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Description
Sick and tired from being a doormat, Cousin Rocket seeks out someone who will help her be more assertive.

(at the cottage)
[bell rings]
Cousin Rocket: Lunch time! Who's hungry?
[animals chittering]
Cousin Rocket: Plenty for everypony. Slow down, sweetie. [giggles]
Thumper: [thumps on ground]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go, Thumper.
Thumper: [continues thumping] I'm not having hay.
Cousin Rocket: Okay, Mister Picky-pants, you win. Carrots, lettuce and apples, yum-yum-yum!
[crash]
Thumper: No, I'm not eating that gross junk.
Cousin Rocket: What? But... Well then, what will you eat? (Thumper shows Cousin Rocket the recipe he wants) I'm not sure I can even make that. Well... I don't want you to starve... Oh, are you sure I can't tempt you with a nice crisp piece of–
[smack]
Thumper: No! Make me the recipe or I'll starve.
Cousin Rocket: [sighs] I'll make your special recipe.
Thumper: Good, now head out.

(Little Einsteins theme)

Cousin Rocket: Hmm, let's see. Asparagus. (the person cut in front of her) Excuse me, um, I think you just stepped in front of me? Excuse me, I think you made a mistake? You see I was actually here first and–
Pat: Sorry, didn't notice you there.
Cousin Rocket: I know.
(another person cut in front of her)
Chester: [chuckles]
Cousin Rocket: Oh, pardon me, sir–
Chester: Yes, what?
Cousin Rocket: I think you just cut in front of me.
Chester: A cut of celery? But– this is the asparagus stand!
Cousin Rocket: I said [into ear trumpet] I think you just cut in front of me.
Chester: Ohoh, no need, dearie, I'm already in front!
Cousin Rocket: I noticed.
(then two girls cut in front of Cousin Rocket)
Sadie: [fades in] ...And I was like, 'Oh, wow.'
Cousin Rocket: Hey!
Sadie: Would you mind moving back? You're in my personal space.
Cousin Rocket: But–
Katie: Seriously, do you need your asparagus so badly? Get a life.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. There's no rush.
June: Cousin Rocket, you mustn't let them treat you that way.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, it's-it's really no big deal...
Annie: It's bigger than big. It's double big. You are a problem.
Cousin Rocket: What problem? Oh, go right ahead, Annie. You first.
Annie: Right there! That's the problem your having.
June: You've got to stop being such a doormat.
Cousin Rocket: A doormat?
June: A pushover, darling. You've got to stand up for yourself, promise us.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. I promise. Oh! Good!
[money clinking]
Cousin Rocket: Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.
June: Watch and learn. Hold it right there, Mister small and handsome.
Nick: Uh, who, me?
June: Oh, of course you. Nopony ever called you handsome before?
Nick: Uhh, that'd be a big no.
June: Oh, well, they should! How about flexing some of your muscles for me? [gasps] Oh, my heavens! Do you think a strong, handsome man such as yourself could give my friend the last asparagus?
[money clinking]
Nick: [mumbles] Nuhh.
June: See, that's not so hard, is it?
Cousin Rocket: Um... I guess not.
June: Alright then! What else is on your list?
Cousin Rocket: Let's see... I also need tomatoes.

(at the tomato stand)
[Cousin Rocket purchase 3 tomatoes for $5]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go.
Daffy: [clears throat] That'll be $10. Not one.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, but last week, it was only 5.
Daffy: That was then, this is now.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. I don't wanna argue about it.
Annie: What do you think you're doing?
Daffy: Minding my own business, maybe you should try it.
Annie: $10 for tomatoes is outrageous. $5 is the right price.
Daffy: I say it's 10.
Annie: 5.
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 5!
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 5!
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 10!
Daffy: 5!
Annie: 10!
Daffy: 5!
Annie: I insist it's 10 or nothing!
Daffy: 5 and that's my final offer!
Annie: Have it your way, $5 it is!
Annie and June: [giggles]
Annie: See? Asserting yourself can be fun!
Cousin Rocket: I guess you're right!
June: So, Cousin Rocket, do you feel like giving it a try?
Cousin Rocket: Um... okay. [to self] I need that cherry. [to Jolly Cherry] Boy, am I glad you have one cherry left. You see, I'm making this special meal for my bunny Thumper. He's a very picky eater, and the recipe calls for a cherry on top.
[money out]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go.
Jolly Cherry: So, you say you need this cherry 'very badly'.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, yes, I'm desperate for it!
Jolly Cherry: Then it'll be $20!
Cousin Rocket: 20?! Oh, hey, mister handsome, I know you wanna do the right thing because you're handsome and strong, and big, handsome, strong guys are always nice to everyone, right?
Jolly Cherry: 20 for the cherry.
Cousin Rocket: 20 for one cherry's outrageous! I insist on paying you...$30!
Jolly Cherry: 30?
Cousin Rocket: Umm...I mean, 15!
Jolly Cherry: Er, now wait a minute.
Cousin Rocket: Okay, $40, but that's my final offer!
Jolly Cherry: I think you're confused.
Cousin Rocket: It's 40, take it or leave it.
Jolly Cherry: Okay, I'll take it!
Annie: Don't give him your money! One cherry is not worth 40!
Cousin Rocket: But... I was only doing what you did.
June: It was a valiant effort, but you should refuse to give him your business and just walk away.
Cousin Rocket: But... I can't let Thumper starve! He won't eat it unless I make it just right! I need that cherry no matter what it costs!
Jolly Cherry: In that case, $50!
Cousin Rocket: 50?! Oh, but, I don't have that much!
Jolly Cherry: Then why're you wasting my time?
Lucy: I'll give you $20 for that cherry!
Jolly Cherry: Sold! Eh, tough break, kid. Next time, don't be such a doormat.
Cousin Rocket: (sigh) Thanks alot girls, I guess I better be heading home then. Oh, Thumper will not like this.

