Comments: 17
TheLordFanboy [2013-01-28 05:17:08 +0000 UTC]
The ending to the first part is terrific and unexpected. To think, she wants rainbow dash to BE THE FOAL. Unexpected! And did you mean your version had more creepiness and fetishes in then th original, or the other way around.
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GamertheHedgehog [2013-01-11 23:30:41 +0000 UTC]
Just by glancing at this, I can already say this version is better than the original.
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CUZIN21 [2012-10-09 19:48:41 +0000 UTC]
Great job on the story, bro! This is my 3rd month on DeviantART. And I REALLY do like your ¨Tails' Nightmare¨ series too!
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AndytheB-Artist [2012-05-01 00:59:19 +0000 UTC]
From what I've seen so far, it seems like you're trying to smooth out some of the more jagged edges of "Pattycakes". Word of God says that this was supposed to be a parody of "Cupcakes", but doesn't have any satire in it though. This does. [link]
Would this make a good theme song for Fluttershy and Rainbow Dash's relationship in this story? [link]
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Ian16545 [2012-03-10 20:40:46 +0000 UTC]
At first glance, I thought this was MLP:FIM's idea of "Baby Mama"... job well done thus far!
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suescungaray [2012-03-10 17:03:03 +0000 UTC]
wait...Big Mac did WHAT?!!!
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PsychoStreakProny In reply to suescungaray [2012-03-10 18:13:12 +0000 UTC]
Yea th-... the... original... its flat out illogical smut. someone wrote it while cumming to make other people cum
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GlitchyProductions In reply to PsychoStreakProny [2012-03-27 21:38:19 +0000 UTC]
Heh, heh.
Out of all the stories that I've read that use the MLP franchise. Pattycakes (Original) is my guilty pleasure for when it comes to reading.
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PsychoStreakProny [2012-03-10 08:46:51 +0000 UTC]
I'll be brutally honest here.
1; fuck 90% of the bronies out there in their tight asses, to this day I refuse to go to a brony community site due to the absolute disgust I feel thinking of the hilarity of their "love and tolerance for all" policy, which doesn't include anything like rule 34 of ponies (not to mention how much they spaz out about logical things.... see the 'derpy wars' i think it was called?). The 'reviews' of pattycakes were of course shitty because, as usual, being something that most people don't understand, it was just seen as sick and creepy. You like it or you don't, and if you don't like it, you have a 1/1,000,000 chance to understand that FETISHES ARE 90% OF THE TIME IRRATIONAL. Everyone has their own tastes, everyone else just has to get used to that.
2; this is incredible. You've managed to make a semi-readable smut story into one of the few (for lack of a better term) porn stories where by the end of 1 part, I haven't jizzed and that doesn't upset me! This story has actual substance to it and is in a seemingly well thought out parallel. The minor minor little things that made me go "o_o... huh?" seem to be the kind of thing that's implied but not explicitly stated (a technique that I'm horrible with, I always fear that the reader won't get an implication so I tend to in a roundabout way say what I'm trying to say). Unlike most porn stories, I only skipped a few lines due to me not really being riveted. It kept my attention, it made me VERY interested as it went on to find out just how else things worked in this parallel. It was overall a very nice read with little to no weaknesses.... with really good stuff like this.... ugh, its my natural critic...ness... that kinda makes me unable to fully enjoy them, because finding one mistake, even a minor one can kinda derail the happy train...
""I'd like to help me get a baby."" YOU ARE NOT AN IDIOT, I HAVE INDUCTED THIS FROM THIS WRITING. Y U MAKE TINY MISTAKE AT END!?! I don't have any REAL problems with a mistake or two, we're all human, it just irks me. You forgot the "you", either that or you made a bad sentence.
I plan to read part two tomorrow, I do hope it doesn't go downhill from here.
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GlitchyProductions In reply to PsychoStreakProny [2012-03-10 10:06:03 +0000 UTC]
Thanks for the comment.
I'll get right on that little error, thanks for pointing that out.
It's a shame that people can't accept other people for who and what they are and their preferences in having fun and what-not.
Again, thanks for the review on the story and I'll take note into what you said. I'll try and finish off the other chapters and stuff like that when I have the proper time.
Thank you.
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