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DrCrafty — AT4W: 200th Episode
Published: 2012-07-31 13:10:39 +0000 UTC; Views: 4239; Favourites: 110; Downloads: 75
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Memorable quotes from episode 200:
Narrative: "Tune your ear to the frequency of despair, and cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony. Listen. Listen."
Linkara: *after a good ol' face palm* "...FIRST... SENTENCE!!! THAT IS ONE OF THE DUMBEST, MOST OVERWRITTEN, NONSENSICAL SENTENCES EVER PUT INTO A MAINSTREAM STORY! This is "'Punk' is nothing but death, crime and the rage of a beast" level of WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?!?! "Tune your EAR to the frequency of despair"???! What the Sam flippin' Hill is THAT supposed to mean!?!? "Cross-reference by the longitude and latitude of a heart in agony"!? So - we- we're tryin' to track something on a map now!? What! Is this still connected to the frequency of despair??? W-what does an audio frequency have to do with map coordinates of "a heart in agony"!? And finally, most important of all, this comic tells us to "tune our ears" and "listen, listen". Kind of confusing instructions considering this is a COMIC BOOK, which we READ with our EYES!!"
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Linkara: "Anyway, he arrives at Stark Tower and makes a big scene, breaking into Stark's office from the air vents. Naturally, Tony Stark is a genius and is already way ahead of him, armoring up and smacks right into Peter, knocking him out a window! Instead of trying to talk to Tony, he just webs up his engines, forcing the two of them to crash. Iron Man points out the fact that that little stunt could've gotten them both killed."
Peter Parker: "Wanted to make sure... you didn't fly off... before I was done with you."
Linkara (as Peter Parker): "And then I'd break my own spine so I couldn't leave either!... wait."
Linkara: "Iron Man tries to arrest Peter, but to make a long story short, Peter webs up Iron Man into a giant cocoon. He then rips off Tony's mask so the two can talk."
Peter Parker: "Aunt May is dying! She's dying and it's your fault! I trusted you! I let you get close to me... you were like a father to me!"
Linkara: "Uh... not really, no... he wasn't. Anyway, he keeps ranting that this is all Tony's fault and that he needs to go help Aunt May, since she was an innocent in all of this. Wait, weren't you ranting earlier that this was all your fault, Peter? Look, I know you're still in the "anger" stage of grief, but at least make up your mind who you're blaming for all of this. Tony, unfortunately, refuses for the DUMBEST of reasons."
Tony Stark: "Any direct help I gave to you could be tracked back to me. I could be held liable for aiding and abetting a known criminal."
Linkara: "She's an old woman who got shot in the chest! I don't think anybody's gonna be that pissed that you paid for her medical care! And by the way, I'm pretty sure that SHE'S not the wanted fugitive!"
Tony Stark: "It would undermine everything I've been trying to build since the war."
Linkara: "No... no, it really wouldn't. In fact, I think anyone who criticized your decision to help her would, in reality, look like the bigger douchebag for saying so!"
Right Linkara: "An innocent old woman was shot in the chest by a sniper, because she happened to be related to a person who has saved thousands, if not millions of lives."
Left Linkara: "Let her diiiiieee."
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Linkara: "Allow me to share a revelation I've had. For all of his bluster about "With great power comes great responsibility", Peter Parker is one of the most irresponsible superheroes ever. He never learns from his mistakes. Never takes into consideration how his life as Spider-Man affects everybody else.
