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VertigoArt — Intercourse
Published: 2010-06-19 06:28:06 +0000 UTC; Views: 1363; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 13
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Description
Intercoursebetween
two people
is just the
discourse
of actions
instead of
words.
Bring me
more discussions
that have no
repercussions
and there
will be
less
violence.
Bring me
more actions
that have no
reactions
and I will be
happy.
Tempt me
with
a tease,
but tease
me
with a
temptress
and
nothing will be
done.
I will
accomplish
only things
that add
to my
accomplishments
without
the aid
of accomplices.
I will not
talk
to hear
my own
voice
because
my voice
is not
that interesting.
But it's time
to move
for the
sake of
moving
so
I will
not be
the last one
left standing.
Comments: 8
In a way it seems to ask for shut off emotions and opinions. That is the only way no reaction would every come to anything.
Yet he still wants to fit in, he moves when the rest does? But seemingly uncomitted. Funny.. the feeling I get form this poem is passionate opinion when in reality there is more of a helplessness going on.
yeah bla bla bla
you got me thinking can you tell
I'll bugger off now!
nice flow and interline rhime.
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Thank you for taking the time to read and comment
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The second to last stanza stands out to me as somehow odd, I don't think I understand how it fits in with the rest. But I do really like this poem ^^
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An interesting progression, and quite a bit of contrasts.
This:
Bring me
more actions
that have no
reactions
and I will be
happy.
Would make for a boring time, though. A joke's reaction is a laugh, is that bad? Is there really any action that could be taken that doesn't have a reaction?
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no and that is the point that the narrator of the piece will never be happy
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Aha (which would be better if I could type in the funny accent that's supposed to have)
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