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DresdenskinsArt — Human Resources Photos - Matty Gray
#greasemonkey #mechanic #originalcharacter #profile #urbanfantasy #writingcommunity #amwriting #staffphoto
Published: 2020-05-09 16:25:58 +0000 UTC; Views: 472; Favourites: 3; Downloads: 0
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Human Resources Photos - Matty GrayProducer: Good afternoon, Mr Gray. I’m so glad you…
Matty: What the fuck is this?
Producer: Excuse me?
Matty: You expect me to wear this for work?
Producer: It is the Fifth Energy uniform, Mr…
Matty: It’s fucking lycra!
Photographer: Actually, sir, it’s…
Matty: *Glares at Photographer*
Photographer: … it’s none of my business…
Producer: The shirt you’re wearing is actually made from a special fibre that absorbs body heat, Mr Gray. The shirt converts that heat into energy and stores it in soft malleable power cells in the side panels. You can wirelessly charge your phone from it.
Matty: Well, lah-dee-fuckin-dah! *pulls out a Nokia 3310* Will it charge this?
Producer: Well… no… that’s a very old phone, but if you speak to Tech, they’ll issue you with a new state-of-the-art…
Matty: Will they, now? And will it survive this? *Drops phone on stone floor*
Producer: Um… probably not…
Matty: Well then ya can keep yer fuckin’ phone… and yer super-duper battery shirt… and these pants – they’re crushin’ me fuckin’ love-spuds! And if ya think I’m wearin this in the fuckin’ workshop ya can…
Photographer: Sir… please… *looks worried* …it’s just for the staff profile photo… The C.E.O. says you can wear what you like at work.
Matty: Oh… well… in that case just take the goddam photo!
Producer: Excellent. So if you could just…
Photographer: *Click* done!
Producer: But…
Photographer: NEXT!
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