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Chobaryu — Thesauri have Rights, too
Published: 2009-04-23 02:53:00 +0000 UTC; Views: 831; Favourites: 17; Downloads: 2
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Okay, I absolutely could not resist drawing this out.Story behind this: I browse TwilightSucks.com for the lulz it provides. Some of the stuff on there is just hilarious. One of the threads in their art subsection asks opinions about making and selling Anti-Twilight t-shirts on etsy.com. They were taking some suggestions on other slogans to put on the shirts, and I thought of this one, if it hasn't been thought of already.
Story behind the story: One of the jokes around TS goes that Meyer raped her thesaurus when she was writing the series. And seeing a few quotes with misplaced, out-of-context words in them, I'll believe it. Poor Thesaurus! It never wanted such an abusive relationship! D:
I now have this on a shirt!
I might get mauled by Twitards, but hey, freedom of speech/expression! Art (c) me
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Comments: 33
x3
That reminds me... I really need to look into talking to shirt shops and seeing their rates on bulk screenings. I've been trying to figger out if I could sell these shirts. x3
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That would be so amazingly awesome! Lemme know if you get it figured out, 'cause I totally want one!
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Your drawing is made of pure win!
Every time I hear or read the quote "I am unconditionally and irrevocably in love with him" from Twilight, it gives me an odd sensation... LIKE I'M CHEWING ON TIN FOIL!!!
First of all, it SCREAMS purple prose. Second of all, this girl is WAY too early in her "relationship" to even IMAGINE having feelings like that!
The book shouldn't even be in first person... Judging by her vocabulary, Bella is no average everyday teenage girl... more like a Harvard grad student with a master's in English!
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Thanks!
Oh I know. I had the book in my dorm for a week or two with the intent to try reading it (never happened), but I just got so fed up with seeing that back cover that I gave it back to my sane-fan sister and said, "Forget it. I've heard way too much on this thing to even try anymore." xD
Dunno if you knew this already, but what's hilarious is that Smeyer has a degree in English. Not an Ivy Leaguer, but an English degree nevertheless.
Sure as hell doesn't show, though, seeing as how more than half the time the words are used in the wrong context or are completely redundant.
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Yeah, I heard about that. I think she graduated from Brigham Young University.
I took it upon myself to not read the series. The only reason I know about that quote was from researching several snippets I found on the internet because I actually considered reading "Twilight" at one point. I found the book on tape and couldn't even make it ten minutes. Purple prose, thesaurus abuse, and Mary-Sue main characters tend to turn me off to a book... plus, I'm not a big fan of YA fiction. I'm more partial to fantasy/adventure novels. I also like some vampire fictions... only, I drew the line with THESE vampires. I researched the second and third books, but I just wasn't interested in them. Researching the fourth book caused me to give up on the series altogether. Chestburster human/vampire hybrids, physically abusive vampire sex, and cradle-robbing werewolves? No thanks.
I honestly didn't hear about this series until I saw the movie. I heard it was about vampires and that was enough for me. After about thirty minutes, I began to develop a sinking feeling in the pit of my stomach... because it was all about "Oh my marble-skinned Adonis! I wuv you even though we've known each other for about a week... oh, and you're a bloodsucking creature of the night." "Yes, I am dangerous. I hate it. But it's kewl because I'm a 'vegetarian' vampire. I can't read your mind, therefore I'm attracted to you! Oh, I also watch you sleep." "OH, MY DARLING EDWARD!!!" And then the moment of truth comes... he decides to expose himself to sunlight. I was actually expecting a "Curse of the Black Pearl" effect where his beauty melts away and reveals what he truly is (an undead rotted corpse)... but he sparkled... Sunlight doesn't kill them nor does it reveal their true form, but it simply makes them sparkle... I wanted to stand up in the theater and shout "THOSE ARE NOT VAMPIRES! THEY'RE BLOOD-DRINKING FAIRIES!!!"
Anyway, sorry for making this post so long. lol
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lol No problem about the long post.
Your sentiments and mine are the same, my friend. I like Chestbursters when they're Aliens; not when it's a Cullenian-section for a half-vampixie. xD I almost literally rofl'd when the whole sunlight thing came up, barely managing to stay in my chair. I had the good fortune to see it at home rather than getting dragged to a theater, so I had the chance to make commentary all throughout, much to my sister's irritation. xD
I'm about to submit another pic regarding this fail-series, so if you want to check it out, have a look at my front page. x3
And by the way, do you happen to be on TwilightSucks.com? I ask because you sound like quite a few of the Antis there. :3
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Lol, yah. The sunlight thing bugged me the most.
-Feeding on animals? Ok, that's understandable. I'm sure Louis can relate to y'all.
-No fangs? Well, I guess that's forgivable even though it doesn't make much sense.
-Vampire/Human mutants that chew themselves out of their mother's womb? Okay, now you're beginning to lose it... not to mention that it's quite freakin' disgusting! BTW, where DID Edward get that sperm considering that he's *DUN DUN DUN* DEAD!?
-Sparkling vampires? That's it! I give up on you, series!!!
Nope, I'm not on TwilightSucks.
Nice comic, BTW!
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*nodnod* Same.
I could understand the feeding on animals. My classic vampiress does that when she has to. But it sure takes more than one to sate her appetite.