Sheep: [bleats]
Cousin Rocket: Ta-da! Here you go, Thumper. Sorry there's no cherry on top, but the rest of it is exactly what you wanted. Angel?
(crash)
Thumper: No! You made it wrong, you're such a doormat, now get out there and try again.
(slams)
Cousin Rocket: [sighs] Look at me... I really am a doormat. (she reads a note) "The incredible Hulk turns doormats into dynamos. Assertiveness seminar today, hedge maze centre." As God is my witness, I'm never gonna be a pushover again!

[people chattering]
Cousin Rocket: Oh! Uh... excuse me! [squeaks]
[kick]
[thump]
[music starts]
Sheep: [bleats]
Goat: [bleats]
[fireworks explode]
[ponies cheering]
Hulk: [kissing] Welcome, friends! My name is the Hulk, and today is the first day of your new life! I wanna hear you cheer if you're tired of being a pushover!
[people cheering]
Hulk: Cheer if you're tired of being a doormat!
[people cheering]
Hulk: Cheer if you wanna pay nothing for this seminar!
[people cheering, expressing confusion, then laughing]
Hulk: That's no joke, friends. Hulk's so confident that you will be one hundred percent satisfied with Hulk's assertiveness techniques, that if you are not one hundred percent satisfied, you. Pay. Nothing. But I pity the fool who doubts Hulk's methods! You don't doubt me, do you?
Twinkle: Uh-uh, no sir...
People: [general agreement]
Hulk: That, my friends, is your first lesson. "Don't be shy; look them in the eye."
[people chattering]
Hulk: Now, to demonstrate that Hulk's techniques will work for anyone, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
Goat: [bleats]
Sheep: [bleats]
Hulk: You in the back row!
Cousin Rocket: Who, me?
Hulk: Yes, you! Hulk wants you onstage!
Cousin Rocket: [gulps] Uh, well...
Hulk: Now!
Cousin Rocket: [whispering] Okay.
(as Cousin Rocket enters the stage, the sheep blocks her way)
Hulk: Whoaa! He's blocking your path. What are you gonna do about it?
Cousin Rocket: Um, politely walk around him?
Hulk: No.
Cousin Rocket: Gingerly tip-toe around him?
Hulk: No!
Cousin Rocket: Go back home and try again tomorrow?
Hulk: No! "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Cousin Rocket: Oh! Sorry.
Hulk: Don't be sorry! Be assertive! "Never apologize when you can criticize." [clears throat] Why don't you watch where you're going!? Now, you try.
Cousin Rocket: Uh... next time, get out of the way before... I bump into you, 'cause... I totally won't be sorry when I do!
[cha-ching]
Hulk: You see, my friends? If my techniques can work for this shy, rocketship, then they can work for anyone!
[crowd cheers]

Cousin Rocket: Okay, I feel good. I feel ready to "attack the day", as Hulk says.
[water spraying]
Richard Watterson: [humming]
Cousin Rocket: Excuse me, Mr. Watterson, but I-I think you might be over-watering my plants...
Richard Watterson: [chuckles]
Cousin Rocket: ...again.
Richard Watterson: Let the professional handle it. [humming]
Cousin Rocket: "Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over."
(Cousin Rocket steps onto the hose)
Richard Watterson: Hm? Hmm... (water sprays at him) [coughs and sputters] Well, perhaps that is enough water.
Cousin Rocket: Thank you. [excited giggle] I can't believe my assertiveness worked!

