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Allison-beriyani — The Moderator
Published: 2012-02-15 05:50:43 +0000 UTC; Views: 7592; Favourites: 218; Downloads: 22
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Description
And Now for a Special installment of the Internet fauna series: The Moderator.Previous: [link]
Next: [link]
Also Known as the Admin, or Staffies, the Mod is one of the few creatures on the internet that actually hunts trolls. As an apex predator, it actually feeds on drama of all kinds, and patrols vast stretches of internet in search of food. These territories are so large that it is rare for a Mod to actually be present at the site of a troll attack or other disturbances.
It hunts by watching for scuffles to arise between internet denizens and charges in while they are distracted, swinging the hard bony end of it's powerful tail, commonly known as a "banhammer" it's not a precise tool, however, and the troll's prey and innocent bystanders are likely to be hit as well as the trolls themselves.
While extremely powerful, the Mod is not invulnerable- Other Mods can and often do take them out, either to gain their territory or to stop the spread of God-syndrome, which is a fatal disease that causes them to behave excessively aggressively.
***Obligatory Parody Notice: This is a parody done for laughs, not referring the DA staff or any member of DA.***
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Comments: 83
i dont know y but this collection reminds me of silent hill
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Do admins of groups count as Minor Moderators?
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They're of the smaller species of the same Genus. There's also Chat Hosts, Software Admins, Forum leaders- literally any role with the ability to kick out (Banhammer) someone from a region of the internet.
Thank you for the insightful question!
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^w^ You're most welcome. Personally, I carry traits of the Fetishist, the Roleplayer, and a small mix of Troll and Go-To. As an admin of the Conjoined-Club, I may be a member of pack-based Moderators.
And I'm remembering the one time I got Post-4chan Stress Disorder. I cured it rather easily by satirizing the creepypasta I've read. ^^
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Fetishists are an important part of the internet ecosystem- they're also some of the oldest creatures around.
"Giggle at the Ghosties" if you will.
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Here's an addition: Moderator plumage is almost always kept immaculate, in case a special event like a contest or similar occurs. Moderators then show off their plumage to all other fauna, though when trolls and occassionally critiquers talk about issues the site may be having, they tend to become aggressive and wield the ever-present banhammer.
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It would have to be immaculate- can't go around with the blood of other users rotting on oneself, can you?
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Indeed no, considering the impressive mating displays that moderators do, rotting blood tends to detract from the overall appearance, and female moderators have a keen sense of smell!
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I'm not up on the mating displays of moderators, as I'm usually in poorly patrolled areas studying troops of trolls.
Do they dance? offer up fresh kills? sing?
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Normally the mating displays feature banners, and huge journals. Contests are not uncommon and usually individual displays involve copious feather-ruffling. Weirdly enough, females tend to be more vividly coloured than males.
Occassionally males will challenge each other, and standard users must be careful not to get caught in their scuffles
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Who needs arms when you can bludgeon or swallow anything?
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To use tools, To grab things, and to get itself back up after a fall.
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ohgod
Let me say I love how the Moderator looks and it's like a giant combo of a bunch of my favorite animals
And don't forget it doesn't consider flat-out yiff to need a mature tag c:
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Allosaur/Hoatzin/deer?
Misssing Mature tags are usually a sign of a poorly-patrolled territory, but in some cases it is a sign of a rabid moderator. Avoid the area regardless.
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Sounds awesome
Alright XD
You should make a picture with all of the internet fauna in their habitats XD
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My general creative process went :T-rex+Qetzalcoatal+Eastern Dragon= ... hay, that looks pretty good!
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Thanks! I had fun with his design.
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Now, now- we don't make death threats over the internet- that turns us into stupid hate-ogres.
and we do need moderators to take care of thieves, hate-ogres and rabid trolls.
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Ever seen an ankylosaur? It was the first thing I thought of the first time I heard the term.
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ooooh righht it does kinda look like one (the tail)
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yeah, that must be it.
so awesome.
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Because they're awesome?
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Don't forget the ridiculous amount of policies and rules they use to controll their territories!
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Most of that is defense against 'Lawyer' parasites, a dangerous affliction to mods and internet critters in general.
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They have a designated page, but I won't be able to get to them until after mid-terms.
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GSDGSDGHSDFSHSDGSDFSDFGSF IS IT THERE YET?
IS IT THERE YET NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
AND NOW?
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You will see it when it comes.
in like, three weeks or so.
Think of it as waiting for Christmas presents, but in march.
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Actually, he just has tiny little stubby arms that are hidden by his plumage.
But yes, it does kinda look like that...
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I'm just messing with you that's all.
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Aha!
Someone else said that too, right before you.
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As I'm a member of this species, I find this to be very funny
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