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vix0r — Untitled Haiku the First

Published: 2006-06-05 02:15:23 +0000 UTC; Views: 127; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 5
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Description spring water ripples
outward to infinity
blazing past the stars
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Comments: 8

paintergurlie [2006-06-05 21:15:01 +0000 UTC]

I think this be very pretty. Maybe Dancing Light for this one

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vix0r In reply to paintergurlie [2006-06-06 02:06:26 +0000 UTC]

Hmmm... that's a nice name, but I don't think it fits this poem... buuuut, I can't think of anything better, so I'm going to hold onto it just in case

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paintergurlie In reply to vix0r [2006-06-06 02:47:52 +0000 UTC]

that's cool,, I never thought of following the poem duh

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vix0r In reply to paintergurlie [2006-06-06 02:58:03 +0000 UTC]

Heh actually, none of the photographs are mine, they're just images I yoinked out of Google when posting my poetry to complement the poems!

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paintergurlie In reply to vix0r [2006-06-06 03:07:20 +0000 UTC]

OMG I am an idiot, I read all of the poems but didn't think of the names for the poems but for the photos

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vix0r In reply to paintergurlie [2006-06-06 04:06:48 +0000 UTC]

it's fine, most of them work since I was choosing a picture based on my feelings of the poem anyway! There, there...

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ThornyEnglishRose [2006-06-05 13:02:27 +0000 UTC]

Haikus are tricky - how are you supposed to write something amazing and poignant in only nineteen syllables?? My creative writing teacher says that haiku has to focus on image, and I think the imagery in this one is really strong. Powerful ending particularly - the water goes from the slightly cliched 'rippling' to the totally original 'blazing', and elevating it above the stars is just wonderful.

👍: 0 ⏩: 1

vix0r In reply to ThornyEnglishRose [2006-06-05 13:58:17 +0000 UTC]

I agree- Haikus are fantastically difficult to do well. I guess I'm a little critical of my own, but that's just how I roll.

Thanks so much. Another fun question is: is the water elevated above the stars, or are the stars brought down to the water?

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