Comments: 18
windwater [2007-08-20 15:39:04 +0000 UTC]
i must say i very much like the twist at the end ^_^ at first it seemed like a regular old story but then it got interesting ^_^
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batousaijin [2007-08-13 02:36:50 +0000 UTC]
i like the ambiguity on who's the traitor and who's the patriot. i thought that was a nice touch.
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vix0r In reply to batousaijin [2007-08-13 13:45:20 +0000 UTC]
Thanks! I also liked the idea of spending most of the story thinking of Chastity as the protagonist, only to have that thrown into question at the end. I'm glad you liked it!
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SirNaelyan [2007-07-27 01:09:33 +0000 UTC]
OOooh. Nicely written. A very small portrait in itself of two people, who are just faking it. I wonder if Randy has caught on at all...hm. Yes. Interesting.
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vix0r In reply to Midnight-Waltz [2007-07-23 21:15:26 +0000 UTC]
Haha! Well, thanks. It's always been one of my life goals to write something more appealing than a bed of crispy greens.
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Hindered-mind [2007-07-23 02:40:59 +0000 UTC]
It's interesting but the picture plays a humble role compared to the rest of the action happening in the story that keeps grabbing my attention
Nicely done
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vix0r In reply to ThornyEnglishRose [2007-07-22 18:43:07 +0000 UTC]
Y'know, it did occur to me, in passing, that I was naming the female lead "Chastity" and, seperately, that I was naming the male lead "Randy," both of which can have connotations... But I didn't do it intentionally, actually! It didn't even occur to me until now that I have them both named things that could have to do with sexuality, and that Randy tries to pursue Chastity and she shoots him down (in more ways than one)...
Weird. I wonder if this was just my subconscious (which already knew where the story was going) giving me obvious cues when I was trying to name them. Ah well, I think it works... and Randy doesn't really have any connotation in America as I imagine it does in the UK.
And yes, it's always good (well, sometimes good) to have your readers wanting to know more.
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Silica-Streak [2007-07-21 20:44:17 +0000 UTC]
I really like this one, much better than your latest.
I'm not sure why I like this one so much, but I do know that the imagery I got in my mind was fantastic.
I'd say a perfect ten.
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