Comments: 17
theklauz [2007-10-25 22:03:05 +0000 UTC]
This is a really nice piece...
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theunwarymariner [2004-04-06 10:49:18 +0000 UTC]
really the only things i can say have already been said, you don't need yet another person to tell you that this is great, so i'll comment on donny darko. i love any reference to film, well sort of, but i love to see writers utilizing that vast resource, so good for you, but i donny darko is overrated and too many people on here praise it in all of its... whateverness, which i am not claiming you are...i just wanted to say something here besides "good job, nice work, blah blah blah"
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Phiona-Nnightt [2004-03-05 06:37:15 +0000 UTC]
what i have to say about what you're written doesn't mean anything. i don't think you really care... i mean, i don't think you should care what people think of your writing... it doesn't sound like you do. that is the only way anyone should write... without care, without justification... with more than liberty, but with freedom branching from every straggling limb of humanity, inhumanity, obsession, joy, desperation, and addiction. reality check... beauty is in ungliness, terror, and profanity. Beauty is in the unwritten word... the written word... the wordless thought... beauty comes from within, so what i've said doesn't mean anything. i am on the outside, but from where i'm standing, the inside looks beautiful.
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broeknarms In reply to Phiona-Nnightt [2004-03-05 15:50:29 +0000 UTC]
*blushes* that means alot to me and if you were here id kiss you on the cheek. thank you. when i write i do not care what people think of it. i do love to hear what people think and feel, for that helps to keep me writing. but the writing is done for myself before anything. you described that wonderfully. again, thank you.
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millykid [2004-03-03 10:05:20 +0000 UTC]
pretty good, strong imagery, good metaphors, love the idea 'cellar door', ..., flow and rythem need improving though - sometimes u get 'stuck' - breaks the fluency- overall nice poem, I like it
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broeknarms In reply to millykid [2004-03-03 17:07:12 +0000 UTC]
thanks for the critiques and comments. they are appretiated.
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broeknarms In reply to Awi [2004-03-03 17:03:05 +0000 UTC]
reminds you of Poe? *blushes infinatly* thank you immensly.
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nitemaregargoyle [2004-03-03 00:15:33 +0000 UTC]
Wow... this is impressive. I love your metaphor between depression of heartbreak and the wine in a damp cellar. Also, the red wine could be a symbol for blood, and the cellar door your heart. The lightbulb is like happiness or memories.
It's as if the cellar is your heart, and you retreat into it, like someone pulling back into their psyche or into their "shell", so to speak. The wine is like your blood, swear and tears you gave during the relationship, and now you're drinking, or remembering, them so they will go away and be forgotten. Impressive!!!
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queenhrosie [2004-03-02 21:33:51 +0000 UTC]
Woah there.
*is taken aback*
This is super. Well not super, something better than super. Pick your own word.
This is gorgeous and I am going to steal it.
*+fav*
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broeknarms In reply to sadLlama [2004-03-02 19:28:43 +0000 UTC]
thats so rad. thanks a grand large bushel.
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