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Aisling88 — Arabian II
Published: 2007-11-09 16:48:09 +0000 UTC; Views: 553; Favourites: 13; Downloads: 0
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Description
It's been a while since I've last been drawing horses but I decided to get a break from messing around with drawing people and did two horse pictures within two days. Since the last time I made a full-blown pencil drawing of a horse was more than half a year ago, I'm quite relieved to see that I still can do it.
This, like the other picture, took me about 2 hours and was done with pencils.
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Comments: 6
I'm glad you like it!
And many thanks for the fav, I appreciate it.
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All your horse pictures are fantastic, but this one is amazing. Maybe because I love pencil drawings. They all look so lifelike, but this I expect to lift its head and neigh every time I watch the picture.
I can relate to you not being able to draw horses after yours died. I could not even look at them after mine died. It's nearly 14 years now, but I still miss him. He was so sweet... Gosh, starting to cry again here. Even after all this time...
Anyhow, great work. I wish I had your talent, but I can't draw at all...
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I can well understand you still missing your horse after such a long time. And Lady wasn't even my horse, just a school horse I saw once a week, and she still meant a lot to me - losing a horse you own and therefore see probably every day has to be so much harder.
On a happier note, I'm glad you like this picture, it is my favourite one as well!
As to not being able to draw: I'm one of those people who believe that drawing, like almost all things, is mostly a matter of practice. 
So if you really want to draw, you should try and practise (using picture references and tutorials as well as starting with very simple images helps a lot), and with enough patience you'll learn it.
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The yr that my dad died and in the following yr I lost a total of 6 people who were very near to my heart and I also went through a very ulgy divorce. A divorce which resulted in me giving up everything I had worked for in 11 yrs just to get it over with. The loss of my loved ones left me no reserves to fight my ex in court. Those two yrs were the blackest I ever experienced. My dad had always listen to music 24/7, and so did I. After he passed, I did not listen to any music for 2 yrs. So strong were my desires to avoid pain that I actually failed to notice the absence of the music, or understand why I was avoiding something, which in the past, had given me so much pleasure. My dad was the first to go, and the others followed in close enough session that there wasn't time to recover from one loss before another struck. After awhile I became just numb. Which I suppose was a survival, emotional response. As I guess your not drawing horses was.
In reality I spent more time and more energy and effort into avoiding the pain of loss that I drew myself deeper into depression. We do not heal from pain until we face it and experience it fully, without avoidance. By avoiding pain I lost all jy of living, music and the colors of nature, everything seemed gray.
Then one day, returning home from my barn, I actually noticed a beautiful sunset. I had previously been thinking of those I had lost. I parked the car, and walked out into the huge hayfield and watched until dark. While sitting there I thought of all the special gifts my loved ones gave me and how my avoidance of life was truly dishonoring the joy of life they are shared with deep conviction. I came home and listened to all my dad's favorite songs and cried my eyes out and then began to heal. That day was my turing point, as I guess that the day you decided to start drawing, was your turning point. I decided in that hayfield to force myself to find one thing each day that was beautiful in their honor. The pain of losing can make us grow or shrivel up avoiding the work it takes to heal ourseleves. The next day was a chore to find something I could appreciate, but by the end of the week I'd find numerous things. By a month time everything seemed brand new and I saw colors and details I never knew exsisted. That's when I began my photography. Each photo that I take is a gift from my lost loved ones.
Last May I lost my older brother very tragically and I started toward that downhill spirial again. It took me three months to let go of the anger and selfpity, and to kick myself in the butt. To this day, all of a sudden the pain hits like a thunder bolt, and I feel like I can't breath, but when it happens I remind myself why I am thankful for the pain because that means there was love there instead of indifference and I spend some inward time loving him, cherishing him, and it seems to help ease the pain.
It has always been in my experience, when life was the hardest, I have always gotten the most remarkable help from strangers, who later became steadfast friends. Fate is very ironic. If I could I would quickly remove the pain from your heart, but I can't, and only time and how you chose to view things can do that. But God knows, I know exactly where you are coming from.
When you feel up to it would you please draw Jahiel for me and in exchange I will draw something for you. What do you say? *wink* You can find his picture on my homepage.
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Wow, I never considered that this not drawing horses had to do something with Lady's death. But now that you mention it ... yes, after she died I found no joy in drawing horses anymore. Now that I think about it, it sounds very logical that I subconciously didn't concern myself with horses more than absolutely necessary in order to avoid the pain.
I'm very, very sorry for all those losses you had to suffer. Having lost Lady, I still can only start to imagine what you must have gone through.
Your story about your turning point was a beautiful one, though. It stirred some deep emotions and made me cry. I'm glad that things worked out for you like that.
You're right, feeling pain can be a good thing because it means you care. And I think accepting that you feel that pain is an important part of the healing process.
When Lady died, I only cried a little bit. I denied the pain for more than half a year, and it was very exhausting. Then, one day, I listended to the soundtrack of the film "Troy" and in one of the songs there was a line that said "Remember, I will still be here as long as you hold me in your memory" or something very similar to that.
And somehow, those words struck a chord in me and I sat down and, like you, cried my eyes out. And it was incredibly liberating to do so. And now, whenever the tears seem to be stuck inside me for some reason, I listen to that song and it helps me to let go.
The next day, I decided to refuse to forget Lady just because there was pain connected with the memories. She may be gone, but she doesn't deserve to be forgotten. I drew a picture of her then and felt much better all of a sudden. But I still didn't realize this was the turning point until I read your comment.
So, thank you a lot for sharing those experiences. Knowing that there are other people out there who lost someone dear to them and understand how I feel, knowing that I am not alone, helps a lot.
And I would love to draw Jahiel for you! It may take some time until I find the time to do it, but I'll let you know when it's done.
One question though: I could find only one picture of him, but it was a very beautiful one, so would you mind if I used it as a close reference for my picture? Because I think I'm not yet good enough to draw a specific horse and have it look like that horse when I'm not using a reference I can follow closely ...
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