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ARVEN92 — Africa -Page 19
by-nc-nd
Published: 2014-01-22 15:46:47 +0000 UTC; Views: 78719; Favourites: 1030; Downloads: 0
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French Version / Version française: [link] by/par
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It's Wednesday, which means, Africa time!
So, we left our now-grown-up cub hiding in the grass stalking yummy hares. And well, it looks like she did manage to get one!
YES, I AM sorry for the hare, but please don't overreact because Africa killed one. No "BAAAAAWWWW SHE MURDERED THE HARE SHE'S SO EEEEEVIIIIIIIL" kinda comments please
My, and to think she was just a little fluffball trying to catch butterflies a couple pages ago! *sniff* my, she has grown *.*
Ohoho, I had great fun drawing this page, I enjoyed working with the different perspectives^^
Do you think this needs a mature content? O.o
Oh well, enjoy^^
Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper.
Several hours.
Characters and art (c)
I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you!
FREQUENTLY ASKED QUESTIONS
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Comments: 568
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
I am deeply impressed by the lively dinamism and vivid motion of this new page!
As Africa grows older and stronger, she's becoming a talented huntress, which we can appreciate here as she makes a clean kill by de-balancing the prey rather than making a bloody mess out of it. She appears to rely on her skills to get the prey to trip and simply take good hold of it while it's still in the air at mid fall...
The colors are brilliant but not excessive, the anatomy here is flawless,and the sense of motion superb...
I fear I could not give you any criticism here...The page is perfect to my eyes!...
Excellent job!
Everyone should be checking Africa...
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Oh my, thank you SO SO much for this beautiful critique!
I am so sorry that I'm not able to accept it, apparently, it has not appeared in my messages, and now I don't have any "accept" button to press ;_; In fact, if you hadn't told me that you had written it, I couldn't have even found it 
I am happy that you like this page! I had great fun making the hunt interesting and dynamic to look at, and at the same time, I really wanted to show how much Africa has grown and improved her skills! x3 I'm so happy you think I succeeded in this!
Once again thank you very much, and sorry once more!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
WOW!...I'll see what I can do!...maybe it was sent wrong from here...I don't know, it's perhapd a bug?...
Thanks for appreciating and accepting it, it's no more than I think!
I think you did even more than succeeding!...You gave both Africa and the hare (though briefly to the second one XD) actual life!...They seem to actually breathe and run through the page!...It is a superb work!
It doesn't matter if that critique is not displayed...all I wanted is you to know you have done a very good work!!!
Nevermind...I'll try to re-send it if possible...if I find it, I'll resend it, and then we'll see if it sows up in your page!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I don't know why it did that, it has to be a problem in my deviantart though
Often, my deviantart randomly auto-deletes comments from my inbox. I find it so annoying, but I can't do anything to fix that
Aww truly thank you so much once again, I'm seriously happy you like them! I loved drawing the hare jolting through the page
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
This really is something that catches the eye; and with the complexity of comic art, there's lots to talk about.
I'll start off with the inking. Very clean and textured in just the right spots. I'm not sure if you made the borders using software or a tool such as a ruler, but either way it worked out very nicely. You've incorporated plenty of line variability and appropriately as well. If you were to change anything in the inking, you might just go over a few of the lines again once your coloring process is done to make them pop out more (again, where appropriate).
The color is really what grabbed my attention. You weren't shy at all in using contrasting colors to really bring flavor and visual interest to everything in these panels. Your use of dark blues and violets in shaded areas especially looks fantastic against the earthy tones of the animals' fur and you've caught your slight reflections at the edges of those shaded areas wonderfully. Lots of different colors also; I like to try to find at least some small negative along with the positive for improvement, but I honestly can't find anything with the color. It's excellent.
The style you're using is also very exciting. I wouldn't be surprised to find this in my local comic shop as a graphic novel, largely because of the style alone. Unexpected twists and variations in comic art are common things that grab a publishers attention. A good example of that would be "Persepolis", by Marjane Satrapi. The unexpected style makes it personal and draws attention, hooking the audience quickly and making them want to see more. I'm not sure if this is for a rough draft (the use of colored pencil, if that is what I'm seeing) but the amount of texture and color that you were able to get is really that exciting, unique element and you've pulled it off wonderfully.
