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wernstrum — Rock
Published: 2003-10-04 20:08:56 +0000 UTC; Views: 783; Favourites: 7; Downloads: 772
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Description
Rock
sun down-
gathering 'round
gallery rock
stuffed shirt at
flushed floozy by
craft connoisseur
at art assume
imprudent inference
counterfeit reverence
embittered tittering
metaphor filtering
rock
suns downed
gallery gone
audience dust
lights out
rock laughs
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Comments: 24
This reminds me of an article I read in yesterday's L.A. Times, a review of an art exibition. The artist had made five identical copies of the famous bust of Nefertiti, had painted each a different color, stuck them in a row, and proclaimed "his" piece a study in race relations. The reviewer, pretentious as the artist, proclaimed it a masterpiece.
I like this poem, regardless of the style. It rather reminds me of TS Eliot and Pete Townshend all at once, the way it flows and the rhymes you chose. Good stuff here.
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and the rock lives forever! mwahaha!
I get the feeling that thier efforts are futile and then time passes and stuff. maybe i'm just a down person.
um... what? where am i?
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On basis of contemporary connotation, I was thinking rock-star. Laughing too, before you suggested that the rock was doing such when maybe we aren't looking.
I must say that the minimalistic approach has much to say for. Enjoyed this much.
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Very Very clever. I actually liked the vocabulary that you chose. I like how it made me feel and thats what I feel is important. Good work! 
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"rock laughs" is perfect. no need for further comment. id like to be a rock, but i think eventually, laughing at the people would simply become depressing..
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lol, very very clever, there was this bit in a magazine once, art, and just photos of crap, and you had to guess which was 'art' and which was just crap. 9/10 times i got it wrong.
excellent poem, wonderful wording, complex, yet very digestable. wonderful
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i hate to sound redundant, but very clever piece. It was fun to pull the lines apart, it almost felt like a game. glad to see that your creativity refuses to yield as mine has done of late.
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Well I like that. Good flow, imagery and rhyme scheme. Well put together.
~Blessed Be~*~Phoenix~
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that is a very interesting / creative style. I love it. I would suggest commas and such but I like it how you put it. Great job!
-Jenny
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if there were ever a defining poem of genius this would have to be it
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sun down-
gathering 'round
gallery rock
^'gather 'round' would sound better to me? but maybe there's something i missed. 
as well as the over all image. Feels like i've seen this rock before im some museum. you did a good job with this taking the reader to where the rock is without any specific notifications.
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the picture is GREAT heheh and so is the poem~^_^
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Puts me in mind of my piece THE SOPHISTICATES [link] . I loathe pretentiousness and opinionated 'arty' people.
Rocks are far nicer beings ....
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Lovely alliteration and I enjoy the minimalistic style...
But my favourite part is the personification because I love to do that in my own work...I just think it's great
Valar.
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Fey said it all... sorry. I really enjoyed the read!
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For some reason I find this poem very amusing. I think it's the craziness of an anthropomorphised rock that gets to me. (I think it might be because it reminds me of this sort of thing: [link] and [link] )
The only things I would fix are
suns downed <- sun's
For the stanza below, the short, sharp words at the end of each of the first two lines are assets because they give the sense of a contempuous 'spitting out' of words, which is appropriate for the theme here. So, I would do this for the second two lines as well (if possible).
stuffed shirt at
flushed floozy by
craft connoisseur
at art assume
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wow! i really like this style!
sorry i couldnt say more but my vocabulary is severely stunted..
but really, i like this alot!
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