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archelyxs — Confluence
Published: 2013-02-17 08:00:51 +0000 UTC; Views: 1183; Favourites: 33; Downloads: 4
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Description
According to the old religion, a scribemust bathe in natural running water
before she draws what is dictated to her,
because writing's just like cleaning a mirror,
she says, it's like rearranging stains
left on wholesome rivers. For three nights,
I drew geometric shapes in the margins;
I had been instructed to take notes on
the underside of snow, and how it colonized
the lithosphere, musically and without hurt.
It felt like a call, but it wasn't a calling.
The paper was made in Himalayan foothills
by a woman who had cleansed knots from fibrous bark
and dipped her bleached hands into boiling water.
I mangled the page into a cottage, then a castle;
for I imagine that the grime of Dublin
could fold me up into my questions. But to give
creative attention is always an act of love,
and the most sincere. You have always known that
only at the fringes of the intellect
can love become voice. So may
it all be fringes and love
its nonexistence, but not yet, not yet.
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Comments: 56
And I could live in yours, love!
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This is beautiful and true. I love the old imagery and the worldly configurations are divine. :]
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"edit: messed with the last sentence and its lineation. tried to make it sound less ugly."
So may it all be fringes
and love its nonexistence
but not yet
not yet.
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I like the rhythm of it; I'm not certain it says exactly what you want to say.
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I get scared when I see you've changed one that I have known. You haven't changed it too much that I am nostalgic for what used to be
"not yet, not yet"
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Indeed, yes, not yet. I still have some issues with the logic of the piece, especially in the first and second stanzas, but I don't think I'll do anything with them just yet... maybe another time, but I think to do that I might need a huge overhaul, and I love the sound quality of these places too much to risk injuring it right now. We'll see.
Revising always makes me nervous too! Especially when it's on a piece that people love. I feel a bit like I'm being inconsiderate to those who like the original form of a piece. I hope that people understand that I change things because I have to, not because I want to...
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I feel for you.
I'm different .. I write for a few minutes duration, and whatever is there is there. I'll only make minor edits, spelling mistakes, punctuation. Then I move on, and I don't look back. I'm never happy with them, but I just write something else. (having said that, I don't write to be published, so it doesn't matter so much)
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Yes! I sometimes do that too... I don't post it on here because it's usually meaningless and angsty and generally horrible. I'm amazed at writers who can produce objects of truth and beauty in one sitting - it takes me forever to write one line. I'm working on a seven-part poem now and I've been working on it since I've been home and it's still sparse and needs lots and lots of filling in. Poetry is so hard!
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I have those too (the horrible ones) - I rarely know what is coming out of myself in poetry until I sit back and see what I wrote. I really need to go back and delete so much, but what a job.
Seven-part - that is an epic undertaking. I am too lazy I suppose. But then, it takes so much effort to approach the poems you know you need to write but you don't know how, the (non-effortless ones). I applaud you for striving into the unwritten realms!
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You don't have to delete anything! Really! You're one of the most effortlessly brilliant writers here - keep that in mind love!
Ah, yes, they are short parts. I don't know what to do with them yet. I'm like halfway done. I can't think straight most of the time so I don't really have any full plans.
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Hehe thanks, I have to laugh a little, your message teased a new poem out of me
The parts - they will shape themselves. Trust in that.
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I am so glad! And... we'll see. The writing is really slow nowadays.
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you are right about dublin. i used to live there. it's a strange place. it might be able to do that.
also
to give creative attention is always an act of love
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Of course you used to live in Dublin!!
Can I note you with some questions about it? I'm trying to save up enough money to study abroad there next year.
Thanks as always for your attention, love.
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yeah, certainly. it was kind of a while ago but we can still talk about it if you want.
i hope it works out for you. <3
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Your fantastic work has been featured in Friday Night Features .
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Thank you so much! It's always an honor
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"I had been instructed to take notes on
the underside of snow, and how it colonized
the lithosphere, musically and without hurt."
i love this, and you.
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Thanks, love. Always.
