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YouInventedMe — confession flavored
Published: 2009-02-26 20:04:45 +0000 UTC; Views: 3040; Favourites: 125; Downloads: 23
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Description
we made love long-distanceand not-quite-leaving
an art form
my forlorn reflection
and her quiet
storm flickering
freezing
a frame
all unfocused
we've been
hushed and
soft spoken
bits wed to
pieces in piles
of broken
parts
(between
miles
and memory)
see
his story
makes
the most
of
history
while hers
prefers
to masquerade
as mystery
and no intention's
path
is what
it appears
to be
truth is
I'm no
angel
she just
scares
the
hell
out of me
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Comments: 198
beautiful. i can't decipher it line by line, but i find that i don't want to. i'm content with the way it speaks to my heart.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
marvelous. thank you very much.
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haha. genius.
from start to finish, a-z,
i loved it. every bit of it.
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You thrower of mass identification bombs, watching us all melt into each other! You're a "word" terrorist : )
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
not yet, but we're hoping like
hell that she does.
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heres to the two of you.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
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I scare the hell out of him and I hate myself for it. He says it's not my fault. "You scare me because you make me happy." I don't do it on purpose... I'm sorry.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
In all honesty, I see absolutely no where this piece could get better. I read the first three lines, and literally, my first thought was, "this is perfect." Saying I love this piece doesn't even being to cover it. Nicely done
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This one.. kinda hits a bit too close to home. =\
Still a wonderful poem! Don't get me wrong. =]
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thank you and thank you
xo!
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his story
makes
the most
of
history
while hers
prefers
to masquerade
as mystery
Totally made me smile, pal.
👍: 0 ⏩: 2
that part has a beautiful rhythm to it.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
xo!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
oh lovely. lovely.
i think this is really well done.
(yes, almost everything you do is really well done, but this is tops)
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xo!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
nawww.. way cute. I love the lucidity of "her quiet storm flickering" and the little, clever play on his story and history, but this:
"while hers
prefers
to masquerade
as mystery"
and the last stanza friggin' melttttttttt meeeee
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
xo!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
his story
makes
the most
of
history
while hers
prefers
to masquerade
as mystery
your rhyme scheme is always so sneaky, yet beautifully fluid
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
his story
makes
the most
of
history
while hers
prefers
to masquerade
as mystery
MISS-teries?
This has a terrific rhythm... it reads like a soft, dreamy sigh, and complements the subject and the speaker so well. Also, loved this part:
my forlorn reflection
and her quiet
storm flickering
freezing
a frame
all unfocused
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
ms. teries, indeed.
and thank you very much.
xo!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
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