Now some would say that's the core concept of the character: the constant struggle between the mask and the man. But he never actually gives any consideration to the man, preferring to make excuses about it. He disappoints people around him all the time because "something more important" was happening as Spider-Man. But instead of trying to find ways to balance his two lives properly, he will go out of his way to make excuses and just be sad that being Spider-Man hurt his personal life. If he places more importance on being Spider-Man, then he should distance himself from relationships that would hurt that. If he places more emphasis on being Peter Parker, he needs to sacrifice his time as Spider-Man. Now, that's not always going to be the case for everyone in the real world. But Peter never actually changes as a result of his actions. He just makes the same mistakes over and over. During a storyline called "The Other", when Peter was dying from an untraceable condition (this was also written by [the author of One More Day], by the way), he admits that he doesn't even have life insurance. Peter has never made a plan about what would happen to his family if he were killed by a supervillain. He's never thought about the repercussions of his life if he should be maimed or killed while wearing the costume, to his wife or to his constantly dying aunt. In a recent issue of Avengers Academy", a group of teenage superheroes thought of several ways that he could have capitalized on being Spider-Man without revealing his identity to anyone. Now, admittedly, he was just a young, dumb teenager when he started out and didn't think of those things. But Peter is and has been an adult for decades now! Forget about whether you like Spidey being married or not. The character himself still seems to operate like he's in high school - never growing up, never seems to recognize adult relationships, and never actually taking responsibility for his life and the choices he's made. This is one of the reasons I decided to finally review One More Day. The deal with Mephisto is symptomatic of a bigger problem for the character and the people who write him: the unwillingness for the character to become an adult. He's supposed to be roughly twenty-five years old at the time of this story, maybe closer to thirty. And yet he repeatedly approaches his problems like a sixteen year old would, and is never actually prepared to act like a mature adult. I've made several jokes in the last two hundred episodes about how Peter Parker's life is an endless spiral of shame and misery, what with his friends and loved ones dying all around him or becoming supervillains because of his life as Spider-Man, and I mean it. The truth is that if Peter Parker ever cared about taking responsibility for his actions, he would have given up being Spider-Man a long time ago. But hey, maybe that's just the reasoning of a jaded individual looking at this stupid-ass comic in hindsight. Of course I don't want Peter Parker to stop being Spider-Man. What I want is for him to be written like a goddamn adult already! But the writers - and Marvel editorial - seem to steadfastly refuse to let that happen. Spider-Man is just escapist fantasy to them. The reason why they don't think there's "drama" in marriage is because marriage is an aspect of real life, and they don't want the escapism of Peter Parker swinging through the air and stopping bad guys being infected with the drama of things that people have to endure in the real world. And that's just hilarious since Spider-Man is supposed to be the character who DOES face the real life challenges of the world! That was what made his character so appealing to begin with: his ability to relate to the reader. But the truth is that the reader has grown up. The reader got married, had kids, has relatives that die, and they have to move on. The reader changed. But Peter Parker has not. You know, recently, there was a rumor that Marvel was doing its own reboot to compete with the one DC did last year. They're not, of course, they're just releasing whole bunch of new Number Ones. But you know what? Maybe they should reboot Spider-Man. After all, if the creative teams are unwilling to let him get out of his high school life, then why the hell isn't he still there?"
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Linkara: "Part Two opens with Spidey swinging towards what appears to be an abandoned building. In reality, it's the home of Doctor Strange, who is still in hiding after the events of Civil War."
Spider-Man: "I have to see you, doc! It's a matter of life and death!"
Doctor Strange: "It is never anything less that brings someone to my door."
Linkara (as Doctor Strange): "Yes, even for the mailman."
Linkara: "Spidey explains what's happening and was hoping that magic could offer some assistance. Instead, Doctor Strange feels the need to talk about his origin story."
Doctor Strange: "Long ago, my hands were shattered in an accident, rendered useless for someone who wished to be a doctor, a surgeon, a healer."
Linkara: "A dental technician, a nutritionist, a reconstructive urologist."
Doctor Strange: "I searched the world for someone who could fix them. My quest took me to the Himalayas, where I met the man who I would one day call 'Master'."
Linkara (as Doctor Strange): "Until that time I called him Larry."
Doctor Strange: "He told me that there are limits to what even a sorcerer supreme could do. He could not fix my hands... But he could give me a purpose, and the chance to save lives. Had he simply healed me, there would have been no one to stand between the forces of dark and light when intercession was most needed."
Linkara (as Doctor Strange): "Who knows what could happen if the McRib became a permanent menu item?"
