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and all the awful things you said. wondering if you really felt them. of course you did...you faded from light blue to dark black.
it's been six months. and i didn't realize how self destructive i was until tonight. when i almost called you. just so you'd yell at me.

how fucked is that

what kind of person hates themselves so much and needs so much attention that they would think of calling someone who hates them. just to get into an inevitable fight. just to feel like shit. on top of shit. when they have perfectly loving arms to fall into. me.