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yourparodies — Avengers assemble!!!
Published: 2012-04-25 14:50:28 +0000 UTC; Views: 7386; Favourites: 147; Downloads: 69
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You know, as far as superheroes go, some things are OK in a comic/cartoon enviroment, but feel off when you see them in a live-action movie.Case in point - while Hawkeye, Captain America, and Black Widow are more then capable against regular human enemies, they really can't do much against Big Tier enemies, like the ones they will face in the upcomming movie.
Especially, when you put them next to guys like Hulk, Thor and Ironman.Now obviously I'm not knocking the movie - as I look very much forward to it -, but when you look at some aspects as an adult, I'm sure you realise too that it's rather silly.
Like, why don't they give Ironman suit's to Black Widow, Cap, and Hawkeye? They would be much more effective, wouldn't they? Why is Hawkeye using an arrow? Guns are easier and faster to reload, etc...
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Comments: 41
Hawkeye is the greatest marksman in the Marvel universe
he sees something, he hits it
he took the Hulk down once by firing a gamma suppressor down his throat
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Well tehcnically Captain America does have powers, he is unsually strong and resilient and fast... so he sort of is superhuman... though perhaps not supernatural.. if that makes any sense.
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Hawkeye is there to make the masses happy. If all of them were supers than it would scare people. His arrows have an array of possibilities and can be directed unlike a bullet which goes straight.
Cap is a symbol of hope and triumph. He is honest and fights for the little guy. His shield can withstand a lot and he adapts it to suit the situation.
Black Widow is the woman. The interragator and spy. Enough said
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The problem is, Thor, Iron Man and Hulk are easy to make movies about : give them a super powerful enemy and watch the firework.
Black widow actually have super powers : she received the Russian version of the super-soldier serum, making her a female version of Captain America (Which is why she looks so young despite being about 70 years old). She has all of his talent, but was trained to be an assassin and a spy instead of a commander and a soldier. She needs a spy movie, or she needs to infiltrate the bad guys base while the others are fighting and disable security, plant explosives, take out the enemy commander or something.
Cap's biggest assets are his war experience and training, and his enhanced reaction time. He needs to be shown coming up with clever tactics, finding the enemies' weaknesses instead of just punching everyone.
Hawkeye is probably the hardest to put in a movie. Within comic books rules, he is pretty cool, his character works. But in an action movie? How many arrows can he keep in that quiver? And how fast are them? Give him futuristic guns, I don't know, like the ones from Mass Effect, they were pretty cool. And give him a jet pack. And a cool mask, and a wrist mounted flame thrower, and ... wait no, that's Boba Fett XD
Nice one though, I got a good laugh out of it. You should never fire the only woman on the team Cap, think before you talk XD
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Hmm I usualy like all these things you make but I cant agree on this one.
Steve rogers has much more than that. True in the movie they dont give it enough credit. It is mostly made to make iron man shine. But oh well. Steve has something very special that the others do not. Which is very visible in his own movie. Good planner, good heart, good leader and captain. The way he got that flag was brilliant!
Tony on the other hand gets way to much credit. He is awesome, he is also pretty selfish and sometimes even cruel. I remember how he was before he became iron man. A real big jerk. Steve before he was captain america was on of the kindest, brightes nicest good people ever despite his small body.
And from a girls point of view Steve is also hot lol. Then again all of the avangers are way to damn good looking for their own good.
Still I love that you make these things! Most of the time they crack me up.
I agree that Hawkeye also needs more respect. ALl of them are in the avangers for good reasons.
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" True in the movie they dont give it enough credit."
Well, this IS about the movie, so... ^^
" Good planner,"
I don't know. He didn't do anything impressive with planning. I mean his "plan" in Avengers was to tell his teammates what he would do anyway. Not much of a plan to me.
"he is also pretty selfish "
He may have an attitude, but I wouldn't call a guy selfish, who already has everything one could want, money, a girlfriend, (+ he could get even more girls if he wanted to), one of the biggest brains ever, success, etc, and yet he puts his own life at risk day by day to protect the world.
"I remember how he was before he became iron man. A real big jerk."
WAS being the keyword here. That's how character development works. It would be boring if his character stayed static all the way through, you can't rise to hero status like that.
Also, he gets the credit for what he does now, not what he did back then. That, and for being a billionair genius and so forth.
"Steve before he was captain america was on of the kindest, brightes nicest good people ever despite his small body."
