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YouInventedMe — cold
Published: 2005-10-17 19:43:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 1657; Favourites: 63; Downloads: 29
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Description
When it gets cold outshe gets tired;
I can't say I blame her.
It's so much easier
to take comfort
in the dark,
beneath warm bodies
and whispered promises.
It's so much easier
to lie still
and cover your head.
The cold brings out
the matchstick men;
all ready to alight,
to warm your heart.
To take it.
To burn it.
Eventually,
the world moves on.
Eventually,
it gets easier to go outside.
Let's try not to set ourselves on
fire, in the meantime.
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Comments: 74
I'd like a heart of dirt more
packed and happy!
Spring is definitely past due.
Beautiful. 
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i could say "stunning" and go: but i'm crying so i thought i'd let you know both. thank you, Shane, i rarely cry like this.
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'when there's nothing left to burn you have to set yourself on fire.'
an interesting piece.
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that if it could only perish once, from what I have known of you, I'd hope the world would end in fire, and brighter on the view.
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have you heard the song "i love you, let's light ourselves on fire"? that's what this reminds me of.
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I do not know this song, but I would like to.
help?
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the matchstick men - it feels like an indictment (of me), lol.
i love this Shane. one of the best i've read from you.
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thanks. I'm always surprised when old pieces
like this get love.
much obliged, shaneshane.
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I really like where you went with this, but due to scrolling I accidentally read it as if it finished like this:
When it gets cold out
she gets tired;
I can't say I blame her.
It's so much easier
to take comfort
in the dark,
beneath warm bodies
and whispered promises.
It's so much easier
to lie still
and cover your head.
The cold brings out
the matchstick men;
all ready to alight,
to warm your heart.
To take it.
To burn it.
Eventually,
the world moves on.
Which left me a heavy THUD in my tummy. A good, healthy, I-was-just-moved kind of ill. So thanks.
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i don't know why, but i found the ending too contrite. the beginning was wonderful, the middle pure ecstasy and the matchstick men ingenious. but the ending... too sudden, too abrupt... too cynical.
it actually hurt.
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interesting. always appreciate the input.
thanks!
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i missed you, good sir.
this, what a shock, is lovely.
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thanks, love. lately, I haven't been on DA
nearly as much as I used to be. glad you enjoyed
this older edit; new piece on Monday.
<3
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it's okay, life happens. we can't all always live on a website. or so i head.
oh, looking forward to that!
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thanks. always appreciate the love on these old pieces.
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you have the sort of simple, yet composite meaning behind all your pieces that I wish I could wrap my own style around.
although I feel like the comma in the last line shouldn't be there.
love the overrunning motif of the temperature metaphor.
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thanks. this piece is actually one of my first
bits of writing. well, it was written in the first
few months I started writing regularly.
I'm always interested in hearing people's reactions
to the super old stuff. that's one of the reasons
I dust these things off.
I've been spit shining pieces from the very start of
my gallery and moving forward. to word edits or anything.
mostly just typos & spacing. frankly, I'm still at a point
in my gallery where a lot of it makes me cringe, but going
through slowly like this is like watching my own style
develop. (one of the other reasons I'm going through my
gallery. ha.)
anyway, appreciate the input.
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seeing the progress you've made is always an ego-boost (once you get over the initial cringe of "oh my GOD I showed that to PEOPLE?")
my FIRST first bits of writing are too absurdly idiotic to foist upon the innocent public eye, but every once in a while I revamp something from a year or so back. sometimes you have thoughts that are worthwhile, but at the time you have no idea how to give them that punch and impact--sometimes revision works for me, sometimes it doesn't.
keep it up. = )
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Weird, just today I was thinking about writing a story in which a particularly important character sets himself on fire. Perhaps a bit more literal than what you're going for, just thought I'd share.
My point: Awesome, as always.
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I wonder what would happen if someone wrote a book of concluding lines. I love how you let words settle. ^-^
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Sometimes things don't get easier.
Good piece.
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The cold brings out
the matchstick men;
all ready to alight,
to warm your heart.
you say such lovely, lovely things, Shane
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thank you, love.
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absolutely love it. comes across differently than your newer stuff but it's still gorgeous and impactful and iloveit
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at "matchstick men" i for some reason got the image of the brooms marching in the sorcerer's apprentice portion of fantasia.
great piece.
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haha. very nice! thank you.
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This is wonderful! i got directly tearful after reading this! and no, of course your age and the date when you wrote this doesn't matter!
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