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Linkara: "As Peter keeps looking for the girl, he spots a slightly overweight man sitting on a park bench reading Atlas Shrugged. Considering that - as we'll discover - this is an alternate version of Peter Parker, the reason he's reading Atlas Shrugged is probably a reference to the fact that Spider-Man co-creator Steve Ditko is an objectivist. Otherwise, like so much of this comic, it serves very little purpose. Peter asks who the guy is and naturally he can't just say his name because that would give away the "shocking" twist that I already spoiled for you. Instead he answers with his profession."
Alternate Peter Parker: "Oh, well, I mainly work in software design and testing. Computer games, mostly. ...First person shooters, space combat games, super hero stuff."
Linkara (as Alternate Peter): "Right now, I'm working on the ending to Mass Effect 3. I think people will really like it!"
Linkara: "Peter comments that it must be a fun job, and Game Designing Dude is quiet for a minute..."
Software Design Peter: "You know why guys like me get into games like that?"
Linkara: "For... fun...? The same reason everybody else does...?"
Software Design Peter: "Because there's something missing."
Linkara: *dismayed* "Oh no... You're not gonna do this, are you?"
Software Design Peter: "We look around at a world where there used to be a chance of being a hero, of being important. ...And it's just not there the way it used to be. You can't just pick up a gun and become a gunfighter, or go off and explore for a new world, or pull a sword out of a stone, or rescue a damsel in distress..."
Linkara: "Scientists explore new possibilities all the time. Police, firefighters and doctors are heroic in many ways. You're an idiot."
Software Design Peter: "So we play games and read books because the world we got isn't the world we were supposed to get, the world we thought we'd been promised by somebody.
Linkara: "My... god! Clearly, this version of Peter Parker has been placed here to try and make us transfer our irritation of the original's whining onto them! What the writers did not bank on, however, is that I am perfectly capable of finding them both annoying, just for different reasons. Though, I do have to say, whining about how tough life is, and how unfair everything is, while you hold a job that many people can only dream to possess... yeah, you're not lookin' like the better man."
Software Design Peter: "Because things didn't turn out the way they're supposed to. So we go someplace else."
Peter Parker: "But those places don't really exist."
Linkara: *utterly shocked* "You're seriously doing this, aren't you?!" *finally exploding* "ARE YOU KIDDING ME?!? Seriously, look at this again: "You know why guys like me get into games like that? Because there's something missing." And then we have: "Because things didn't turn out the way they were supposed to, so we go someplace else." This fricking comic just said that the reason play video games and enjoy escapist fiction is because they're losers who want something more with their lives!! I don't know if it was Joe Quesada or JMS that wrote this, but considering JMS's body of work concerning speculative fiction, and the fact that issues 3 and 4 of One More Day were heavily rewritten, I think it's fair to assume that Joe Quesada wrote this, in which case, I have something to say..." *genuinely angry* "YOU INSULTING, PATRONIZING... DICKHEAD!! How dare you! How dare you insult video game creators and players! How DARE you criticize people for enjoying escapist fiction WHEN FRICKING SUPERHERO COMICS ARE ESCAPIST FICTION!!! If JMS wrote those bits then those remarks can go to him! Either way, this scene is another reason why I decided to finally talk about this story. Forget about the deal with the devil, I am shocked that NOBODY ever talks about this!!! That's what this thing is saying!! "You buy our crap because you're a loser, so keep buying our crap, loser!" Oh, and pardon me if I've become a broken record, but, uh, yeah... all this? Completely pointless to the story. ...You know why this comic is called One More Day? It's because you want one more day after the one you just wasted reading this! Anyway... Peter is still preoccupied with finding the little girl, yet again not figuring out that perhaps this is not normal. I don't get that. On every other day, the dude fights alien symbiote costumes, guys in big rhino suits and weirdos who dress up like goblins... but all of this seems completely normal to him! He then runs into another possibility, this time a rich version of him that sacrificed his personal life and used his intelligence inventing things and becoming a multi-billionaire. However, he doesn't feel any fulfillment in life."
Rich Peter Parker: "There was a young woman I once knew from high school. Beautiful. She was all I ever really wanted. I lost her."
Linkara (as Rich Peter): "So instead, I made a tiny statue of her and put it in this wine glass. ...That's not weird, is it?"