I agree that he was a nice guy, but being nice does not really justify the "MIGHTIES HERO" title. Though to be honest he was kind of a dick to Tony too in the Avengers. I mean sure, he has a past, but he acted towards him like he was a selfish idiot, even thought in both Ironman 1 and 2 he already prooved that he would stand up for good even at the sake of his own life.
Even when he was dying, he was planning to leave the Ironman armor in good hands (Rodey), etc, so Cap is also pretty prejusticed sometimes.
So neither of them are angels, but this parody isn't making fun of their personality either, rather of their shortcommings in the "mighty" department.
"And from a girls point of view Steve is also hot lol."
I know. But Tony is not a girl ^_^
"Then again all of the avangers are way to damn good looking for their own good."
Especially Hulk ^_^
"I agree that Hawkeye also needs more respect. ALl of them are in the avangers for good reasons."
I know that they aren't useless, but it's still funny to me how on one side of the team, we have bigshots like Hulk, Thor and Ironman, and then the other half are basically regular humans with training. XD
Kinda puts the "EARTH'S MIGHTIES HEROES" thing into perspective, don't you think so? ^_^
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Yeah the Hulk is def the best looking one. Green is THE collour! He should get more screentime!
Kinda puts the "EARTH'S MIGHTIES HEROES" thing into perspective, don't you think so? ^_^
Fair enough
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black widow and captain have the serum (or at least a weaker version for her) to make them stronger and live longer.
Captain is the one who has experience in being in and leading a team as well? I think. And Shield know where to stand with him. very important. And his shield DOES manage to block Thor's hammer.
and black widow is not just here for her physical potential but for her brain as well. I mean, she is probably the best interogator on earth; the only one who manage to get one over Loki himself when she makes him 'admit' he was on the helicarier because of the Hulk. No other, not even Fury can say the same. And for all their scientific genius, neither Tony nor Bruce could have done it as well, psychology is HER forte. That's why she's the one shield send to meet Bruce. She's the sneaky one of the team, as needed as the heavy-hitters, since she's the one who can tell where to hit next. And she has the cunning to beat foes way stronger than her -just not in big macho one-to-one fight.
clint... well, clint could be more badass. True, he is the weakest of the team: not even a water-downed version of the serum for him like Natasha, they already have long-ranged fighters in Tony and, with his lightning, Thor. Even the Hulk can throw cars and captain can use his shield... But nothing as specific as Natasha's ability -which may not be missed at first if she was not here but make THE difference at strategic moments. Well, Clint his useful as... back-up? Or for minor foes.
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XD I died in the lols, however, hawkeye is the odd man out since widow and capt have the serum that is mentioned in the comic verse at least. o.o so all storylines considered, only hawkeye is the odd man out.
but that's just taking into consideration all things. exceptional human traits through the work of a serum doesn't make one a super. :3 therefor making captain america and black widow almost as bad as hawkeye >.< they still can only really do alot of damage against normal units and SOME supers. like how captain held his own against thor. how black widow manages barely to escape a raging angry hulk >.> that takes skeelz. xD
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Good thing the movie actually all of them useful in one way or another, instead of just including them for the sake of the title.
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I thought everyone was awesome. I'm not bashing your opinion or anything but I really don't see they problem with them having no powers.
Black Widow- A super spy, possible the best that can hold her own. Also, because she's the only girl and has to deal with and make sure she keeps everyone in check. But, she's also quite useful in my opinion. I mean, she could sneak bast barriers and such and gather important data. Everyone else would just go bashing in, following the old 'Shoot/Smash/Kill first, Questions later'
Hawkeye- Eye in the sky. And,the same with the comment below about his arrows. They seem a bit more reliable than bullets. Actually, I think arrows and bullets are on an even playing field, so no use bashing on it as theres no point if they're the same.
Captain America- A solider. If you saw the movie (and I dearly hope so as I'm going to give spoilers), Captain America gave most of the commands and planned most of the strategies. He planned most of the attacks on Loki and seemed the most compadent. If everyone else was on their own, I don't think they could have planned everything as best as him. They'd just run around, killing all enemies on sight without getting anything done. Maybe BlackWidow would take time to think. and hissheild is pretty useful too, as it can protect him from basically anything. And, he's stronger than everyone else. Maybe not Hulk and Thor exaggerated, but deffinetly better than Tony and HawkEye.