Amy: Showpeople business is tough.
Samey: Go ahead, try one of your jokes out on me. I laugh at everything.
Amy: Okay, okay, okay. A horse and a donkey are stuck on a desert island...
Cousin Rocket: [clears throat] Excuse me? Would you mind moving your carts so I can pass?
Amy: Yeah yeah, in a minute, I just wanna finish up this story. And so the horse says to the donkey–
Cousin Rocket: A-hemmmm, can you move? You're blocking my path.
Amy: Yeah yeah, in a minute! So the horse says to the donkey... [fades under] (Why don't we build a boat to get off this island? [laughs])
Cousin Rocket: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Amy: ...and the donkey says–
(thanks to Cousin Rocket, she tilt the cart full of trash onto Amy and Samey)
[splat]
Amy: Ugh! Easy does it, lady. We're moving, okay?
Cousin Rocket: Good!

Annie: Who's next please? And what can I get for you today?
(a girl cuts in front of Cousin Rocket)
Cousin Rocket: What do you think you're doing?! Didn't you see me?
Penny: Uh, I guess maybe.
Cousin Rocket: 'Maybe'? "Maybes are for babies!" [growling] Now go to the back of the line where you belong!
Penny: (yelps)
[people gasp]
[VCR rewind sound]
Annie: Heyyy, look at you!
June: Oh, your attitude is so feisty, it's fabulous.
Annie: Looks like that monster's workshop really paid off!
Cousin Rocket: Hulk's not a monster. He's a man, and a true inspiration. His techniques really work.
June: Well, they've certainly made a difference in the way you carry yourself. You truly are a whole new Cousin Rocket.
Cousin Rocket: Yes I am. And new Cousin Rocket feels pretty stoked about new Cousin Rocket.
Annie: Well, old Annie feels really proud of new Cousin Rocket. Proud as punch. Want some? [giggles]
Cousin Rocket: "You laugh at me, I wrath at you!"
(Cousin Rocket slaps the glass out of Annie's grasp)
[crash]
Cousin Rocket: Bye, girls. What a day. Taxi! (the taxi came, but someone cut and got in before her) Oh no you don't. "Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!"
[fight sounds]
John: (screams)
Cousin Rocket: Nobody pushes new Cousin Rocket around! Nobody!
(the taxi leaves)
Annie: Old Annie is not so sure new Cousin Rocket is such a good idea after all.
June: Old June agrees.

Cousin Rocket: You got this, new Cousin Rocket! This day is yours! And no one's gonna take it away from you! Am I right?! Right! What?! He's delivered the wrong mail, again!
Postman Pat: Oh–
Cousin Rocket: And new Cousin Rocket does not want the wrong mail delivered to her cottage.
Postman Pat: Ohh, did I mix them up again? Sorry about that.
Cousin Rocket: "You apologize, I penalize!"
[crash]
Postman Pat: Oh!
[stamp]
Mable: Excuse me, do you know how to get to San Francisco?
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Sure, you just turn– [gasps]
Mable: Oh, that's a shame.
Cousin Rocket: [growls] "You make me lose, I blow my fuse!"
(Cousin Rocket throws Mable far away to San Francisco)
Mable: Whoa! Hey!
[splash]
(sea lions barking)
June: Cousin Rocket! What are you doing?! That's no way to behave!
Cousin Rocket: Didn't you see what she did to new Cousin Rocket? And she thought new Cousin Rocket was a pushover!
June: No, sweetie, she didn't. We saw the whole thing. We think that you've taken your assertiveness training a little too far.
Cousin Rocket: What?! You just want new Cousin Rocket to be a doormat like old Cousin Rocket! But she is gone!
Annie: New you? Old you!?
June: What happened to nice Cousin Rocket? We want that old Cousin Rocket back.
Cousin Rocket: No, you want wimpy Cousin Rocket. You want pushover Cousin Rocket. You want do-anything-to-her-and-she-won't-complain Cousin Rocket!
Annie: Ooh! Too many Cousin Rockets to keep track of! Make it stop!
Cousin Rocket: Things getting too complicated for your simple little brain, Annie?
June: Now, stop right there! Let's not let things descend into petty insults!
Cousin Rocket: Why not? I thought 'petty' was what you're all about, June. With your 'petty' concerns about fashion.
June: [gasps]
Annie: Hey, leave her alone! Fashion is her passion!
Cousin Rocket: Oh, and what are you passionate about? Birthday cake? Party hats? I can't believe that the two most frivolous girls in Los Angeles are trying to tell new Cousin Rocket how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that no one else gives a flying feather about!
Annie: [starts crying] Looks like nasty Cousin Rocket is here to stay!
June: [starts crying] I cannot believe what that monster Hulk has done to you!
Annie and June: [crying] (running off)
Cousin Rocket: Hulk's not a monster, he's a man! [growls] (she looks at her reflection) [whimper] I'm the monster.

