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Windy999 — Silly Fact No22
Published: 2004-07-31 10:13:54 +0000 UTC; Views: 2654; Favourites: 24; Downloads: 365
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Apologies to all the Americans for the steriotypical tourist but I just couldn't resist!It was either that or Uncle Sam!
Is it that Americans need to be a bit more careful around bathroom funiture or are US toilets just more malicious than European ones?
Just keep away from those dark alleyways!
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Comments: 130
One thing that may account for such a high number of injuries by toilets in America might have to do with the high number of idiots in America. The high number of idiots in America might have to do with two things.
1. Good medical care that keeps people alive/able to reproduce after they do something incredibly stupid.
2. Smart people use condoms, idiots don't, and nerds tend to have trouble getting any loving at all.
Think about those two things and how they factor into Darwin's theory of evolution.
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LMAO!!!!! This so reminds me of a story...... I was at a party one night when....
"Hey Eve," *Jake yelled over the commotion, "Have you seen *Sam? He still owes me a game of Halo but I can't find the bastard."
I turn from talking with *Mike, "Last time I saw him he wasn't feeling to well. Maybe you finally broke him and he's in the bathroom." Jake has one of the highest alcohol tolerances from anyone else I know. He loves challenging the other guys in drinking games. Sam being the newest member of the crew, and is his first party with us, the drinking games evolved into a proverse initiation. Sam was good, he definatly gave Jake a run for his money, but he had politely bowed out in the end to two double shots of Everclear.
Mike piped up, "Yeah, I saw him heading that way a couple of minuets ago."
So Mike, Jake, and I trooped to the bathroom to see if we could find Sam. As we approached from down the hall we could see light spilling from the bathroom door, which was cracked a bit, into the dark hallway. Our pace quicken slightly as there was definatly someone in the bathroom. As we closed and left the intense noises of the party behind us, we were met with the stench of puke and the sound of heaving. We pushed the door open and caught Sam kneeling prone over the toilet, his body wracked with the force of dry heaves.
He turned to us after that particular bout of heaves and said meekly, "I think I had to much." He promptly turned back to the toilet with another bout of heaves starting. Mike and Jake were grinning and just shaking their heads at Sam's expense but I was the one to see the toilet seat, which had been put up, seem to take on a life of its own. It started to close, very slowly at first, but picked up speed at an alarming rate. I watched in a mixture of horror and amazement as it slammed down into the back of Sam's unprotected head, knocking him face first into the puke water.
Mike, Jake, and I burst into uncontrolable laughter. Sam panicked at suddenly being underwater and being slightly dazed from being hit in the back of the head. He started flailing around, splashing the polluted liquid everywhere, making us laugh even harder. He managed to lift the toilet seat back up and dislodge his head from the depths of the toilet bowl to give us the evilest of glares. By this point Mike was on the ground, his laughter causing his legs to give out. Jake had doubled over and I was using the doorframe as support.
Sam was turning bright red from embarrasement and was muttering, "itsnotfunny." as Jake and Mike stumbled off to inform the rest of the party of Sam's misshap. I stayed, still chorkeling to myself, to help Sam clean up himself and the bathroom.
*names changed
Sorry for the long post... But I'm at work and have nothing better to do. 
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Ha!
It certainly does!
Many many thanks
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0o *locks bathroom door*
I don't know anyone who has actually been injured by a toilet. Just the opposite really. Once my friend Ryan accidentally broke his with a sledge hammer while remodeling his bathroom.
No wonder toilets want revenge!
And I'm not offended by your little American tourist. He's too funny to be offensive!
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THat's what comes to my mind when i think of America. 
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oO. heehee thats so funny. i love the silly facts, theyre so funny ^^
and the deviant labels, too but ive only seen a few of them.
I faved this and im gonna watch you. youre such a great cartoonist.
oDd Fact: You probably know that polar bears have black skin, but did you know they're fur is transluctant? It gets its colour from the snow.
(sorry if youve already seen/made something out of this, i havent seen all your deviations, (but i will!)
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Actually, it's not that far off. Our toilets are vicious, rude, and sometimes filled with basketballs (true story, this is)! I avoid strange commodes at all costs. Which, of course, means I have truly gifted bladder control if you've ever been to a public restroom in Manhattan.
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My friend's mum doesn't go for No2s in a foreign toilet - she'll hold it for 7-10 days!
(I wouldn't like to be around when she gets back)
Thanks a lot
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No problem. Fortunately, I haven't had to go without for that long, but that's more than anybody needs to know. ^^
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well, i don't blame those toilets for being vengeful! just think about what they spend all their time doing! 
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*looks slowly into the bathroom* Please don't hurt me toilet, I love you!
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Nah - toilets like drunks - it's the only time they get hugged
Thanks
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LOL, hah, this is excellent. Well done sir, i love the guy's look. You've got a great funny gallery here, keep it up. Meantime, you go on my watch list.
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Haha lovely! Another fun fact for you: Nearly 9,000 people each year fall victim to toothpick related accidents. I steer clear of those buggers nowadays...
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Ah, Snapple bottle caps. An endless source of information...
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XD oi, I hate those tourists. Even in our own country you get people like that. And about our malicious WC's hmm...we do have an astounding amount of belemic(sp?) people and with our deep fried fat covered in fat with a side of fat foods, there are lotsa food-poisoned 'victims'. So yus, we head for teh ole' crapper, and gonk our heads x__x;
Also we can be careless and randomly slip and hit our head, arm, toe... But that's just my theory.
I personally think this ish a funneh fact, adding to my favourites definitly
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Thanks a lot
Those toilets are lethal!
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its probably cause thats where americans head to to puke. toliet smacks em for it
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Toilet lid slams down!
(ouch)
Many thanks!
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i realize us americans are pretty dumb, but i think its more of a drunk problem
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I think you might be right!
Thanks
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i realize us americans are pretty dumb, but i think its more of a drunk problem
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That's evolootion for you - survival of the fittest!
Thanks
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That is funny, and I can believe it. As an American, I'm glad you didn't use Uncle Sam.
My own theory on the accidents is that drunks bash their heads on the rims when they go to upchuck.
~SanguineousRex
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Uncle Sam was too hard to draw!
Thanks
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and 27% of them think billboards are beautiful.....well, so i was told
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I think that I will never see
A billboard as lovely as a tree
In fact unless the billboards fall
I'll never see a tree at all!
Can't remember who wrote that - but it's true!
Thanks a lot
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yeah, i'd agree with that......unless it was a billboar of a tree? no, that just wouldn't be the same
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ok. first of all i have to say that i live in Europe. i have also lived in the US but i was never accosted by the loo. HOWEVER. the first time i used the loo in Europe the lid smacked down on my hand 
you know, the way you've shaded the flowers on his shirt almost makes them look like they're embossed 
next week: toilet gangs hit the urban streets to pillage and plunder!!!
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You can always depend on a Brit to do a toilet gag!
Perhapse the European loos wait for American tourists before they attck!?
Thanks a lot
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Toilets are very vicious.... especialy these american ones. They bite.
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You want to meet the urinals - nasty bunch!
Thanks
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lmfaooooooooooooooo - there is something so wrong with you that just seems so right....
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Ooo you know how to make a fellow blush!
Thanks
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Love your potty humor!!!! I have never been hurt by a toilet!!
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They're just biding their time!
Thanks
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Yeah, that's what scares me!! lol After all....I am American!
Most welcome!
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LMAO!!!! 
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I do like to be original!
Thanks a lot!
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XDXD
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I know some seedy bars where you can hire toilets if you want a hit done!
Thanks
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