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Linkara: "So Petey walks down an alleyway and runs into a woman in a red dress. This one I really don't understand. Yeah, it's Mephisto finally, but why this image? It doesn't affect anything in the plot, it's just really vague and stuff. A few tiny sparks go off in Peter's head as he finally states, "Hey, this is kind of surreal" and points out that he's had dreams like this."
Female!Mephisto: "How do you know this isn't a dream? How do you know your whole life hasn't been a dream? Maybe this is where you finally wake up..."
Linkara: *imitating Morpheus, complete with shades* "That's right, Peter Parker. You've been living in the Matrix this whole time. This comic is just one really stupid dream."
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Mephisto: "I deal in the currency of misery, loss, despair, hopelessness, pain, regret and sadness. they are as sweet to me as the most beautiful music ever composed."
Linkara (as Mephisto): "Or as any Katy Perry song. Either way works for me, really."
Linkara: "And at this point, Mary-Jane is brought in, where it's revealed that Mephisto is explaining the offer to her as well. Hi, Mary-Jane! How nice to see you suddenly have an important part in this story line, even though you've only been in like six pages so far in this whole damn thing! Yep, your marriage and your character's relationship are on the line, so it's a good thing you've barely been a part of the story! This is like Arsenal in Cry for Justice; let's punish and torment the person who wasn't actually in the comic until now!"
Mephisto: "What I want is greater than what one paltry soul can provide me. What I want is the one thing in the universe that is truly greater than the sum of its parts and tastier than any single soul I could devour."
Linkara (as Mephisto): "I want...tickets to be in the audience to Saturday Night Live!"
Linkara (as Peter): "...But I already used those tickets years ago!"
Linkara (as Mephisto): "What?! Aw, dammit! Do you know how hard it is to get those?!"
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There were even two memorable moments from this episode:
Linkara: *Lifts the comic up and prepares to toss it* "THIS COMIC...(suddenly stops)...is actually better than I thought it would be."
*A brief beat before Linkara explodes and throws the comic to the ground* "OF COURSE IT ISN'T! THIS COMIC SUCKS!!! Put aside whether you agree or disagree with splitting the two up! Three issues - THREE...ISSUES of a four issue story - are completely unnecessary!! Instead of building up what was supposed to be the emotional core of the story - the relationship between Peter and Mary Jane - we're treated to two issues of Peter flailing around and begging for help from people, and a third issue which only serves to point out the very obvious lesson of 'Hey, if your life had gone into a very different direction, your life would have gone in a different direction!' Let's not get into the insulting remarks that issue made about people who enjoy escapist storied like superhero comics, but when you actually start digging into the characters, everyone is stupid, or selfish or useless to the actual story! Even the title is a flat out lie! If the pacing of the comic is to be believed, that had at most AN HOUR. The promotional material for this asked 'What would you do if you had one more day?' Well, apparently the answer is 'If you have one more day with your wife, you sit on your ass not doing anything!' No contemplation of your lives together, no reminiscing of the good and crying over what you will lose; in fact, the only thing we get out of this as a celebration of their lives is a two-page spread that's basically a middle-finger to anyone who gave a damn about their relationship!! 'Hey, remember all these great times they had together as a loving couple? Yeah, that's over with! Enjoy this new character that's named after Joe Quesada's daughter! She's the love interest now because we say so! Enjoy Brand New Day and our stupid, over-hyped issue with President Obama in it BECAUSE WE LOVE JUMPING ON A BANDWAGON!'"
Linkara: *eerily calm* "Okay, I might have gotten off-track there." *angry again* "Point is, THIS COMIC SUCKS, AND I HATE IT!!"
That Guy with the Glasses: *Reads what Linkara wrote on the paper* "'No chance in Hell, you piece of...'" *Eyes widen in shock* "I can't even pronounce that!"