[wind blows]
[wolf howls]
June: [knocks, clears throat] Cousin Rocket, are you in there?
Annie: It's Annie and June!
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Go away! Go away before nasty Cousin Rocket strikes again!
June: Oh, sweetie, we all said things that we regret.
Annie: We did?
June: Shh.
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Annie's right. I'm the only one to blame. [normal] But don't worry, I'm never coming out of my house again. Everyone will be a lot safer with me and my mean mouth locked away.
June: [muffled] Sweetie, [normal] Annie doesn't blame you, nor do I. You just received some bad advice from that Hulk character.
Annie: Yeah! He's the one that made you act super-duper nasty. What I mean is, there are other ways to assert yourself besides yelling at everyone.
June: Yes! [muffled] You can stand up for yourself without being unpleasant about it.
Cousin Rocket: I-I'm not sure I can. I'm too far gone. Whenever I try to assert myself, I become a monster.
[lightning strikes]
June: Oh, sweetie, you're not a monster.
Annie: No, but he is.
Hulk: Hulk's my name, training people is my game.
[pause]
June: What a darling little catchphrase.
Hulk: Your friend Cousin Rocket loved Hulk's catchphrases. Word on the street is that she doesn't take no guff from no one! So, Hulk is here to collect the fee.
Annie: Cousin Rocket is in no shape to deal with that creep!
June: [gasps] I'm sure a big, brave, powerful, and rich monster– I mean, man like you doesn't need that money right away. You can afford to come back later.
Hulk: Are you kidding? Cousin Rocket is overdue as it is. Hulk collects now.
[thud]
June: Do something!
[wood crunching]
Annie: We're not even sure Cousin Rocket is home right now. Uh, she might be off frolicking with some woodland creatures. Uh, why don't you give us some time to track her down for ya?
Hulk: Hulk does have some grocery shopping to do. Hulk will come back this afternoon.
Annie: But that's only half a day. We need one full day at least.
Hulk: Hulk will delay for half a day and no longer!
Annie: A full day!
Hulk: Half day!
Annie: Full day!
Hulk: Half day!
Annie: Half day!
Hulk: Full day!
Annie: We need half a day and no more!
Hulk: Well, you'll get a full day and no less!
Annie: Okie-dokie. See you tomorrow.
Hulk: Wait, what?
Cousin Rocket: [sneezes]
Hulk: Huh, sounds like the search won't be necessary. Hulk collects now.
Annie: But we had an agreement! You gotta come back tomorrow!
Hulk: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
(Hulk throws Annie)
Annie: Whoa, what are you. [screams]
[splash]
Annie: [spits]
Goat: [munching]
[crunch]
Hulk: Your payment is overdue, Cousin Rocket! [knocks]
[door opens]
Hulk: [snorts] You were nothing but a doormat, and Hulk turned you into a lean, mean, assertive machine! Now, pay Hulk what you owe Hulk!
Cousin Rocket: Um, no.
Goat: [munching]
Sheep: [bleats]
Hulk: What did you say?
Cousin Rocket: No.
Hulk: Ohhh, I'd hate to be you right now, because Hulk is gonna rain down a world of hurt unless Hulk gets his money pronto! [snorts]
Cousin Rocket: As I recall, during your workshop you promised one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, or you pay nothing. Well, I'm not satisfied.
Hulk: What do you mean you're not satisfied?! Everyone has always been satisfied!
Cousin Rocket: Well, I guess I'm the first then. But since I'm not satisfied, I refuse to pay. It's as simple as that.
[goat and sheep bleating]
Hulk: Ohh, are you... sure you're not just a little bit satisfied? B-because maybe... we could cut a deal. I-I mean we're both reasonable people, aren't we?
Cousin Rocket: I'm sorry, but no means no.
Hulk: No means no, huh? No one's ever said that to me before. Huh... I gotta remember that one. That's a good catchphrase for my next workshop.
[goat bleating]
Annie: You were amazing, Cousin Rocket! You totally stood up to that monster!
June: In fact, you didn't change at all! You were the same old Cousin Rocket that we've always loved!
Annie: The one we missed!
Cousin Rocket: Don't worry, old Cousin Rocket's back for good. I'm sorry I took the whole assertiveness thing too far. Friends?
June and Annie: Friends.
Cousin Rocket, Annie and June: [laughing]

Cousin Rocket: Dear Princess Sunlight,
Sometimes it can be hard for a shy person like me to stand up for myself, and when I first tried it, I didn't like the person I became. But I've learned that standing up for yourself isn't the same as changing who you are. Now I know how to put my wheel down without being unpleasant or mean.

(at the cottage)
(Thumper refused to eat his usual salad until he gets his special recipe)
Cousin Rocket: Thumper, I know that I'm going to make that special recipe that you requested, but I'm sorry, I won't let it happened, you must eat the food I provided for you.
Thumper: Make me that recipe now or I'll starve.
Cousin Rocket: (using her stare) No!
Thumper: (looking at her stare) Huh. (he takes a bite and realized he likes the usual salad) Huh, I like it. (munching)
Cousin Rocket: I guess my stare works for Thumper.

Description
Sick and tired from being a doormat, Cousin Rocket seeks out someone who will help her be more assertive.

