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viria13 β James and Lily are studying.
Published: 2011-04-20 16:23:03 +0000 UTC; Views: 168383; Favourites: 5152; Downloads: 1334
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c'mon,they really are..well,were.
did it on livestream [link] today and might say I'm totally and absolutely dead now so tired..those books just killed me.
there isn't a beginning video..I don't know what happened,but somehow it wasn't working
but anyway..James and Lily maybe studying for N.E.W.Ts.I know,Lily would probably never seat like that..BUT I wanted so.
hope you'll like.
anndddd comments=lovelovelove
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Comments: 225
ahh,thank you for the critique
well..about shadow..there are not shadows AT ALL.I just don't draw them..I know it supposed to be but..haha,you see
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haha thats cool, with or without shadows, your art is mindblowing!!
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Hello there viria13! This is your friendly GamerDeeJay here doing a critique on your piece of...fan art right? (It's Harry Potter right? Yeesh I dunno...) Anyways, this is combo breaker critique as I usually do Anthro critiques so bear with me here. Now I will say this, I will go quite in-depth with this critique and I *may* be blunt at times. But keep a stiff upper lip, grab a notepad for some note-taking and let us begin...
Vision: 4.5 Stars, but why?
+1 Star: HOLY CRAP THIS IS A NICE PIECE. *Ahem* Sorry, had to get that out of the way. I does look quite good though...at first glance, but we'll get to that. Don't worry.
+2 Stars: You set up this picture so you can practically feel the emotion. The colors are warm, not overbearing. The poses of James and Lily are *nearly* perfect for a scene like this. And to top it off it's in a library. Aw, how romantic. *shot*
+1 Star: Effectively showing two characters in love is always worth a star in my book. (No pun intended.) However, whether they *are* in love in the actual Harry Potter series is a good question. (Seeing as though I'm not much of a fan of the series or any fan-fiction about it.)
+0.5 Star: Just the fact that you went through an extra bit of trouble to line out...every. Single. Book. Nice work! However...
-0.5 Star: I notice some flaws in the picture some small, and one BIG one. But we'll get to that in the 'Technique' section, that's what's holding the vision back though. Sorry.
Advice: Y'know I really don't have much to say here. Maybe take your time to look over the picture for mistakes. Art isn't a race, well not for me anyway. I dunno if you reach a certain point in popularity you have to dish out deviations every week. Man I hope not. So just take things slow and maybe you'll be able to see some of the mistakes and fix them before posting it here. Just a thought.
Originality: 3.5 Stars, but why?
+1 Star: Two teens in love. Seen it. Two teens in love in a library. Not something I come across everyday.
+1 Star: You picked a good pose choice for both of them, and if they were say, standing or sitting at a table next to each other I don't think you'd get the same effect. In short, nice execution.
+1.5 Stars: Your style. I like it, and yet I don't at the same time. What I like is emphasizes on warm colors and you know how to set the mood. But...
-0.5 Star: ...your style also revolves around look at this, but not too closely. And I have a preference for things being well-aligned and straight in pictures. So your lines are a bit...wobbly in places especially with the books. As I said before, it looks good...at first glance.
-1 Star: I am a big promoter of original art. That said, anything that has to do with fan art, I look down upon. And lurking around dA I notice that it can be the only sure fire way to get pageviews and noticed. And that's very...unfortunate. This isn't about you in any way, somebody could paint the Mona Lisa version of some mainstream thing and I would still dock a star from 'Originality'. Nothing's purely original unless the idea comes from you, in my honest opinion.
Advice: Again, I got nothing to say. And after my little mini-rant about fan art; all I can say is do whatever you think is original. Even if that means making more fan art.
Technique: 3 Stars, but why?
+1 Star: Everything mentioned so far; nice colors, good poses, effort was involved in a lot of this, and so on and so on.
+1 Star: Your grasp of folds in clothing and proper posing is better than mine. Good job on that.
+1 Star: I see some small details were added here and there. Scribbles on paper, some stains on the books, etc.
-1 Star: Minor flaws, which I'll explain in the quick version.
Lily
Right arm is...not right. Seems a bit too thin, and the forearm is down farther than it should be. I believe the elbow should be parallel with the folds with her shirt, to correct it. Right hand...I have no idea what she's doing with it, but it looks a bit uncomfortable from this angle. It might have been a good idea to have Lily's hand rest on Jame's shoulder. Not only to convey an extra feel of emotion, but also so that it could have been easier to draw. But that's just me.
Left knee could've used a line of detail like you did with the left. Minor detail, but it adds a bit of depth.