All my vampire ladies have fangs. I know of some who can retract their fangs like cats' claws. But no fangs? Can you say "leechface"?
The freak dhampir thing stands second only to the sparkling thing in how much they bug me. That's not a dhampir, that's a freakin' Chestburster Alien baby! We all know SMeyer failed Biology. Frickin' pseudoscience failure...
The sparkling killed it all. Especially since it happens like the Curse of the Black Pearl does with moonlight revealing the rotting-corpse pirates.
lol. I see. x3 Figured I'd ask.
Thanks!
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Actually, I am now on TwilightSucks.com (I checked it out when you told me about it)! My username is dreadpirate.
The name was created in response to this "Princess Bride" quote made of awesome win when somebody used it to pwn SMeyer for her abusive use of "Chagrin."
"You keep using that word. I don't think it means what you think it means."
The only dhampir I've ever heard about that made real sense to me was Blade. Where Edward suddenly got sperm, I do not know (because didn't she state in one of the books that the only liquid inside their bodies is venom!?)
One of the things that makes some vampires so tragic, IMO, is that they are immortal and cannot procreate, therefore they are unable to experience that human happiness. But Bella gets a happy ending... baby and all... oh, and her ex-boyfriend now has an insatiable crush on it!
The Curse of the Black Pearl thing would have been interesting. Bella finds out that Edward truly is NOT gorgeous as he has his true form revealed to her in sunlight (ie: rotted corpse). It would be a sort of test to see whether or not she truly loves him. But no, I guess that wouldn't make him prettyful.
Anyway, we should pick this up more on the forums! What's your username?
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lol I'll prolly see ya around, then! x3
I don't really know any dhampirs, but then again the only decent vampire movie I've seen all the way through lately was Van Helsing. x3
There are more holes in Smeyer's books than there are in Swiss cheese. I don't really know if she said it in the books, but I know she's said it in one of her interviews or something. I don't approve of "venom-like" bodily fluids; creatures are not immune to even their own venom. That includes the mythical ones; Medusa's own gaze was what defeated her. *eyeroll*
I think it would have been better if sparkling was actually a horrible, horrible flaw rather than whatever it's made out to be. As my vampire clan leader Katarina would say: "You sparkle? Seriously? You make it too easy for those damned hunters to find you! Get lost, freak." Then again her clan isn't the "friendly neighborhood bloodsuckers" that the Cullens are. x3
lol I'm Eizoryu over there. See you around! :3
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I'm a huge Twilight fan, but I'm not here to bash you. She could use a shiny new thesaurus when she writes. I can't even stand to see or hear the word "smoldered" anymore, thanks to Stephenie Meyer. But, somehow, I still can't stop reading the books over and over. She's not the best author out there, but I guess I'm addicted to the characters.
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Thanks for respecting my opinion, I really appreciate it. To be honest, from what I hear, she needs to learn how to correctly use a thesaurus, and not just use it to find the synonyms for words to describe how someone looks. :/
I totally respect your liking of the series; that's your opinion, and you're not trying to tell me all the things that rabid fans tell non-fans, or otherwise shove the series on me. 
Thanks for taking the time to comment!
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^-^ I see nothing wrong with that. :3 I wish more fans we're mature like you. Many are, but I've heard really brutal stories about Twilight fans harming others because they don't adore Twilight.
Fans like you make me want to try reading the book. ^^ No guarantee I'd really like it, though I am curious.
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Stephenie Meyer needs to learn that using big words doesn't make a book intelligent, creative, or GOOD; most times big words just aren't big enough to cover the plot holes.
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*nod* Agreed. I used to do what she's done when I was 14. Doing that at 14 is vastly more understandable than a full-grown woman doing that, I would think.
The series has more holes than mouse-eaten Swiss cheese. Even a genuine big vocabulary can't save that.
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It was my understanding in FIFTH GRADE ENGLISH that a thesaurus was intended to swap one word for another to keep things from getting too stale and repetitive. FIFTH GRADE. And I was reminded of that through out the rest of my school experience.
You have to wonder if she'd ever even taken a creative writing class before working on Twilight. And if she did, she obviously wasn't paying attention in class. Yeah, sure, it won't turn an awful writer into a pulitzer prize winner, but at least they teach you what to AVOID doing in your works!
I'm sorry, but having a string of 5 or more words that mean the same thing where one would suffice is unforgivable. Especially if they all mean sparkle.
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Exactly. The only time I use a thesaurus now is whenever I know what the word I want to use means, but I've forgotten the exact synonym I'm looking for.
It sure doesn't seem like she did, does it? I firmly believe that she thinks just because she has a degree in English Lit., that makes her infallible. 
*nodnod* Absolutely. That's a little something called overkill, or redundancy, if you prefer. *hugs her dictionary, promising never to abuse it* Not a thesaurus, but it's the next best thing.
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x3
Checkmate, Twitards! (blah chess pun-reference-thingy) xD
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xD I am accomplishing my goal of gathering teh lulz!
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Awwww, poor thesaurus -huggles- Awesome idea though! I would totally buy this T-shirt XD <3
Epic Win!
-Echo
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lol I couldn't help but laugh and be "Aww!" when I drew this. It's cute but so horrible at the same time.
When I get the chance, I'm going to go to the local t-shirt screening place here and see what they charge for something like this. x3 I think I'll do that tomorrow, as a matter of fact. :3
Thank you! ^^
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