(at the cottage)
[bell rings]
Cousin Rocket: Lunch time! Who's hungry?
[animals chittering]
Cousin Rocket: Plenty for everypony. Slow down, sweetie. [giggles]
Thumper: [thumps on ground]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go, Thumper.
Thumper: [continues thumping] I'm not having hay.
Cousin Rocket: Okay, Mister Picky-pants, you win. Carrots, lettuce and apples, yum-yum-yum!
[crash]
Thumper: No, I'm not eating that gross junk.
Cousin Rocket: What? But... Well then, what will you eat? (Thumper shows Cousin Rocket the recipe he wants) I'm not sure I can even make that. Well... I don't want you to starve... Oh, are you sure I can't tempt you with a nice crisp piece of–
[smack]
Thumper: No! Make me the recipe or I'll starve.
Cousin Rocket: [sighs] I'll make your special recipe.
Thumper: Good, now head out.

(Little Einsteins theme)

Cousin Rocket: Hmm, let's see. Asparagus. (the person cut in front of her) Excuse me, um, I think you just stepped in front of me? Excuse me, I think you made a mistake? You see I was actually here first and–
Pat: Sorry, didn't notice you there.
Cousin Rocket: I know.
(another person cut in front of her)
Chester: [chuckles]
Cousin Rocket: Oh, pardon me, sir–
Chester: Yes, what?
Cousin Rocket: I think you just cut in front of me.
Chester: A cut of celery? But– this is the asparagus stand!
Cousin Rocket: I said [into ear trumpet] I think you just cut in front of me.
Chester: Ohoh, no need, dearie, I'm already in front!
Cousin Rocket: I noticed.
(then two girls cut in front of Cousin Rocket)
Sadie: [fades in] ...And I was like, 'Oh, wow.'
Cousin Rocket: Hey!
Sadie: Would you mind moving back? You're in my personal space.
Cousin Rocket: But–
Katie: Seriously, do you need your asparagus so badly? Get a life.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. There's no rush.
June: Cousin Rocket, you mustn't let them treat you that way.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, it's-it's really no big deal...
Annie: It's bigger than big. It's double big. You are a problem.
Cousin Rocket: What problem? Oh, go right ahead, Annie. You first.
Annie: Right there! That's the problem your having.
June: You've got to stop being such a doormat.
Cousin Rocket: A doormat?
June: A pushover, darling. You've got to stand up for yourself, promise us.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. I promise. Oh! Good!
[money clinking]
Cousin Rocket: Oh, that's okay, I don't mind.
June: Watch and learn. Hold it right there, Mister small and handsome.
Nick: Uh, who, me?
June: Oh, of course you. Nopony ever called you handsome before?
Nick: Uhh, that'd be a big no.
June: Oh, well, they should! How about flexing some of your muscles for me? [gasps] Oh, my heavens! Do you think a strong, handsome man such as yourself could give my friend the last asparagus?
[money clinking]
Nick: [mumbles] Nuhh.
June: See, that's not so hard, is it?
Cousin Rocket: Um... I guess not.
June: Alright then! What else is on your list?
Cousin Rocket: Let's see... I also need tomatoes.

(at the tomato stand)
[Cousin Rocket purchase 3 tomatoes for $5]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go.
Daffy: [clears throat] That'll be $10. Not one.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, but last week, it was only 5.
Daffy: That was then, this is now.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, okay. I don't wanna argue about it.
Annie: What do you think you're doing?
Daffy: Minding my own business, maybe you should try it.
Annie: $10 for tomatoes is outrageous. $5 is the right price.
Daffy: I say it's 10.
Annie: 5.
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 5!
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 5!
Daffy: 10!
Annie: 10!
Daffy: 5!
Annie: 10!
Daffy: 5!
Annie: I insist it's 10 or nothing!
Daffy: 5 and that's my final offer!
Annie: Have it your way, $5 it is!
Annie and June: [giggles]
Annie: See? Asserting yourself can be fun!
Cousin Rocket: I guess you're right!
June: So, Cousin Rocket, do you feel like giving it a try?
Cousin Rocket: Um... okay. [to self] I need that cherry. [to Jolly Cherry] Boy, am I glad you have one cherry left. You see, I'm making this special meal for my bunny Thumper. He's a very picky eater, and the recipe calls for a cherry on top.
[money out]
Cousin Rocket: Here you go.
Jolly Cherry: So, you say you need this cherry 'very badly'.
Cousin Rocket: Oh, yes, I'm desperate for it!
Jolly Cherry: Then it'll be $20!
Cousin Rocket: 20?! Oh, hey, mister handsome, I know you wanna do the right thing because you're handsome and strong, and big, handsome, strong guys are always nice to everyone, right?
Jolly Cherry: 20 for the cherry.
Cousin Rocket: 20 for one cherry's outrageous! I insist on paying you...$30!
Jolly Cherry: 30?
Cousin Rocket: Umm...I mean, 15!
Jolly Cherry: Er, now wait a minute.
Cousin Rocket: Okay, $40, but that's my final offer!
Jolly Cherry: I think you're confused.
Cousin Rocket: It's 40, take it or leave it.
Jolly Cherry: Okay, I'll take it!
Annie: Don't give him your money! One cherry is not worth 40!
Cousin Rocket: But... I was only doing what you did.
June: It was a valiant effort, but you should refuse to give him your business and just walk away.
Cousin Rocket: But... I can't let Thumper starve! He won't eat it unless I make it just right! I need that cherry no matter what it costs!
Jolly Cherry: In that case, $50!
Cousin Rocket: 50?! Oh, but, I don't have that much!
Jolly Cherry: Then why're you wasting my time?
Lucy: I'll give you $20 for that cherry!
Jolly Cherry: Sold! Eh, tough break, kid. Next time, don't be such a doormat.
Cousin Rocket: (sigh) Thanks alot girls, I guess I better be heading home then. Oh, Thumper will not like this.

