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Published: 2010-06-29 12:46:31 +0000 UTC; Views: 10415; Favourites: 26; Downloads: 6
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Comments: 21

SunshinesSecrets [2010-07-11 01:50:42 +0000 UTC]

I wish I had listened to my mom when she told me to stay away from the boy I fell in love with.
Listen to her reasons. Even if you end up choosing to be with him, give her a fair shot at explaining her thoughts. You never know the kind of things she sees in him unless you ask.

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hentaibunnyinc [2010-07-01 01:05:57 +0000 UTC]

Moms don't always know what's best. And yes, they have lived, and they have sage advice, but if you hide in the shadow of what your mother insists is "not right for you," you may never know what is. Because what's best for one isn't best for another. If you want to take a chance, go for it, and don't let anyone stop you. But always listen and understand to what people tell you. You don't have to follow through, but make every attempt to understand.

I used to live my life in my mother's shadow. She's the one who told me not to move cross-country to a place I had been only once with someone I barely knew. And yes, this is VERY sage advice and I advise others against it.

But two years later, I have never been so happy, so healthy, so successful. I'm back in school, out of therapy, have friends, and am just so, so very content every morning I wake up. It's a beautiful feeling. And one I wouldn't have found if I stayed at home and kept my mouth shut like my mother wanted me to.

Take a chance. If it fails, mom will understand, and MOST mothers won't say "I told you so."

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Tepara [2010-06-30 04:19:21 +0000 UTC]

Remember, your mother has lived life. And no matter what you may think, she only wants whats best for you in the long run.
Often what we want and what we need are not the same at all.
I want a huge big TV. But I dont need one. I only want one.
A person needs to live healthy, a person needs to eat, a person needs to drink.
You may want to be with your bf. But that by no means, means it what you need. If its love, if its real. Whats the hurry? If its meant to be, wait till you both have your lives all sorted out. if its meant to be. He will wait, and so will you.

You may want to run across the road to your bf... Doesnt mean its the right thing to do. You could get run over and killed.
You may need to cross the road. and you may want to run across, but what you need to do is, go to the Zebra crossing and cross safely.
Crossing safely is what you need.
Running across is what you want, but not what you need.

Dont ignore your Mother. listen to her shes a wise woman, talk to her about things, listen to her reasons for what she says, then ask her to listen to your reasons.
But remember, if you want her respect you need to give it.

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unimatrix2612 [2010-06-29 19:55:03 +0000 UTC]

I'm going to go against the general trend here and say this: Don't discount your mother's experience, ST. She's lived life, and made mistakes along the way. Maybe she's worried you'll make a mistake that she did? I'm just speculating, and relating my experiences with my own mother lol.

Maybe you and your mother need to sit down and talk about what each of you thinks is best for you and why each person thinks that? If the two of you can have that kind of mature discussion, then it'll be extremely rewarding, I think. (But I know how mothers will sometimes feel their word is the word.)

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unforgottendoom [2010-06-29 18:42:32 +0000 UTC]

It's only two years.

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violetteV [2010-06-29 18:24:24 +0000 UTC]

don't worry about your mother,
she just feels like you're growing up too fast for her.

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KickPeach [2010-06-29 15:32:56 +0000 UTC]

ST, you're still young. If this relationship doesn't work out, so what? You're not married to him, nor do you have kids, so you have no ties to him other than possibly living together.

Don't let your mother's negativity worry you, she just wants the best for you. Maybe sit down and talk with her about being more supportive of your relationship, or at least keeping the negative comments to herself?

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niun2u [2010-06-29 14:53:50 +0000 UTC]

mothers never know what their children really need or want.

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Tepara In reply to niun2u [2010-06-30 04:10:31 +0000 UTC]

lmfao... what rock did you come from to think that. You had a pretty bad up bringing, or just a spoilt child who thinks they should get everything?