I hope I didn't make you mad or anything, but I just felt I should pitch in my two cents. I'm the type of person who has to give hers, even if you want the, or not
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" Also, because she's the only girl and has to deal with and make sure she keeps everyone in check."
To be honest, Furry did that job, not her. ^_^
"I mean, she could sneak bast barriers and such and gather important data."
Maybe, but she's not really one of "Earth's mighties heroes", to be honest. And I doubt she can sneek in anywhere where the Big Guys can't get into. They're not brainless either ;o)
"Eye in the sky."
...who's - again - only human level. While others have superhuman speed. Hawkeye is surely one of the best - if not the best - shooter but he's only human. no matter how good he is, he shouldn't be able to keep up with superhuman level beings , and anyone who has superspeed should be out of his league.
Not saying he's useless, just not on the same level, as the big three.
" They seem a bit more reliable than bullets. "
How?! ^^ They run out faster, are slower to reload, easier to catch, etc. I know he fires explosives and all, but still, arrows are outdated, no matter how you look at it, they'll never be as effective as modern weapons.
" no point if they're the same. "
But they're not the same. Hawkeye runs out fast out ammo, he can reload much, much slower then say, ironman can with his modern weapons, (which hawkeye could also use btw), and due to their long, slender form , they are easier to catch then bullets - which are small - , or energy weapsons (that explode if you touch them), so arrows are really on equal footing with modern warfare, no matter who shoots them.
"Captain America- A solider. If you saw the movie"
Yes, I have ^^
". He planned most of the attacks on Loki and seemed the most compadent."
But let's be real here - he only told the others obvious commands , things they would have done anyway on their own.
Hulk would smash anyway. Thor would use lighting anyway. They also know they have to get up and close the portal. And it's pretty obvious that Hawkeye can shoot best from hight ground. Even the hulk knows these things, let alone geniuses like Tony Stark - who may not be a soldier, but is one of the 8 smartest men on Earth, and is able to learn new crafts in just a night on a professional level - , Black Widow and Hawkeye also have more military training then he does, so yeah, not convinced there either ^^
" I don't think they could have planned everything as best as him. T"
So you honestly think that Hulk wouldn't smash?
That Thor wouldn't figure out to shoot lightning at the portal, even though he's a capable warrior thousands of years old and has done this 1000 times before?
Or that Hawkeye wouldn't know he needs high ground?
Or that they don't know that they need to try and close the portal?
Or that the cops wouldn't know they have to evaculate people?
Let's be honest, Cap didn't give any orders that weren't obvious. He only made people do what they normally do too.
And yet you make it sound like two trained soldiers, one of the smartes men on earth, and the god of thunder, the greatest warrior of Asgard, and the Hulk/Banner couldn't do anything without him, even though they only did their usual thing anyway after his commands. ^_^
Basically the fight would have been the same without him, if we're honest.
"and hissheild is pretty useful too, as it can protect him from basically anything"
It's useful, but he still gets hurt a lot, because he's just a guy with some powers. But as Stark put it, without his shield, he's not much. Sure, he is brave and his heart is in the right spot, but still, putting him on one team with Hulk, Stark and Thor is a bit much, if we're honest.
"nd, he's stronger than everyone else. Maybe not Hulk and Thor exaggerated, but deffinetly better than Tony "
Tony? Yes. Iron Man ? Hell no! And in battle, that's the only thing that counts. That , and Stark's enormous brain ^^
"I hope I didn't make you mad or anything, "
Of course not, you gave your opionion with respect and I hope I managed to do the same.
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"So you honestly think that Hulk wouldn't smash?"
Of course Hulk would smash without Cap! That was kind of why Steve's "order" to him was so funny; nobody orders the Hulk around! Steve showed he was aware of this in his "command" to Hulk, and that yet he still considered the Hulk part of the team, by including him in his orders.
"That Thor wouldn't figure out to shoot lightning at the portal, even though he's a capable warrior thousands of years old and has done this 1000 times before?"
Thor is a powerful warrior. But he is not necessarily a smart or cunning warrior. No, I don't think he would figure to shoot lightning at the portal, not right away, anyway. I think instead he would try to run down the aliens swarming through the city and ignore the portal. EVENTUALLY, yes, he would likely think, "Gee, they just keep coming! Maybe I should try striking at the source!" But not right away.
"Or that Hawkeye wouldn't know he needs high ground? "
Yes, Hawkeye would run for the high ground out of habit. But would he have immediately thought to use his perch to keep everyone - besides Natasha, the one he knows best - informed of what the aliens were doing?