Sheep: [bleats]
Cousin Rocket: Ta-da! Here you go, Thumper. Sorry there's no cherry on top, but the rest of it is exactly what you wanted. Angel?
(crash)
Thumper: No! You made it wrong, you're such a doormat, now get out there and try again.
(slams)
Cousin Rocket: [sighs] Look at me... I really am a doormat. (she reads a note) "The incredible Hulk turns doormats into dynamos. Assertiveness seminar today, hedge maze centre." As God is my witness, I'm never gonna be a pushover again!

[people chattering]
Cousin Rocket: Oh! Uh... excuse me! [squeaks]
[kick]
[thump]
[music starts]
Sheep: [bleats]
Goat: [bleats]
[fireworks explode]
[ponies cheering]
Hulk: [kissing] Welcome, friends! My name is the Hulk, and today is the first day of your new life! I wanna hear you cheer if you're tired of being a pushover!
[people cheering]
Hulk: Cheer if you're tired of being a doormat!
[people cheering]
Hulk: Cheer if you wanna pay nothing for this seminar!
[people cheering, expressing confusion, then laughing]
Hulk: That's no joke, friends. Hulk's so confident that you will be one hundred percent satisfied with Hulk's assertiveness techniques, that if you are not one hundred percent satisfied, you. Pay. Nothing. But I pity the fool who doubts Hulk's methods! You don't doubt me, do you?
Twinkle: Uh-uh, no sir...
People: [general agreement]
Hulk: That, my friends, is your first lesson. "Don't be shy; look them in the eye."
[people chattering]
Hulk: Now, to demonstrate that Hulk's techniques will work for anyone, I'm gonna need a volunteer.
Goat: [bleats]
Sheep: [bleats]
Hulk: You in the back row!
Cousin Rocket: Who, me?
Hulk: Yes, you! Hulk wants you onstage!
Cousin Rocket: [gulps] Uh, well...
Hulk: Now!
Cousin Rocket: [whispering] Okay.
(as Cousin Rocket enters the stage, the sheep blocks her way)
Hulk: Whoaa! He's blocking your path. What are you gonna do about it?
Cousin Rocket: Um, politely walk around him?
Hulk: No.
Cousin Rocket: Gingerly tip-toe around him?
Hulk: No!
Cousin Rocket: Go back home and try again tomorrow?
Hulk: No! "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Cousin Rocket: Oh! Sorry.
Hulk: Don't be sorry! Be assertive! "Never apologize when you can criticize." [clears throat] Why don't you watch where you're going!? Now, you try.
Cousin Rocket: Uh... next time, get out of the way before... I bump into you, 'cause... I totally won't be sorry when I do!
[cha-ching]
Hulk: You see, my friends? If my techniques can work for this shy, rocketship, then they can work for anyone!
[crowd cheers]

Cousin Rocket: Okay, I feel good. I feel ready to "attack the day", as Hulk says.
[water spraying]
Richard Watterson: [humming]
Cousin Rocket: Excuse me, Mr. Watterson, but I-I think you might be over-watering my plants...
Richard Watterson: [chuckles]
Cousin Rocket: ...again.
Richard Watterson: Let the professional handle it. [humming]
Cousin Rocket: "Treat me like a pushover, and you'll get the once over."
(Cousin Rocket steps onto the hose)
Richard Watterson: Hm? Hmm... (water sprays at him) [coughs and sputters] Well, perhaps that is enough water.
Cousin Rocket: Thank you. [excited giggle] I can't believe my assertiveness worked!

