 16:33:04 +0000 UTC; Views: 1364; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 244
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Description So close, yet so far
you are to me.

We walk, my hand in yours.
But your hand is not on mine.

So I kiss you.
Your soft lips I peck.
They're open, so calling.
Yet, so closed for me.

I said that I loved you.
That my love would be true.
You smiled and kissed my lips.
Never I learnt, did you love me then?

I was in love with you.
Did you love me
or was I only a fool.
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Comments: 19

WarthogDemon [2009-12-19 05:39:32 +0000 UTC]

Nice.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

ObscureProcure [2006-04-05 04:13:18 +0000 UTC]

This is good! I can really feel the passion that seems to spill right through this piece. Arent we all fools when it comes to love? Anyways, you had good word choice, not an all together original style but more than acceptable, and solid flow. I like it!

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

rattyratboy [2005-02-25 19:54:52 +0000 UTC]

If this is your best work, shame on you!

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

vaeltaja In reply to rattyratboy [2005-02-26 19:51:44 +0000 UTC]

It's not my best, it's my early.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

matsaada [2004-12-23 09:37:02 +0000 UTC]

This is a really good poem, nice work, Take a look at mine if you got any time.

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

LOSTACIDjoKer [2004-10-20 04:10:46 +0000 UTC]

all though i am new to the emotions and feelings of love, i understand this poem so well, great piece, awesome work!!

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silentmisfit09 [2004-07-04 07:16:38 +0000 UTC]

its pretty good, I like it.

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greeeenjellybean [2003-04-20 12:49:20 +0000 UTC]

It's great. The only thing is...

They're open, so calling.
Yet, so closed for me.

...just doesnt seem right. I would have used "to" instead of "for". But I don't know. just my opinion. It's really good. Captures the emotions in a simple but vivid way

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

NLByrne In reply to greeeenjellybean [2010-07-16 21:16:20 +0000 UTC]

Agreed

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the-wanderer [2002-01-27 11:27:13 +0000 UTC]

I know the feeling well. Looking back, thinking back to that time, feel like such a fool, how could I be so blind.... yet it happens to me over and over again. I guess, once a fool, always a fool
-K

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

phc [2000-11-17 15:09:26 +0000 UTC]

Vital as it is, it still lacks of something I can't set my finger on. The poem itself is beautiful

- the1

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ham [2000-11-15 08:56:07 +0000 UTC]


Fool U very so young in love... reaching out for the better side of YOU... PURE... and nice

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ham [2000-11-15 08:56:01 +0000 UTC]


Fool U very so young in love... reaching out for the better side of YOU... PURE... and nice

👍: 0 ⏩: 0

tack [2000-11-15 07:44:52 +0000 UTC]

Nice. I like that you worked in peck. This is good work. Some of the only good to come out of times like those is the writing.

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jsenn [2000-11-15 00:48:29 +0000 UTC]

*poof*

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itirep [2000-11-14 21:44:58 +0000 UTC]

sooo nice...unrequited love is the food of all starving poets..great work here

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seas [2000-11-13 17:30:46 +0000 UTC]

an emotion sealed in words...i wish i was as good.

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jsenn [2000-11-13 16:57:25 +0000 UTC]

Besides the death of one very dear, the still, gentle ache of one's heart over unrequited love, is the most sorrowful emotion.

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asleep [2000-11-13 16:56:57 +0000 UTC]

Wow... that is almost the same poem I wrote a hundred times... You've captured the feeling of love without return very well..

David Demski
www.DreamersGuild.com

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