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ARVEN92 — Chakra -B.O.T. Page 117
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Published: 2013-04-20 10:22:24 +0000 UTC; Views: 27904; Favourites: 421; Downloads: 0
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Cover: arven92.deviantart.com/art/Cha…
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French Version / Version française: aspi-galou-translate.deviantar… by/par
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FFFF Page.
Sooo the first half of this page took some hours, but not an excessive amount. The last panel, well.... it never finished D8
But yeah, with Cheetah and Orca left behind, the Heroes finally start realizing that the Demons are the blockheads they imagined
And right when and endless discussion is about to start... they stumble into THAT.
What was the last time you saw a forest inside a cave? :'D Things are getting weirder and weirder here XD
I hope you like it!
Coloured Pencils on A4 Paper.
Several hours.
Characters and art (c)
I want to improve, I greatly appreciate feedback and constructive criticism regarding anatomy, page flow and overall composition. Thank you!
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Comments: 399
👍: 0 ⏩: 0
Critique
Pg 117
Panel 1: Its good to see that you use different angles of perspective when you draw. It makes it seem more life like and also makes it slightly more interesting. I can also see that you are trying out different effects such as blue shadows. This is good but I'm not sure that the shadows would be that colour since they are in a cave, personally I would have made the shadows more brown.
Panel 2: I'm not 100 percent sure but I think Heilo is a bit too small. He isn't too far behind them and I think he should have been made a bit bigger. Also Led's shoulder looks very bulky and round, almost swollen and his leg is a bit thick. C.Y on the other hand is close to perfect. Her anatomy is perfect and the perspective is very good.
Panel 3: There is nothing wrong with C.Y and the baground is a nice touch. It emphasizes how evil Jackel is and creates a spooky aura. However I think Jackel's head is slighty too small and the shoulder facing the reader is ever so slighty too thick. Also his back is a little bit too curved, you should have been able to distinquish his hindquaters.
Panels 4/5: The perspective is spot on for both panels, with exellent shading/colouring, nothing much to say really other than keep up the great work.
Panel 6: This panel is breathtaking! The trees look so realistic and the variations in trunks and leaves make it interesting and even more realistic, gives it a much more natural feel. The vines winding around the rock are a vary nice touch. I also like how you can see how big Kuma really is compared to the others, and I like how Moytl is still flying, and looking around.
Overall, this is an exellent page with a few key mistakes. Keep up the amazing work and good luck with upcomming pages, I look forward to what happens next!
I'm going to finish up now because I have used 355 words so I think its time to stop.
LinkandEpona
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Oh my, thank you a lot for this amazing critique! I'm really sorry if I answered this late D8
Thank you a lot for the tips about the shading
Also about Jackal, thank you for telling me about his anatomy
And thanks a ton for liking the last panel! <3 It took me ages to get it right and I'm happy you enjoyed all the little details!
Thank you so much for this lovely critique, I'm seriously honoured! <3
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Sorry, for the EVEN later reply... You can draw epic poses! And expressions too, keep up the fabby work!!!! X
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XD No worries
Aww thank you, truly <3333
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Your work inspired me to start improving on drawing wolves and start my own comic. You should be proud of all the work you've done (Not, that your not proud of course) X
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Oh my, that makes me so honoured to hear
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I already told you, I like your Comic and I absolutly LOVE your character design.
What encourage me to add my critique was the fact that each week, some adds their and each week every single of them gives you the maximal rate which I think -but it seems I am the lone one- is unfair and NOT constructive because nothing is perfect except nature of course.
Vision: I like the overview of this page and generally of the whole comic... I like how your vignettes follow each others but I think there is maybe too much of them... it happens from time to time that some actions can be implied by the logic of storyline instead of being shown in a vignette.
Originality: well sorry for low rating but Wolves... third eyes... legendary sword within timeless Cave... Colorful patterns...Good/Evil organization.
So it's fun but in my point of view absolutly, not original except for the technique.
Technique: Coloured pencil... Well if someone would have introduced me a comic by "done with coloured pencil" I would have been WTF?! How dare to insult comic art with that silly medium!
but it's actually quite good, it create an original atmosphere.
Impact: As always.. it's colorful, a real sight-bait, it's one of your talents, I guess it explains why your comics has so much view.
