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ypput — Na-Tahi Page 11
Published: 2007-12-18 00:09:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 7709; Favourites: 135; Downloads: 48
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Page 11...and so Calix story begins...its so exciting! I like this part of the story (Hope you will too) we get to see a bit of Estmar!Enjoy! I will start drawing page 12 tommorow
Page 1: [link]
Page 2: [link]
Page 3: [link]
Page 4: [link]
Page 5: [link]
Page 6: [link]
Page 7: [link]
Page 8: [link]
Page 9: [link]
Page 10: [link]
Page 11: Here
Page 12: [link]
Edit: Moved speech bubbes around a bit thankyou for a super helpful crit *Kiarei-star !
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Comments: 94
That Zalidar sure is pretty:3
This is gonna get exitiiing :3
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wowowowowoowoww. your comic is soo gourgous. wow.
;---;
wow. i really love this comic....its so...everything.
i love your work and bg's and wolves.
wow.
MEGA FAN NOW.
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Mmmmm, I like the story. There are just so many characters being introduced left and right I'm having a hard time keeping them straight. xD
Sometimes what I think you mean to be angry wolves look surprised from their eyebrows. D: Or maybe I'm just confused.
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Oh dear 
I know my expression are off
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Oh snap. xDD I always have trouble with recognizing characters, I'll just have to reread until I have them figured out. ^^
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These are so freakin' awesome! Great work, love the coloring and shading!
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Nice comic so far! I'll be checking back for more. 
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Thanks 
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This comic is excellent! The visuals are just as good as BBA and the story line is pretty dang close. Great job, I'll be checking back for updates!
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Thanks
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Your comic is very well done. You have a great sense for layout, interesting story, engaging characters, and your artwork is excellent. Saw it for the first time today and I'm glad I ran across it. Hope to see many more pages to come.
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Why thankyou!
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I really like your story! Keep the good work! It's very well done!
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This is very good, I can't wait for page 12.
I do have one critique, if you don't mind my saying.. The speech/story bubbles and boxes are arranged a bit oddly, in my opinion. I found myself reading, for example, the first story box before the speech bubble that was in panel 1, because it was so close to the top of the page (even though it was in panel 2.) For the same reason, I read "Captain Calix, report to me!" after I read Calix's response of "Yessir!"
Actually, it's easier with arrows.. 'n keep in mind, I'm by no means an expert and read things wrong all the time, but I thought it might be helpful to give some input. ^^
This is how I read it: [link]
After some thought, this is how I think it probably was meant to be read: [link]
Not very different, but the couple times I had to stop and think about which bubble should've been read first kind of made the page seem more like a comic page (displacing the reader from the story.) Suggestion for the future would be something like this: [link]
#1 would be the first speech bubble and the first story box combined into one speech bubble. That way, the transition to the story happens during panel 2, instead of between panels 1 and 2. Combining them as I did really is nitpicking, the transition in your version was very smooth (Kudos, that's difficult.) #2 is just a slightly moved background speech bubble. #3 is Calix's order from the brown wolf. #4 is his response.
I sometimes have my dad read pages of KE before I upload them and tell me what order he read the bubbles in.. 
Anyways, I hope this helps! Keep up the great work.
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Thanks
I see what you mean yes
With the arrows you put in its really easy to see the confusing parts. I always try and get it to read directly left to right to make it clear, but my bubble hieghts seem to be a bit confusing and the lines around the pannels lead the eye and so the bubbles are in the wrong palces.
I have tried to get my family to read my pages and help but the normal response "I am busy" or "Not more wolves" (I do love them but we all have our faults).
I will change the page in the ways you have suggested!
Thanks for all the help! I really do appreciate it, feel free to critique any part of any pages past or present!
I have a small request to make of you..... would you mind awfully if I showed you the next page (which is almost done yah!) and if you could critique it before I upload it here? If you are too busy thats fine, I know this time of year is just so hectic!
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Yay, I'm glad it was helpful. ^^ 'tis no problem at all, dA is great for artists to give others a hand and receive one. Your family sounds like it needs to sort out its priorities, aye? 
I wouldn't mind at all! In fact, I'd be more than happy to honor that request. Just upload it to photobucket or somethin' and note me a link to it, and I'll take a look. What sort of critique do you want, just on the speech bubbles?
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Well they do work hard to be fair to them ^^ Though it would be nice if they took an intereset once in a while. He he that say that as well!
Oh! Thankyou! You may critique any part you like; anything you spot that isn't right or is difficult to understand feel free to tell me bluntly. This will really help me thankyou so much!
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No problem at all! I like to help any way I can. ^^ Now I get to see pages early too, mwaha.
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I adore the story so far, the comic's well laid out and I can see you're wolves are improving with every page! keep it up!
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Thankyou
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You're welcome, and believeme, you're doing great!
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youve deffianely improved sence the first page ^^
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I LOVE This comic! The coloring and backrounds are just simply AMAZING!
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More more MOOOOORE!!!!!!!!!! *drool*
Exelent work!!!
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This has got to be your best yet 
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*pushes you back into your seat* please dont fall off!
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awesome! zalidar looks sooo cute in the last panal. i wanna huggle him
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Amazing! I love your backgrounds; you should think about doing a tutorial when you aren't busy
Definite 
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Ohh good idea I shall add that to my list, I plan on doing one for eyes ^^
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Ooh wow cool!
Good luck! ^^
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yay i gotsh a hug XD ._. co incidently my comic's back on track starting today
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yay! i love that you put zalidar in it!
now hurry away with you draw up the next one
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NEW PAGE!! YAAY!! can't wait for the next one!
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