Amy: Showpeople business is tough.
Samey: Go ahead, try one of your jokes out on me. I laugh at everything.
Amy: Okay, okay, okay. A horse and a donkey are stuck on a desert island...
Cousin Rocket: [clears throat] Excuse me? Would you mind moving your carts so I can pass?
Amy: Yeah yeah, in a minute, I just wanna finish up this story. And so the horse says to the donkey–
Cousin Rocket: A-hemmmm, can you move? You're blocking my path.
Amy: Yeah yeah, in a minute! So the horse says to the donkey... [fades under] (Why don't we build a boat to get off this island? [laughs])
Cousin Rocket: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
Amy: ...and the donkey says–
(thanks to Cousin Rocket, she tilt the cart full of trash onto Amy and Samey)
[splat]
Amy: Ugh! Easy does it, lady. We're moving, okay?
Cousin Rocket: Good!

Annie: Who's next please? And what can I get for you today?
(a girl cuts in front of Cousin Rocket)
Cousin Rocket: What do you think you're doing?! Didn't you see me?
Penny: Uh, I guess maybe.
Cousin Rocket: 'Maybe'? "Maybes are for babies!" [growling] Now go to the back of the line where you belong!
Penny: (yelps)
[people gasp]
[VCR rewind sound]
Annie: Heyyy, look at you!
June: Oh, your attitude is so feisty, it's fabulous.
Annie: Looks like that monster's workshop really paid off!
Cousin Rocket: Hulk's not a monster. He's a man, and a true inspiration. His techniques really work.
June: Well, they've certainly made a difference in the way you carry yourself. You truly are a whole new Cousin Rocket.
Cousin Rocket: Yes I am. And new Cousin Rocket feels pretty stoked about new Cousin Rocket.
Annie: Well, old Annie feels really proud of new Cousin Rocket. Proud as punch. Want some? [giggles]
Cousin Rocket: "You laugh at me, I wrath at you!"
(Cousin Rocket slaps the glass out of Annie's grasp)
[crash]
Cousin Rocket: Bye, girls. What a day. Taxi! (the taxi came, but someone cut and got in before her) Oh no you don't. "Cut in line, I'll take what's mine!"
[fight sounds]
John: (screams)
Cousin Rocket: Nobody pushes new Cousin Rocket around! Nobody!
(the taxi leaves)
Annie: Old Annie is not so sure new Cousin Rocket is such a good idea after all.
June: Old June agrees.

Cousin Rocket: You got this, new Cousin Rocket! This day is yours! And no one's gonna take it away from you! Am I right?! Right! What?! He's delivered the wrong mail, again!
Postman Pat: Oh–
Cousin Rocket: And new Cousin Rocket does not want the wrong mail delivered to her cottage.
Postman Pat: Ohh, did I mix them up again? Sorry about that.
Cousin Rocket: "You apologize, I penalize!"
[crash]
Postman Pat: Oh!
[stamp]
Mable: Excuse me, do you know how to get to San Francisco?
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Sure, you just turn– [gasps]
Mable: Oh, that's a shame.
Cousin Rocket: [growls] "You make me lose, I blow my fuse!"
(Cousin Rocket throws Mable far away to San Francisco)
Mable: Whoa! Hey!
[splash]
(sea lions barking)
June: Cousin Rocket! What are you doing?! That's no way to behave!
Cousin Rocket: Didn't you see what she did to new Cousin Rocket? And she thought new Cousin Rocket was a pushover!
June: No, sweetie, she didn't. We saw the whole thing. We think that you've taken your assertiveness training a little too far.
Cousin Rocket: What?! You just want new Cousin Rocket to be a doormat like old Cousin Rocket! But she is gone!
Annie: New you? Old you!?
June: What happened to nice Cousin Rocket? We want that old Cousin Rocket back.
Cousin Rocket: No, you want wimpy Cousin Rocket. You want pushover Cousin Rocket. You want do-anything-to-her-and-she-won't-complain Cousin Rocket!
Annie: Ooh! Too many Cousin Rockets to keep track of! Make it stop!
Cousin Rocket: Things getting too complicated for your simple little brain, Annie?
June: Now, stop right there! Let's not let things descend into petty insults!
Cousin Rocket: Why not? I thought 'petty' was what you're all about, June. With your 'petty' concerns about fashion.
June: [gasps]
Annie: Hey, leave her alone! Fashion is her passion!
Cousin Rocket: Oh, and what are you passionate about? Birthday cake? Party hats? I can't believe that the two most frivolous girls in Los Angeles are trying to tell new Cousin Rocket how to live her life when they are throwing their own lives away on pointless pursuits that no one else gives a flying feather about!
Annie: [starts crying] Looks like nasty Cousin Rocket is here to stay!
June: [starts crying] I cannot believe what that monster Hulk has done to you!
Annie and June: [crying] (running off)
Cousin Rocket: Hulk's not a monster, he's a man! [growls] (she looks at her reflection) [whimper] I'm the monster.