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This is just a friendly little note to let you know your wonderful piece has been featured!: [link]
Please consider faving the article and taking a peek at the other featured pieces to support the other artists
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Thank you! I'm glad to hear that you like it... I have had so much trouble with this piece!
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Well it turned out perfectly. I adore your word choices. And this line "I imagine that the grime of Dublin
could fold me up into my questions." was the BEST. 
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Thanks, love!
I do imagine that. I'm trying to study abroad in Dublin next year... there is a large sum of money in my way...
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I have the same problem.
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I forgot where I was while reading this. I wish I got that feeling more often with poetry.
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Always a pleasure, my dear.
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i like that, sometimes, you attend more the role of a greying sage rather than the young adventurer whose mysteries are often more unknown unknowns...it usually changes the entire format and mood of the piece, and that there are strains and strains of your writing that coexist and blend into new expressions rather pleases me. what i like best about this one, though, is that, in "writing about writing," you take care to transform, in the first iteration of analysis, and then transcend in the second, as (contextualizing) the actual act of writing requires far more to be said of the universe explicitly than the dissection of the more "material" [for a faux-dualist easing of explanation] experience of (meta)composition. i dont know, im schizzing out, hah.
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Is that really a good thing? I'm aware of it and I criticize myself for it. I don't know where it comes from. I can hardly eat and walk at the same time, so who am I to be doling out greyed sagacity unasked onto unwilling subjects?
Your comment pleases me, as always. I wish I had a proper way to thank you for the thought-out and informative comments you leave on my work, it's an honor every time.
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everyones wise to at least someone, which isnt to say anything is necessarily generalized about the nature of that particular comment, though. im not sure who is unwillingly and unwantingly reading your poems week after week, however, haha. one of the inherent beauties of poetry, and art in general, is perspective...where and how and why that perspective is can be and mean a lot, but what someone else takes from that perspective, given their own, and how the two combine to create something new and lasting...i figure thats more the point in many readings, and you can be as wise as you goddamn please :-P. (and if you can barely eat and walk at the same time, i would figure your brain is wired to more beneficially contribute to other activities---beyond a non sequitor into the realm of likely ironic selfcontradiction.)
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Everyone who ever comments on my poems, they're actually all me using different accounts. It's a giant set-up, conspiracy.
But yes, that's why the perspectives are so important, and I agree completely. Creation is always a collaboration. You speak about this more elegantly than I can.
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wonderful piece of writing.
in the opening paragraph you had my full attention but i had no idea where you were going with it. awesomeness.
the transition midway through the second stanza to the Himalayas is superb.
you might consider using some kind of metaphor (like birth) for the word "transform" like "can love (breathe life) into voice" or "can love (give birth) to voice" - something to describe the transformative process and power of love.
the song, with the journal of the voyage being read, is so cool. you're right, it's a must to hear it.
It's beautiful as it is Megan.
.
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Thanks so much for your informative and thought-out comment, love. I think the transitions still need a bit of work here, but I'm glad to hear that they are on their way.
Maybe I'll try that. I went for the simple "transform" because I didn't want to inflate the end of the poem; I wanted it to be terse. Maybe if I find the right words.
Thank you always, it is an honor.
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"But to give
creative attention is always an act of love,
and the most sincere. You have always known this,
that only at the fringes of the intellect
can love transform into voice."
Sounds like Confluence to me.
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Ah, yes, I love the word, but I don't think it works as a title? Maybe? It's a bit vague, I think?
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Personally, I like vague, because it allows me to roam through the poem and find things, that even perhaps you never intended. (that is just how I like my poems, though 
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It really depends on the piece. You can talk about so many things with a few things.
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I am going to argue for the title.
Evidence
"You have always known this,
that only at the fringes of the intellect
can love transform into voice."
Argument
The fringe of the intellect is a masterful capture of where mind meets beyond mind. Do you know how hard it is to describe something like that, yet here it is, right in your poem. Confluence - a merging, I can't help it, I think it is perfect.
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