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niun2u In reply to Tepara [2010-06-30 06:39:38 +0000 UTC]

my mom doesn't know me at all.
maybe my wording was bad, i should have said that some mothers don't know their children or most don't know them sometimes. mine is just someone i have lived my entire life with, but who never thought that raising children means talking to them. i actually don't miss it. i don't know what to miss.

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Tepara In reply to niun2u [2010-06-30 07:00:59 +0000 UTC]

See, your upbringing is not like most at all.
So you are seeing it from the eyes of maybe 5% of the population.
But to say, well how your comment came across as anyway. was you are saying no mothers know their children, and children should not listen to their parents.
sorry you got the short strew when it cames to parent of the year.
But that is no reason to insult all the other mothers out there who know just what they are talking about, and would go to the end of the world to do whats best for their child, who most of the time a child doesnt even realise it or isnt thankful at all. That is until they have grown up and have child of their own ( so long as this person loves their own children as much as their mother loves them) its often not till we have children of our own that we truly understand the love of a mother.
But as you said, you didnt have that. And I am sorry you didnt have that. But that by no means gives you the right to tell someone not to listen to their mother. And that their mother doesnt know what they want or need.
It only means your mother was a bad Mother.

I hope one day, you can give love to a child that you were never able to get for yourself.

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niun2u In reply to Tepara [2010-06-30 07:33:09 +0000 UTC]

you're quite right. i didn't mean to insult anyone.

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Atuin In reply to niun2u [2010-06-29 23:55:41 +0000 UTC]

That is not true. Mothers often know what their children want and need, just not always. She's absolutely someone to be listened to.

ST, listen to your mother, just don't let her make the decision for you. Make your own decision, not the decision she wants you to make, but only after listening to what she says and why she says it.

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niun2u In reply to Atuin [2010-06-30 06:43:23 +0000 UTC]

my wording was bad and considered from only my point of view. but true is that only everyone themselves know the truth about themselves. it all depends on the mother whether she should be listened. my mom only repeats my ideas.

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Atuin In reply to niun2u [2010-06-30 14:46:40 +0000 UTC]

A mother has in most cases gone through a lot more than their daughter has. It's worth listening to why she's worried even if you disagree with it, is what I was meaning because of her being more experienced. Know what you're disagreeing with before disagreeing.

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Shelagnoa In reply to niun2u [2010-06-29 20:04:27 +0000 UTC]

They do, to an extent, else the child wouldn't survive. We also tend to forget that mothers were kids once, and do have the experience to offer sound advice. I think this mother is being cautious, but also too overbearing. It falls to her daughter to accept or reject the advice.

ST, take time to consider until your heart and head agree - it looks like your head isn't yet sure. In the end though, the decision is yours, whether or not your mother agrees. Best of luck!

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niun2u In reply to Shelagnoa [2010-06-30 06:50:41 +0000 UTC]

problem is that most mothers have forgotten that they were kids once or forget that time has moved on and times are different now.
my comment was rough, yes, poor, considered from one point of view, yes, but sometimes they seriously don't know.

people need to be independent, make their decisions.
as some smart people once said: "listen to everyone, but follow noone"

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Shelagnoa In reply to niun2u [2010-06-30 07:34:01 +0000 UTC]

Not most. Many, but not most. Yes, some do completely forget, and some mothers are entirely unfit to raise children. For the most part though, mothers try, sometime make mistakes, but mostly do all right.

Agreed about independent decision-making though.

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Bella-Dilo [2010-06-29 14:09:04 +0000 UTC]

In December, you'll be 18 and able to choose to be with him.

It's your life.

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SubtleAssiduities [2010-06-29 13:14:53 +0000 UTC]

Sounds to me like you've got everything you need right there.

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gaarakamaru In reply to SubtleAssiduities [2010-06-29 14:52:04 +0000 UTC]

I wholeheartedly agree.
ST, your mum is the source of all knowledge and comfort for most of your childhood. But hard as it is to accept, they're only human and they're not always right. You need what you feel you need, not what your mother thinks you need.

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