Linkara: "Look, I hate One More Day. That should be clear by now. But what irritates me about it the most is the complete rejection of effort. If they had just stopped and thought about how some of this stuff could have been handled, we could've had a much better story. Hell, even the deal with the devil could have been made to work! I've said how it could've been made to work, and this is not me contemplating long and hard over it; these are things that they should've thought of themselves. Instead, they took the easy route. The lazy route. Sometimes, life hands you difficult problems and people feel the need to take the easy way out of them. I don't seriously want One More Day just ignored; that's the easy way out. I want a solution. I want a follow-up story that expands on everything, that solves the problems created by it. I want effort. I want a good story. I want characters to look back at their past actions and grow from their experiences. I want them to change and evolve. There's nothing about the idea of growth that prevents good stories from being told. Everyone who buys a comic, a movie, a game, they're critics. The phrase "everyone's a critic" is used to try to brush off critcism, but it's the truth. We all hold an opinion about something. Customers are critics, because it's our money to spend and our voice to be heard. We speak out not for its own sake, but to hope that the next thing that comes along is better. And that's what I want in the end, what we all want; a better story than what we got with One More Day. So you can take that deal, That Guy with the Glasses, and shove it!!"
👍: 1 ⏩: 2
If ever I were to confront Joe Quesada, I would charge at him and deliver my fists to his face while letting the stockpiled anger be vented.
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Once again, thanks!
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Let's hope Marvel finds some way to undo this garbage.
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I sense a great evil coming a foot, may God have mercy on our souls
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you know, I just realised that in the 100th he reviewed the #1 thing on his "not gonna review it" list and in this episode he reviewed another.
So can we expect Batman #66?
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I doubt it. Ths sonic comics have a huuuuge fanbase, and one more day was the biiiig hate fest. batman 66 is just one goofy comic with one joke to make fun of. it's not offensive or huge
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Puts me in mind of The Stan Lee art for The Land Of Confusion cover Disturbed did really beautiful work.
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Remember kids, make a deal with the devil, and you'll get what you want with little to no negative reprecussions!
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Nothing good comes out of it. Ask John Blaze.
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LINKARA FOR PRESIDENT!!! [link] (This song sould been play during Linkara saying why he doesn't buy Spider-Man comic after "One More Day") Join The boycott against Joe Quesada's Spider-Man! (Shoots a gun in the air)
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The review was awesome, and this title card is menacing.
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True story: When Linkara said what he was going to review, I thought he was kidding.
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Believe me, the comic caused me just as much pain as it did her.
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I can't believe that he finally reviewed One More Day; awesome title card btw.
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Man, that comic was even worse than I imagined.
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Oh no... Even as a fan that hasn't watched his videos in forever, I still know how much he hates that certain Spider-Man comic!
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Wow, after seeing Linkara's review of that...thing. I now consider "One More Day" one of the worst mainstream stories ever created by mankind right alongside Final Fantasy 13/13-2, Southland Tales, Madbull 34, Breath of Fire 5, Mindjack, Cry for Justice, Countdown to the Final Crisis and Metroid: Other M.
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Wait till you see Avengers 200...
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im not sure that Other M counts as part of the main storyline ...but yeah Samus scared of ridley? seriously WTF? XD
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It is part of the main storyline, right between Super and Fusion. And no, it was a traumatic flashback that froze her, not so much fear.
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Yeah that too. (Can't believe I forgot about that)
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And Ultima IX, Final Fantasy XIV, and of course XCOM (BEETRAAAAAAAAAAYYYYLLLLLL!!!!!! BEE-TRAYL BETRAYED ME!!!!! THIS GAME sssssSSSSSSSSSSSSUUUUUUUCKKSSSS!!!!)
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I know why Linkara would think rebooting would be a good thing, but lets think on this little bit which I think some writers will have a problem with;
having to retell ALL of the characters's backstories in their new Number 1s. Seriously, how would they be able to do that in a short time?
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I was not expecting one more day but I'm glad we got this.
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The one comic that has had a hold over his show from the very start. Now our favorite hat-wearing comic review that which caused him to stop reading a series.
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No. Mephisto. One More Day. You proabably know this already, but I don't have a life, so there. XD
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What sort of evil and bullshittyness will Linkara face up agai[link]
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This is the best AT4W review ever. I am glad I saw this.
Also great title card MtC.
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The comics he's dreaded the most and caused so much pain...and he conquers it!
Man Linkara is awesome!
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