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Diikae — when you grow up, your heart dies
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Published: 2013-10-16 03:20:42 +0000 UTC; Views: 1168; Favourites: 28; Downloads: 0
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:// Who Cares?; I Do.
I heard this quote today and it made me want to draw something...but it just didn't fit with any of my other accounts' characters, because it struck me so close to home, and so close to this account. Because I feel like I grew out of it...and in the process, my heart -did- die. These characters used to be my entire world, all I could think about, all I -wanted- to think about. Somewhere along the line, I lost them. I found myself unable to write for them anymore. I would search for them in my head, but nothing could be found. They're gone.
I don't know if they are still gone, but I think most likely they are. I'm not sure what to do about my characters yet, because some of them I have emotional attachment to, and I know you guys do too. I might try them out again, like old clothes you found in the attic, and see if they still fit...but then again, I have so much else going on now. I have semi-realism at *nadelkissen and cartoons at ~pony-bones , and everything that goes along with them. But I miss these guys. I'm sure most of you know that missing someone/something doesn't mean that it was good for you, or you were good for it. So I'm torn.
In any case, I chose Pirrip because I've realized out of the three, that he is instead my heart and Diikae is my mind. DS will always be my outer airs, how I want to appear to others. He's changed a lot too...he's in constant development. I think he's morphed the most as I've matured. But I'm rambling.
If you miss my art, go to those two accounts. This one is wheezing its last breath.
• Art and character © ~Diikae
• Please do not copy, heavily reference, trace, claim as your own, reuse this image on another site, reproduce in any way, shape or form, without explicit written permission/consent
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Comments: 19
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This is a beautiful piece and so was what you wrote, it's such a shame you feel like you've grown out of all of your fantastical characters but everyone grows up I guess. For some that means leaving dA entirely so I guess we should be thankful that we've at least still got you on your other accounts
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Oh Ange, This hit me pretty hard all together, Not only the picture but what you wrote with it as well. I so understand and it's so hard to accept that sometimes you outgrow things even though you still care about them it just feels forced and they don't live in your imagination like they once did. No matter what, I feel like DS, Diikae and Pirrup will always have a place in your heart, They are branches of you that you couldn't leave forever, I am curious as how much DS has changed, I would love to see or know where he has progressed too.
As far as me, I have the want to draw all the time I just never do. I feel the way you do its hard deciding which characters still have a place in your heart, I miss several of my characters who I still think about a lot. I find myself thinking of Bar, Makeidi and Linah but I miss Phantom the most. Awww.
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Yeah, you put it perfectly. It -does- feel forced, even though I still love them. Of course DS, Diikae, and Pirrip...most of the 'starter' clan really, Frika...I miss them a lot. And looking through my adopted character sheet, I wish I had used them like I wanted to, because there are some pretty awesome designs in there.
You should give drawing a shot again, even if it's just something simple like this. I want to see what you would come up with!
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I never knew you had those other accounts 
I'm not sure if I've felt the same with any of my characters yet, I'm sure it will happen soon though. I feel like I might be drifting into more traditional and human art. But I think that's because of all the art classes I take and that's all I really have time for :/
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Yeah, I didn't make too much of a deal about them because I wasn't really intending to move off from here...until I suddenly realized I did. :I Thanks for watching me again over there, though!
Ah yes, I do understand that. It's hard when you don't have enough time for them, and when you start getting into other things. Maybe when you get a break, you'll be able to get back to doing equines again for a little bit. C:
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Wow, even if you feel it was a bit ramble... That really struck a cord with some of my feeling lately. I can't decide if I'm ok just having good memories of some things and am glad that I've developed and moved on, or if I've really lost touch with a part of myself.
I do love your new art developments, but it is sad to let old characters rest. At any rate, this is a lovely sad piece for Pirrip. You do great work with dramatic emotions - one thing in particular I'd love to get better at!
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Yeah, it is a fine line to cross...it's nice if you can go back to the old things and enjoy them, but if you go back and it's not the same, it's like it's even worse than the curiosity, because then at least you had hope. But you put it perfectly. Have I lost touch, or is it good that I've developed and moved on?