[wind blows]
[wolf howls]
June: [knocks, clears throat] Cousin Rocket, are you in there?
Annie: It's Annie and June!
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Go away! Go away before nasty Cousin Rocket strikes again!
June: Oh, sweetie, we all said things that we regret.
Annie: We did?
June: Shh.
Cousin Rocket: [muffled] Annie's right. I'm the only one to blame. [normal] But don't worry, I'm never coming out of my house again. Everyone will be a lot safer with me and my mean mouth locked away.
June: [muffled] Sweetie, [normal] Annie doesn't blame you, nor do I. You just received some bad advice from that Hulk character.
Annie: Yeah! He's the one that made you act super-duper nasty. What I mean is, there are other ways to assert yourself besides yelling at everyone.
June: Yes! [muffled] You can stand up for yourself without being unpleasant about it.
Cousin Rocket: I-I'm not sure I can. I'm too far gone. Whenever I try to assert myself, I become a monster.
[lightning strikes]
June: Oh, sweetie, you're not a monster.
Annie: No, but he is.
Hulk: Hulk's my name, training people is my game.
[pause]
June: What a darling little catchphrase.
Hulk: Your friend Cousin Rocket loved Hulk's catchphrases. Word on the street is that she doesn't take no guff from no one! So, Hulk is here to collect the fee.
Annie: Cousin Rocket is in no shape to deal with that creep!
June: [gasps] I'm sure a big, brave, powerful, and rich monster– I mean, man like you doesn't need that money right away. You can afford to come back later.
Hulk: Are you kidding? Cousin Rocket is overdue as it is. Hulk collects now.
[thud]
June: Do something!
[wood crunching]
Annie: We're not even sure Cousin Rocket is home right now. Uh, she might be off frolicking with some woodland creatures. Uh, why don't you give us some time to track her down for ya?
Hulk: Hulk does have some grocery shopping to do. Hulk will come back this afternoon.
Annie: But that's only half a day. We need one full day at least.
Hulk: Hulk will delay for half a day and no longer!
Annie: A full day!
Hulk: Half day!
Annie: Full day!
Hulk: Half day!
Annie: Half day!
Hulk: Full day!
Annie: We need half a day and no more!
Hulk: Well, you'll get a full day and no less!
Annie: Okie-dokie. See you tomorrow.
Hulk: Wait, what?
Cousin Rocket: [sneezes]
Hulk: Huh, sounds like the search won't be necessary. Hulk collects now.
Annie: But we had an agreement! You gotta come back tomorrow!
Hulk: "When somepony tries to block, show them that you rock!"
(Hulk throws Annie)
Annie: Whoa, what are you. [screams]
[splash]
Annie: [spits]
Goat: [munching]
[crunch]
Hulk: Your payment is overdue, Cousin Rocket! [knocks]
[door opens]
Hulk: [snorts] You were nothing but a doormat, and Hulk turned you into a lean, mean, assertive machine! Now, pay Hulk what you owe Hulk!
Cousin Rocket: Um, no.
Goat: [munching]
Sheep: [bleats]
Hulk: What did you say?
Cousin Rocket: No.
Hulk: Ohhh, I'd hate to be you right now, because Hulk is gonna rain down a world of hurt unless Hulk gets his money pronto! [snorts]
Cousin Rocket: As I recall, during your workshop you promised one hundred percent satisfaction guaranteed, or you pay nothing. Well, I'm not satisfied.
Hulk: What do you mean you're not satisfied?! Everyone has always been satisfied!
Cousin Rocket: Well, I guess I'm the first then. But since I'm not satisfied, I refuse to pay. It's as simple as that.
[goat and sheep bleating]
Hulk: Ohh, are you... sure you're not just a little bit satisfied? B-because maybe... we could cut a deal. I-I mean we're both reasonable people, aren't we?
Cousin Rocket: I'm sorry, but no means no.
Hulk: No means no, huh? No one's ever said that to me before. Huh... I gotta remember that one. That's a good catchphrase for my next workshop.
[goat bleating]
Annie: You were amazing, Cousin Rocket! You totally stood up to that monster!
June: In fact, you didn't change at all! You were the same old Cousin Rocket that we've always loved!
Annie: The one we missed!
Cousin Rocket: Don't worry, old Cousin Rocket's back for good. I'm sorry I took the whole assertiveness thing too far. Friends?
June and Annie: Friends.
Cousin Rocket, Annie and June: [laughing]

Cousin Rocket: Dear Princess Sunlight,
Sometimes it can be hard for a shy person like me to stand up for myself, and when I first tried it, I didn't like the person I became. But I've learned that standing up for yourself isn't the same as changing who you are. Now I know how to put my wheel down without being unpleasant or mean.

(at the cottage)
(Thumper refused to eat his usual salad until he gets his special recipe)
Cousin Rocket: Thumper, I know that I'm going to make that special recipe that you requested, but I'm sorry, I won't let it happened, you must eat the food I provided for you.
Thumper: Make me that recipe now or I'll starve.
Cousin Rocket: (using her stare) No!
Thumper: (looking at her stare) Huh. (he takes a bite and realized he likes the usual salad) Huh, I like it. (munching)
Cousin Rocket: I guess my stare works for Thumper.