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zlyoga — Seizure
Published: 2006-11-12 18:59:35 +0000 UTC; Views: 395; Favourites: 1; Downloads: 9
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Description
I am on a bench waiting for the library to open, reading some feminist magazine.34th between Park and Lexington
A guy stumbles in front of me about a yard away and crashes onto the ground
He drops his iced tea bottle and it shatters into pieces
He starts shaking really rapidly
At first I thought he was messing around with some friends.
Then blood starts oozing out of his head
And I'm like oh shit
Someone called 911
A crowd forms.
He passes out and stops moving for a bit
then wakes up and tries to walk away and everyone is telling him not to move
he tries to run
but stumbles
his ipod is on the ground covered in blood. I wonder if apple's warranty covers damage from blood.
someone helps him stop running away
his whole right side of his face is bloody
the ambulance is there within 5 minutes. If you're going to have a seizure it seems like in public in new york city is the best place (besides a hospital) to have it
The library opens and I get a libray card
10 minutes later when I leave the library the only trace left that anything had happened was a blood stain on the sidewalk
On the subway ride home some guy sneezed really hard and I jumped and thought he was having a seizure too. But he didnt. He was just sneezing.
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Comments: 5
Again, I love your informal way of writing like you're talking to the reader, it got me more involved with the story. I like your choice of fairly simple words, it amkes it seem more like a real event than just something you imagined. There are bits that made me smile, but I also found it thought-provoking.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
It was a real event
glad you liked it
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
But some poems make a real event seem unreal, you kept it realistic. Let me be impressed, dammit!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Such a simple and therefore evocative way of portraying a scary event! I love the simplicity of the ending especially, it's funny in a wry sort of way.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