Thank you. I do enjoy dramatic emotions quite a bit more than the normal stuff, because I have so much fun putting the -drama- in. xD It is very sad...especially since he's one of the characters I wouldn't let go of easily. I do have a tattoo with him in after all, so I'm not sure if I can really with good conscience kill him off for good.
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Did I mention that this particular picture also just sorta devastates me, because as I think I've told you, Pirrip was the first of your characters I ever saw and fell in love with. He was what made me meet you. What made me want to meet you. It's like at the end of a movie when your favorite character dies. You just feel empty and lost even though it never had anything to do with you. If that makes any sense. The art and angle, and just portrayal of tragedy is epic. You can still pull the heart strings as much as ever.
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Aww, yeah you have told me that. He is a good character. Simple, but loveable. I'm not sure what I'm going to do with him after this, because he's a giant part of my world and one of my tattoos even has facets of him, so I'm not sure if he's gone for good. But I'll at least let this image sink in a bit longer. Thanks for giving me your opinion though! It's good to know as an artist that I can move people. C:
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Yes, sometimes I felt jealous of people like you and others in the equine community that had such close "relationships" with their characters. I do love mine, and many are very dear to me, but I never really had any that defined me. (Sure I have a equinsona now, but I still can't say I have the same connection to her that some of you do with yours.) I never really had a universal character that everyone recognized me for. Infact I think I was recognized for HAVING SO MANY characters XD.
But yes, you definitely have always been able to move me with your artwork as well as awe and inspire!
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Wow that is tragic, but I can understand. Not so much with characters yet, as I still can't stop loving and wanting mine, but in other things I once found so much joy and now as much as I miss them, cannot bring myself to return to. I will always miss all your iconic and amazing characters you've come up with or attained over the years, but it's understandable when you just can't do it anymore. Seriously I know those feels! It's such a shame that our billions of relationships never got a chance to develop (save for a select few) but if you let them go, I'd understand completely.
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I had a really long, thought out response to this and then my browser crashed. :I Ugh.
But yes, it is tragic. It is kind of painful to remember these characters and how I felt about them and then compare to how I feel now. It /does/ feel like something died. Like the imagination, or the creativity, or something. I can still create backstories for them and such, but it's like the roleplaying button in me got turned off. I will miss them too, especially the characters that I poured blood, sweat, and tears into, and even the ones that I didn't develop as much, but allowed me to create friendships and connections with the people around dA. In the process of losing these characters, I feel like I am also losing my friendships. :/
Yeah, it is a shame. I'm not sure how we would have ever developed all of those anyway (at least fully) but plotting was still fun.
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Well to me personally it doesn't really sound like you have an issue at all. Just need to look at the situation from a different angle. If you still love them all, and are still inspired to draw/plot for them, who ever said they had to RP to be valid? I mean, there were characters BEFORE rp. There is no unwritten law that says they have to actually role play. Infact it's an idea I've been thinking about ALOT lately and thinking of useing myself. Kinda like HARPG I guess, in the sense that you can still draw them, and events in their lives, perhaps write small snipits to go along with and explain the scene, and that's it. I'd LOVE it if you did something like that. I just can't see these amazing lives you've created just disappearing completely. I don't know if they could, because they would certainly at least live on in memory. Remember when you came back and decided to add all those infinity symbols to your charactesr? It meant they would live on. They still can I think. I know I'd be more than happy to keep at least our established couples together, and just fanart for them, with the occasional plotline theme.
But whatever you do is your choice after all. I just have noticed that so many of us began to believe that our characters were not worth keeping if they aren't RPing, or that they are being wasted. But I feel as long as they still have a story to tell, that's all that counts.
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I know exactly how you feel :c
Great picture, by the way x
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It's kind of a heartbreaking feeling. Like ending a long term relationship, and seeing them walking down the street one day. Ughhhh.
Thanks though!
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oohh this look wicked. 
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