Dramatic hair color change near her torso area. If it's like that in the books/movie then okay. If not, well, now you know.
James
Right arm, his forearm is bigger than the upper arm.
Collar, the right side is smaller in comparison to the left.
Whatever folds is happening by the shoulder it's not...wait is that Lily's hand??? Ehhhhhhh...okay. Well it's doesn't look like how a hand would bend and contort when placed at the shoulder area. Use references to help you with these complex areas.
Overall
Wobbly lines, whether it's your style or whatever everything looks better when it's straight and orderly, and by 'everything' I mean inanimate objects (books, tables, etc.). It also helps to be symmetrical with them as well (looking at the lamp for this one).
Folds, I'm just learning the concepts from these but judging from my recent studies (and a few resources), they bend and contort to the body. That said most your lines for the folds are fairly straight, and sort of throw off the depth of the characters. Especially on James's right arm and the coat on the chair (or whatever it is). Proper shading can also help define a character more when lines cannot. Just something to keep in mind.
Books, looked rushed at some spots and have some alignment problems. Some books on the top shelf and bottom shelf are wrong perspective-wise. I can see the colors go past the lines in some of the books, and the lines are, well, wobbly. Texture on them are kind of blech-looking, and I think a simple smudging with a darker color might have been better. All this is completely understandable, as doing the same thing over and over can be tiresome; but that doesn't mean you can't skimp out on quality, right?
-1 Star: The light source. WHERE IS IT COMING FROM? The lamp? Funny, then James's front shouldn't be as illuminated as it is. From above? Okay, then more of the scene should be illuminated at the bottom. Also the light source varies from bright to not as bright RIGHT NEXT TO IT. Whaaaat? This can clearly be seen on the ladder. There are splotches of shading on James's forearm that cut off suddenly. Lastly, the light doesn't conform to the characters or the books, it looks like you just painted over them instead of painting with them. Light gets blocked, bounced, reflected, and absorbed; which produces the effects of shading and shadows; which are things this picture seems to be lacking in.
Advice: Use references, always determine where your light source is and shade the picture accordingly. And just because the picture is set in the Harry Potter universe, doesn't mean light is 'magical' and be wherever it wants to be. e.deviantart.net/emoticons/s/s⦠" width="15" height="15" alt="
Impact: 3.5 Stars, but why?
+1 Star: I'll say it again it looks nice, and shows good amounts of emotion.
+1 Star: Looking at the actual deviation page, I see it impacted lots of other people...so majority rules. Add a star.
+1 Star: I wrote a nearly 1600 word critique for this deviation. There's a lot of impact happening on me because of it. You're welcome by the way.
-0.5 Star: It's fan art. And fan art just doesn't resonate with me. Harsh? Maybe. But that's how I am, and I'm not a fan of fan art.
-1 Star: The fact that the piece looks nice at first and then when you stare at it you see flaws here and there. Fix the mistakes I mentioned, work on the linework and try to be consistent throughout the drawing and you'll just fine in the future.
Advice Work on the mistakes I've mentioned and use references for everything. Trust me it helps. I may not be a fan of fan art but it leaves bigger impressions on other people. Don't let me discourage you.
So I leave off saying it's been fun dissecting your deviation like a frog in a science lab. Sorry again for seeming a bit harsh at some points, but it is to help you improve, right? Just remember to strive for improving your art first, and then impressing people second. Take things slow and triple-check everything so that it looks right. Take my advice into consideration, practice more, use references, and look forward to a future of better artwork!
And to that I say good luck to your future artistic endeavors!
~GamerDeeJay
p.s. This critique was requested by one of my friends, because apparently I'm good at critiquing. So you can thank her for bringing your deviation to my attention. By the way thanks for the opportunity!
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... This is one of the most in-depth critiques I have ever read... And I love it. You obviously know your stuff. Fantastic. Keep critiquing, please, that was absolutely brilliant. If I had the option for my work, I would beg you to critique me, but really I don't think I'll waste your time haha, I'll just admire your words from afar
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Great critique!
You really come to the point, and you say your opinion.
Sometimes it may be harsh, but it is never insulitng or anything!
Keep it up
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You should be a full time critic! You seem to have a real gift for it!
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Thanks! I would if I could, but there's only so much I can do...and not to mention I also want to become a better artist as well. Sure helping others along the way is fun though. And a really good way to kill time.
Too bad I'm kind of an unseen artist/critic though. Ah well in time, it'll get better.
Thanks again!
p.s. I like those pictures of flowers in your gallery. Pretty. Might drop by again if I feel like drawing some later.