Another major element of this that I really like is the motion. It's confident, pronounced, and consistent, helping achieve the illusion that this is a 3D image with real depth. The strokes used in coloring, line weight, and directions the characters are flowing in all are synergizing together to help achieve this. What is really nice too is how the shapes of the panels themselves help move the eyes around to the motion.
I wish I could give you a little more negative feedback to help you improve upon this (which is expected in a critique), but in my opinion there's little that needs changed. One minor issue you might want to consider rethinking is the bottom right corner of the bottom panel. It seems to really halt the motion of the entire scene right there, but that may be what you intended; really a matter of preference there. Another minor thing you might want to revise is the lettering for the sound effects as they look a bit uncomfortable along with the organic nature of the rest of the strip; again, only a minor issue that could be left alone if you preferred.
Thanks for sharing, great craftsmanship!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
My, oh my! Thank you SO much for this beautiful critique!
I am very sorry it took me so long to reply, but this is absolutely fantastic!
So, first off, thank you a ton for taking your time to write it, and of course thank you for the precious suggestions you gave me! I agree about the inking, in some spots it needs to be refined so it pops out more 
(photoshop).
And thank you so, SO much for your compliments about the colours, style and motion! I'm really honoured you like them so much, the part that I personally enjoy the most is indeed the colours! Since last year, I got to experiment a lot with coloured pencils, and I have discovered some very interesting tricks and techniques that you can achieve with this medium. While I still have a lot to learn about the colour theory, I am really satisfied with how the colours were able to give a pace to this one page, and I'm seriously happy that so many other artists appreciated this too!
Also thank you very much about the last panel and the sound effects! I fully agree about the sounds, I had really a hard time choosing the most fitting ones, and they might not be the most fitting ones after all. Not only that, but the "tchak" at the end cuts the panel in a direction opposite to that of the leopard's (the leopard heading toward the upper edge, the "tchak" toward the lower one, creates a kind of non-centered X), and this confuses the eye of the reader, who no longer knows what to look at. I definitely need to revise that one spot, I may remove that one sound entirely as well, since it's not really needed
Once again thank you SO much for writing this, I'm absolutely happy you liked this page!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Absolutely, no problem! I'm glad you took the critique well also. Your work is fantastic; keep it up
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I sure did! It was clear, polite and very helpful! <3 I totally appreciated it
And truly thanks so much, I'm honoured you like my work!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Must suck to be a hare and know the purpose of your life is to be killed and eaten by a predator.
So better to get a young one that doesn't know! It will die almost without fear and pain!
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Chomp chomp, Africa!
I'm sure the rabbits will find a new "hare" for the family.
I know that rabbit probably wasn't their heir, but hey, all for the sake of pun.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I’ve been punning since 2012.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
200 points!
B FOR BRILLIANT!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
This is really beautiful use of motion in still image. I do feel sorry for the hare, because I love rabbits. However there's no way for you to go about a nature comic without hunting.
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Ahh thank you!
Unfortunately that's true, there's no way to prevent this
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
No problem! And I should include that I in no way blame you for including hunting in it. I don't think you should feel bad, because it's called for.
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Well this is extremely promising, the context and plot only serve to progress the story into the next stage which promises to be riveting.
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
Actually, my first thought on her nailing that hare was less "poor hare" and more "Boom! Score!" 
Absolutely gorgeous coloring, as always (I was drooling over the night scenes in the previous pages). I love the action lines implied in the coloring, and the canted angle of the panels--it really implies movement here.
My one suggestion would be to have the hare's right ear break out of the border in panel 1. As it is, there's a tangent there, and having it break out would really add to the movement and dynamic.
Awesome job!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
Ohoho I see what you mean XD
And my, thank you so much for your compliments! <3
Ohh you're right about the tangent! I hate when that happens! And for some obscure reason I always manage to create some D8 I'll definitely be more careful in future pages, and I may very well edit this one so the tangent is broken^^
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
It's all the angles that make it an epic scene!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
BUNNEH NOOOOOOOO!!!!
WHYYYYYYY!??!?!?!
TAKE ME!!!
SAVE DA BUNNY!!!
BUT WHY-HY-HYYYYY?!?!?!
AAAAAUGHERFIO
I'M DYING!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
WHY U SO MEAN AGAINST BUNNEHS?!?!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I'M NOT! D8 I LOVE BUNNEHS! THAT'S A HARE!
👍: 1 ⏩: 1
....
KILL IT
KILL DA HARE!!!!!!!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
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