"Or that the cops wouldn't know they have to evaculate people?"
Yes, the cops would have figured out that people needed to be evacuated - eventually. But not as soon as they needed to, in the way they needed to. New York was being invaded by aliens traveling through a portal; that's not something that cops usually have to deal with! They likely would have wasted considerable time trying to evacuate just one or two buildings or blocks, and contain the aliens in such small areas, unaware of how much of the city was already overrun until it was too late. Cap told them right at the start what was going on and exactly how large the area they needed to contain had to be.
Let's be honest, Cap didn't give any orders that weren't obvious... you make it sound like two trained soldiers, one of the smartest men on earth, and ... the greatest warrior of Asgard... couldn't do anything without him,"
Basically the fight would have been the same without him, if we're honest."
What Cap brings to the table isn't just his serum-enhanced strength and his shield; he brings his ability to strategize, to understand how others need to work together on the battlefield, to immediately come up with a workable plan to win the battle. He saw right from the start how everyone could best utilize their different strengths, and cover for each other's weaknesses in the fight. All the Avengers are great warriors (even Hawkeye), but they were all warriors used to working mostly solo. They had never worked all together before. Could they have figured it out on their own, without Cap? Yes - eventually. After wasting precious time and energy first muddling around.
And no, Tony wouldn't work as a substitute for Cap. Tony can build awesome weaponized machines, and figure, "I need this kind of gun to take down that enemy, and this rocket to take down THAT enemy," but that doesn't translate to automatically knowing how to command a diverse group with widely varying strengths and abilities, who don't use your weapons and armor to work with each other.
Having Cap ensured that the Avengers were able to IMMEDIATELY work together at peak levels of organized efficiency right when they most needed to.
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Alrighty then ^^
We've each pitch our two cents, lets leave it to the others. Thanks for listening
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oh jeez. dont worry Cap! i bash black widow for ya! she sucked!!
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I get how it seems silly about Black Widow and Hawkeye, but CA is a super soldier remember.
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But he is only peak-human, so not really super either. ^_^ Especially not super if you're on a team called "Earth's MIGHTIEST heroes", you know what I mean? ^_^
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You rule. You know that, right? You are freaking awesome.
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Well, I've been suspecting if for a while now, but it's always good to have confirmation ^_^
Thank you for the comment and I'm glad you enjoyed it
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A month later and I still love it. That's talent.
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Glad to hear that, thank you
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Woo! Can't wait for DVD, so gonna watch it about five times in a row. XD
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My only justification for arrows is that: a) he can "control" their path, while bullets would only go straight b) he can add "flavour" to arrows, like bombs, sleeping gas, freezing liquid. So he can kinda fight middle tier enemies (not that worm big tier though, but someone has to give support and evacuate civillians). Plus, using a bow adds +20 to stylish I hear.
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Actually Captain America doesn't really like to fight, he was a small skinny guy from brooklyn who wanted to serve along side the soldiers during world war II. He is more of a protector for the little guy because he knows what it was like to be the little guy. He ended up becoming a super solider and then well...he got frozen for 70 years so there's this big culture shock. Not many people see this. He's more of a defender which is why he always comes off as a solider, a solider defends his people. That is also why his weapon is a shield. He might not pack a big punch but considering that he was rushed into this lifestyle he's doing pretty well
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Hey there, just found the link on your blog. Hilarious image for Cap xD
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Hi there! Didn't know you were on here too
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Well, I'm mostly lurking and sometimes commenting, but don't really have anything, I could upload here^^"
Btw., what makes this especially funny, is, that I could totally see Tony Stark act like that xD
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Yes, that's part of the joke too. ^_^
In my opinion, a joke works the best, if it's totally in-character, or if it's very very out of character.
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True. And then there's genre savvyness and lampshade hanging^^
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they belittle hawkeye too much in the movie. he needs more respect
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glad you think the same way ^^
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Hawkeye's been my favorite since I first began to like the avengers when I was little, so naturally I get mad when ANYONE tries to belittle him or insult him.
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agreed although i just got into him the same day i got into the avengers which isn't far away.
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I wish this was facebook and there would be a "like"-button - I would hit it now!
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lol ikr, i would even like my own comment. still i rlly think they are underestimating clint.
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Exactly. And I think that's a shame, because he's a character who had to go through a lot of trouble in his past, which made him strong and I really think they should show him more respect in the movie...
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