Comments: 45
withL0VE [2012-05-04 06:45:59 +0000 UTC]
so wonderful. really the most powerful thing i've read in a while. i usually don't like rhyming poetry but you used it so well in this!
"Nemesister, teach me madness,
teach me freedom. Let me loose
control."
aah! you're fantastic
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i-am-a-bridgewalker [2011-06-22 02:16:38 +0000 UTC]
making desecration beautiful is an admirable pastime.
kudos. this is spellbinding.
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TwistedAlyx [2011-02-16 03:46:11 +0000 UTC]
Oh baby, oh baby.
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AElfrics-Cat [2011-02-09 22:25:33 +0000 UTC]
This is incredible. I'm going to have to come back to this to give it a comment that does it justice - I'm far too shattered to write coherent shiny things right now - but I will say that your structure is excellent. Yes, it's free-verse, but it's so cleverly balanced with internal rhythym and rhyme that it's far more lyrical than any fixed form. There's so much to take from this. Loving the glimpse of "religion" in the penultimate verse, but the portmanteau of "Nemesister" is just genius. Awesome!
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IndigoSkyes [2011-01-30 17:12:17 +0000 UTC]
Your work is always so beautiful.
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Lazuleaf [2011-01-29 00:58:59 +0000 UTC]
I like this one bast - it must be the storm images.
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FuzzyHoser [2011-01-28 15:28:57 +0000 UTC]
The rhythm to this is beyong amazing, by the way. Furthermore, it holds the feeling the whole way through...building up until that last bit that just stops..with such a lovely impact.
Brilliant writing, you're very talented. (:
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FuzzyHoser In reply to angel-in-pieces [2011-01-31 04:44:33 +0000 UTC]
You're welcome so much!
I meant it totally and completely. (:
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smicket [2011-01-28 14:01:11 +0000 UTC]
Oh my gosh, I really, REALLY love this one and I can't explain why... It's so beautiful, the words, rhymes, imagery... Serious love.
"I'd follow you to the depths of my chest" THAT is an amazing line right there.
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DamagedHomewrecker [2011-01-27 22:03:18 +0000 UTC]
this is beautiful and i loooooooooooove the placement of the very last word<3
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Avallynh [2011-01-27 18:20:14 +0000 UTC]
Oooh, I spotted one thing, though: In the last stanza, should it not be 'lose' as opposed to 'loose'?
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Avallynh [2011-01-27 18:16:07 +0000 UTC]
WOW.
When I read this the first time, I felt like I just got sucked up in a vortex and then spat back out again. Second time, I saw skies dimming and storms breaking and beautiful dissolution.
Third time, I decided I would never get tired of reading it over and over.
This is one of the best things you've ever written, in my humble opinion. I LOVE it to bits. Every single perfect word of it.
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