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Oh my, thank you SO much for this critique! You're right about the rating, sometimes I feel that I don't deserve those full 5 stars, and despite I love the entirely positive comments I receive, I'm also very eager to improve, so your critique is really helpful!
I agree, those wolves, the good vs. evil scheme and the Japan setting are bothering me right now. When I made the comic five years ago, I thought they were the coolest thing ever, and that my comic was super original. But now I know that this subject is very cliché, and I didn't make so much research about it, so it's inconsistent too. I'm doing my best for my upcoming comic project, I'm trying to avoid cliché and to research everything I can for it. Also, no more wolves! XD
I see what you mean about the vignettes, I agree that I make way too many sometimes. I'll do my best to change that and to imply actions between panels
And I'm really happy you like the medium I'm using. I think there are really few comics done entirely traditionally, and I couldn't imagine drawing Chakra on a computer
Truly thank you so much for this critique! You have no idea how happy it made me! It motivates me even more to get better and to practice
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
I am happy you you took it well, some of your stalker seems to not appreciate the rating
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Not a problem!
Yeah, I assume some people see the rating as a message like "I don't like what you drew and that's that."
But there's nothing like that in your critique, you actually have very good points!
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I'MA START WITH OTHER COMMENTS 'CAUSE I CAN! AMG! HOLY WOW I CAN NOT WAIT FOR THE NEXT PAGE!!!!!! WHY MUST YOU TORTURE ME LIKE THIS!? Great page, btw... XD
Vision:
Holy crap. That vision. It's awesome. Thank you very much... this page is perfect.
Originality:
Very nice... I dunno what to sy... this page is amazing in every way ever thought possible... I HAVE NO NEGATIVE COMMENTS.
Technique:
You get so much better for every page. Every thing here's a check!
Impact:
See OTHER COMMENTS at the top of the critique to know how I feel. But other than that... It MAKES ME WONDER.
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PFFFF I'm so honoured you liked this page so much, lol!
I loved drawing, and I'm even more excited to post the next one! 8D
Thanks so much for the critique <3
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No problem, torturer! LOLOLOLOLOLOLOL WHY MUST I WAIT SOOOO LOOOONG!?
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Because I need time to make it
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YYYYAYYYYY! I was so happpy when i logged on and saw this XD. OK...Lets start.
Vision-The vision is very clear and well done. I enjoyed the last panel alot. The trees, cave and light is very well done!(I wonder where this forest came from.)The panels are all very well done. The first panel could be a little bit more clear, but thats minor.
Orginalty-Well thats a five because who knew that there would be a forest in the cave? The charachters are ver well done! XD I LOVE KUMA'S FACE.
Technique-Well, as always its beautiful and the wolfs anatomy are always very well done.
IMPACT: YESSSS! THE CHACKRA COMIC PAGE 117 IS HERE XD! I LOVE IT<# Now....I have to wait untill next saturday *sigh* OH well its worth the wait.
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Ohoho awesome XD
I'm really happy you like the page, the last panel took ages XD But I'm really happy that you're suggesting me to make the first panel clearer, I see what you mean
OHOHO YAY for Kuma's face XD
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Hahahha. Excited 4 new page staurday XD
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This is a bad Idea. Motyl should've healed Orca. Now there's only five of them. They couldn't stop the Zodiac Demons with the seven of them, how do they think five of them will?
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You make tradicional art,what pictures did you used for this? Faber Castell?
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Do you mean pencils?
I used Caran d'Ache Supracolor Soft
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Hey look! It's Kuma IRL!
plus.google.com/u/0/1162697261…
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An underground forest?!? This island is getting weirder and weirder...
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Maybe Jackal is that Evil Demon that controlls the minds? That's how he would be able to stop C.Y. forces and know about Motyl.
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Hoho we shall see! That is one good theory
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Aww, thanks a lot for all your replies <3
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Not a problem x3 I'm slowly gonna reply to all your messages
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Ooooups! I believe Hielo wants to "teach him a lesson".
Hielo... calm down please.... 
And Kuma.... I love ya! 
AND DAT LAST PANEL!!!! GOSH! 
Another great page Arvy! It's getting really interesting!
👍: 0 ⏩: 1
YERPS D8
Ohoho, I love Kuma too <333333
Oh yes, that panel took ages D8 I'm so happy you like it so much hun! <3 Thank you^^
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