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GREAT critique, very insightful. At some parts, I felt you were slightly unfair, but then I looked closer and found truths to about 99% of what you said. Your critique really helped me look harder at this piece, as when I first looked it over i barely noticed the mistakes you pointed out. (although I did notice that something was....strange...about Lily's arm and hand at first) I also have a suggestion to for you, Viria 13, I think it would look great if Lily's left hand was resting around on Jame's ribs/hip. I just think that would be a better and more balanced positioning. Just a suggestion, though! <3
I think I'll have to get you over to my DA page sometime, GamerDeeJay, to critique my work, as our friend is right, your good at it! And I just love constructive criticism xD <3
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Only 99% truth? Whaaaaaaat? I LIED somewhere? Huh...I guess I better watch that. *shot*
But seriously though, if you need some critiquing, I'll be glad to give you one. Send a note or something. I'm usually pretty prompt when it comes to writing these.
Also, I noticed you added me to your watch list. How nice of you! 
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(99% truth, as in, I agreed with 99% of it...You didn't lie, lol xD)
Thanks for that!
Short version sounds good.....because I am that lazy when it comes to reading *shot* ._.
I think I have a few of my deviations with "critique requested' on them. Perhaps you could check those out? (though....from reading your critique....im kinda scared D
<333
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So you want me to critique you as well?
Alright I'll look for your newest deviation with critique enabled. Give me a few hours.
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Thanks ^^ But, i have been a little inactive on the uploading deviations side, so i'll note you perhaps when my newest work comes up that I would love a critique on ^^
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Sounds like a plan.
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wasn't sure accept it or not at the first,but it your opinion...soo I did.haha,I even guessed you're male
you wrote so much here,so I don't want to reply to everything here,anyway,thanks for suggestions.
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I try. I know it was a bit...brash at some parts, but it's all to help you out in the long run. Sorry if it caused some emotional trauma though. I never intend to insult anyone, but some people can't really take constructive criticism. And some honest opinions. Sad really.
I have a habit of writing a lot, sorry. Best to get everything than not.
Also what's that " 
Thanks for accepting it though, was afraid it would go to waste.
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ahaha,emotion trauma?ahah,surely it didn't.
and
and thank you for wasting your time on this^^ It's your opinion,and it's important for me anyway.
whatever positive it or not
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Oh I don't believe this was a waste of time. You got a critique, I got some pageviews and some motivation to do better with my art. Win-win situation if you ask me.
But anyway to help
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well..not waste of time.English isn't my native,so I just couldn't find another word
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And to think that could have been Snape....Dadgum you, Severus! Crap the dark arts--YOU CAN HAVE FREAKIN LILY EVANS!!! Aye....
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I think it's great! Darn, I wish I could draw backgrounds like that. Or any backgrounds at all.
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Hmmm, studying books or each other? Love it, as per usual
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*Studying ROMANCE~*
...
And all the kids in the theater be like "EYEUCK!"
Parents: "That's my kid." :3
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The atmosphere of the room, woodcraft, the tones of brown and red and the intimacy at the heart of all. It takes a lot skill to do these but I'm not sure that only the skills are capable of produce such lovely images. I believe you've got a wonderful soul, so doesΒ percolates such amazing dreams.
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Hi, i have a Danish Book blog, where i'm currently writing about how books and fan-art can compliment each other, in a very wonderful way. I was wondering if I could use your beautiful drawing as an example. I will of cause link to your account here on deviantart, and that with a great thanks.Β
I am hoping to hear from you.
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OMG, I'm rewatching these pictures again and my heart aches everytimeD8. Their love is so beautiful, Lily is perfect girl and she falls in love to ass-behaving dude James who's obsessed about her. And I think it's funny because you see that everyday in high school/college or in any school. And people thinks the boy's behaviour is pathetic. And it is. I think James knows it. But he's in love.Β
=Rowling is a genius.Β
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This is one of my favourite for this life!
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Mmmmhmmm, studying... ok... ok Potter you are excused...- McGonagall lol
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"studying" hahah lol i kid. totally great
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Jeez, I can't get over your style; it's absolutely amazing. I love the colors you use for the drawings, how the expressions are portrayed - it's just wonderful. 
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This is so beautiful... <3
And I know the feeling of studying and being... distracted. xP It's nice if you don't have a text the next day haha XD
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JAMES??? Studying??Where in the world are we??
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maybe I'm creeping, but I absolutely love your art... and this picture actually reminds me of my boyfriend and I 
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Is that what people call studying? Great Work.
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I love it! They are so in love and made for each other!
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Lily and James.
My favorite couple. Great execution. <3
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